Second time

[xiaobaitu]

Hello,

Thanks very much for reading this.

Two years ago I found myself pregnant. I was 26 and decided I wasn't ready so I had a medical abortion. It was the most traumatic experience my boyfriend and I have gone through and I spent the days and months afterwards questioning whether I made the right decision.

My boyfriend and I do not have either a stable relationship or a stable income. He has a hard time with commitment and he slept with an ex girlfriend some time ago but was very remorseful so I forgave him. So, in the midst of all this relationship problems, I found out that I'm pregnant again and I haven't told him yet.

I guess I wondered what other people's experience with this is. I'm concerned about my psychological state should I abort again, but I'm also incredibly scared about a lifelong commitment with someone who can barely commit to buying a summer holiday together.

I will definitely talk to him soon but I was thinking about how to start this off on the right tracks. I could totally end it with him and try and make it as a single mom or try and keep a family unit. Or go ahead with another medical abortion and stay away from him forever.

Thanks for any words of wisdom!

A difficult descision. It sounds like you are worried about how you will cope with the aftermath of either descision. I would definetely see a counsellor.
In a way it might be best to take him out of the picture (metaphorically) even in a stable relationship you can never guarantee whats going to happen, things dont always work out the way we imagine.
Do you ant this baby? Do you want o be a mother?
There are plenty of happy ingle mothers out there, and having a child neednt mean you couldn't find another partner to have a relationship with.
Its a descision only you can make. Take your time to make the right choice for you.
S x

Wow xiao, that is a really hard situation. Like Selina said, you need to really decide for yourself if you are ready / if you want to be a Mum. There are plenty of happy, healthy single mums with happy, healthy children & there is all kinds of help available to you if you choose to go down this route.

Please do have a chat with him & see how he feels about this. IMO, he does have a right to know before you make any decisions because the baby is his too. You never know, this might be the kick up the bum he sounds like he needs & he might surprise you.

Only you can make the final decision though. You need to do what is right for you.