Sex after giving birth?!

[Renaissance227]

How quickly did you get back to having sex after giving birth? Both me and my DP have a very high sex drive, but I can't imagine wanting it as much after giving birth!

lurcher, that sounds like a very similar experience to me, I had a repair at nearly 10 months postnatal. Kept getting sent away by GP as she decided I wasn't healing quickly due to still breastfeeding, think I finally got referred at 6 months postnatal. If it makes you feel any better, DC2 was conceived about 3 weeks after the op :o

I'm afraid I'm in the "very last thing on earth" category

I think it was at least 6 months and probably every 6 months give or take after that. DH v understanding, thank goodness.

Too tired, no sex drive, feel ugly, no pelvic floor musclees to speak of and if I'm brutally honest too scared to do it in case I got pregnant again as I couldn't bear the thought of another baby.

I waited 2 weeks after my first and a week after my second.

6 months (when bf had finished) after DC1 and 9months after DC2. I'm still bfing DC2 but DH has been waiting a LONG time as only had sex once after conceiving DC2 (we've just had a celebate patch of about 15 months!)

:( heatherlh
YOu poor thing! Glad DH is understanding as it doens't help to feel pressured.

We were 16 days post DD1, though had to abstain 3 wks before birth due to late (unexplained) bleed.

This time round can't seem to find a position that works (SPD too, doesn't help) so who knows after... Like others have said, having a baby sleeping (or not sleeping) next to you in room can be an issue.

Personally (God, this is really personal thread, isn't it!) I felt different 'down there' for months after, but all tightened up etc eventually and felt like before after a few months.

The night after my six-week check-up.

Or, as DH liked to call it, the sex-week check-up.

Was nervous but totally fine.

Like others, I too felt the urge quite soon after the birth (but was in no fit state to act upon it!) - hormones!

I have had 3 children and each time it took a year for my internal muscles to relax enough. This was undoubtedly connected to breast feeding. When the baby was finally taking more food from elsewhere it got better. It caused no problems for our marriage. Interestingly my singing voice also suffered from breast feeding. I think the same kind of muscles control the windpipe as the vagina.

4 months and counting. We tried at 10 weeks as some stitches didn't dissolve properly so was told to wait another month after the 6w check and again at about 14 weeks but it's very uncomfortable even with buckets of lube.

It was 4 weeks after DD even though I had an episiotomy (cant spell sorry!) and then 3rd degree tears on top. My bleeding stopped quite quickly and although it wasn't the best sex we've had, it was really a case of getting back on the horse to see if everything function properly. With DS, it was a bit longer, but after 2nd degree tears again we wanted to get back on it again.

Both times it was more a practical thing rather than a lusting thing. Pregnancy itself put my off sex!!!

we had twins. DP so terrified of it happening again, it was two and a half YEARS.

2 months after the 1st one and 9 months after the 2nd one, I breastfed with my 2nd and just didn't feel like it, only now (after 9 months) do I actually feel like it. I have just felt like my body isn't really mine.

6 weeks-ish. My sex drive actually went up post-birth as it had gone away from the middle of pregnancy (that 2nd trimester when you're supposed to feel horny ha ha) so suddenly I felt more 'normal' though obviously shattered. Then about, I don't know, 2 or 3 months after the birth the breastfeeding hormones kicked in and off it disappeared again. Hmmph.

We still haven't......... ds1 is just over 8 months and I had an emcs so can't even use that as an excuse! Breast feeding and broken nights don't help, I feel a bit like heatherlh :(

I was up for it pretty quickly but waited for the lochia to finish which took about 3 weeks then got back to it a couple of days later .

GP's are so bloody lazy! When I went for my 6 week check-up (or is it 8 week?) she just said oh how's the pain? I said yes so-so and she ok just take paracetamol for it. They should do a proper check of tears/healing processes with every woman as you have no idea what is going on down there.....

Oinky, I agree. I managed to make a fool out of myself with my 6 week appt. I already knew it wasn't right down there and when I said this to the GP, she asked if I wanted her to have a look, to which I replied 'ooo, do you mind?' She just sort of looked at me with an amused look and said 'well, it is my job!'

I'm digging this topic up from the grave! But it seems like a lot of my mummy friends who are about to give birth are asking me the same questions: When did I have sex again? Was it uncomfortable? Etc. etc.

I'm linking back this thread to them so they can read your responses so they understand that each mum has a different experience. Mine took between 3-4 months (I had an EMCS) and was not comfortable doing anything active until well after my 2nd month post-partum.

Anyway, just to share also these articles I found, one from Mumsnet as well that helped me during recovery:

www.mumsnet.com/relationships/sex-after-childbirth
www.mamaway.co.uk/?action=library_detail&type=2&did=29

4 weeks , I really wanted it after 2 weeks but I was too scared ! I was pleasantly surprised that whilst it felt a big different it didn't hurt at all!