Worried I won't be able to look after DS

[BlingLoving]

i have had horrendous sleep problems throughout this pregnancy and am now 37 weeks. From about week 14, I have woken up every 1-3 hours, every night. And it's getting worse. In the last couple of weeks I have only had 3 hours sleep in one go once and have mostly had about 90 minutes at a time. As a result, I am shattered and ds hasn't even turned up yet. The last two nights have been even worse, with me waking every hour or so and as I have no reserves, it completely flattens me.

I have mentioned the sleep thing to the midwives repeatedly, but they dismiss it. But I am so tired now, I don't know how I will cope when ds is here. After labour, which I guess is pretty tiring!!, then him waking me up at least every two hours for the first few weeks. I am scared I am just going to fall apart because I dont know how much longer I can do this.

Please don't tell me sleeping badly is good prep for the baby because this level of sleep deprivation over this length of time isn't good for anyone and I am already sat here crying my eyes out.

Been there. Yes, you do worry. I was particularly worried after a long labour and not getting any sleep for at least 24 (if not 36) hours before DD was born.

BUT you do cope. Best advice to give is SLEEP when baby sleeps. You manage. NO IDEA how. But you do >>trying to be vaguely encouraging but probably failing emoticon

You are not sleeping now due to being pregnant and so when the baby comes you'll prob actually sleep better!
I was very similar with ds1 and was very worried! But it was actually easier once baby arrived as I slept better in between baby waking me plus dh could take a turn when I was shattered

When you have given birth, your body is designed to be able to cope with short amounts of sleep, and to sleep more often. If you breastfeed, this natural instinct (all to do with the oxytocin I believe) will be stronger.

I know it's hard not to worry, but your body might well surprise you and make everything OK.

Take care. :)

It will be different. As followme said, at the moment, no one can take over the burden even for a minute. But once he's out, accept every time someone asks if they can help. Stuff doing the ironing say 'yes please, take him for a walk for an hour' then go to bed immediately. Don't think you'll just do this or that, just go to bed.

You become very good at falling asleep straight away!

I think possibly what's putting you off is expecting to feel the way you do now. Yes, birth is exhausting but let's face it, you won't be staggering about looking after your baby with a 37 weeks bump and associated discomforts!

You will be ok. I promise. It's not a walk in the park, but it is achievable.

37 weeks is the shittiest time of pregnancy, you feel like crap, everything makes you tired, you can't get comfy, you can't find exactly the perfect food you want and you want to cry all the time. If its any consolation I have always found the last few weeks of pregnancy much, much more tiring and difficult than any of the first few weeks,months with a newborn plus you don't have a beautiful baby to gaze at. Honestly and I am not fibbing to make you feel better(I'm not that nice).

I slept better the first few months of the baby being born than the last eight weeks or so of pregnancy. Dd3 is now 11 weeks and no way would I have had more than 1 if it was that tough. Good luck.

Thank you all. I am feeling better now but it's good to know people understand!

Blingloving are you still working~?

I agree with everything the others have said. The best thing my DH did after DS arrived was he would take him every morning for 1 hour. I'd feed sometime between 5 and 7am, then DH would take him away. I don't know what they did - slept? read New Scientist? watched tv? I don't care. All I know is that every day I had one hour when I wasn't on call. I could sleep without having one ear open for a baby crying. And somehow that was enough to recharge my batteries.

I'm now 36 weeks with DC3 and also waking up every couple of hours in the night. It's fecking horrible - I'm fecking horrible! Make sure you get some good sleep this weekend. Prioritise sleep - go to bed earlier, nap during the day, do whatever you need to feel better.

I slept much better when DD was born than was I was pregnant!

Although I was waking up frequently to feed I fell asleep almost immediately, and it was the falling asleep bit I found really difficult in pregnancy.

If you are breastfeeding your body also releases hormones to help you cope. And I often just fed DD on our bed, than fell asleep next to her (so lovely).

I completely understand. I had really bad pg insomnia and ended up on reduced hours at work. The first few weeks with dd2 were pretty hellish. But you know what, it took her 6 months to sleep in the evening, she still wakes up 2/3 times a night at 7 months BUT I'm still here, doing actually ok (with the help of some ADs to help me cope with the lack of sleep). I also have a 3 year old.

Tips:

Don't beat yourself up
Don't expect too much, really, if you manage to brush teeth in the first few weeks that is an achievement
Don't compare yourself to other people
Do what you get to get through the day
Don't waste ds's nap time doing house work. If you can nap do, if not just chill on the sofa

You will cope. It's tough, and I don't cope well with lack of sleep, but it is a different sort of tiredness. You will feel like you have been hit by a truck for about a week. Feel a sense of achievement at getting out of the house at two weeks. The adrenaline will kick in and you will wonder how you can possibly function on so little sleep. You'll coast along till about 6 months when things feel like are normal and this is real life now then you will hit a wall of tiredness and the cumulative effects of months of little sleep will knock you for six. Then it'll get better again and either the baby will sleep better or you just learn to accept it, and meltdowns and proclamations that you can't take any more will be limited to about once a fortnight or so.

It'll be fine . They look at you in the middle of the night and smile and say "Ba?" and smile and you forget you haven't slept longer than 4 hours straight in 12 months!

aw i was hoping it would get better, been terrible, fall asleep while on the laptop, or watchin the tv in bed, but i wake up not long afterwards, and find it difficult to get back to sleep, and when i finally do, i'm constantly waking up. The night before last i woke up every single hour. Last night i fell asleep about 12.30am, i woke up at 3am then 6.30am and took me about an hour to get back to sleep (i refused to get up that early when i didn't need to). Once i got back to sleep i woke up again at 7.45ish and woke up every 10 mins and finally got up at 8.45. ugh hate this feeling and the thought that it goes on throughout the rest of my pregnancy is a horrible thought, i'm only 21+5 lol this is gonna be a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng pregnancy lol.

Thanks all. I have stopped working now and trying to chill a bit which is helping. It's also helping to know others get through it! After 2 lots of 3 hours sleep I feel a bit better today.