Sharing every little thing on facebook... is it just me whos bored of it??

[Vix1980]

Hi, i just want to get some other opinions on this at the moment i have a friend who has constantly updated her profile on a daily basis of picturesof her pregnancy, i think its a nice way to remember it but to share it on face book is going too far, the worst i saw was her naked in bed eating ice cream.... yes shes that bad!!!
along with this we have daily updates of her piles, how far she can walk, where the baby is lying etc, ive hidden her because its just too much, i dont go on there as a it is yet when i do at leat 50pics of this friend come up straight away. She knows i recently has a mc, not once has offered any support and now another of our close friends is going through the same thing and she still hasnt stopped.

I totally get the fact you get wrapped up in your own little world when your pregnant and want to share the news with everyone, but this constant status updates every hour on the hous is beyond too much, nobody comments on them so i think she would of got the hint by now, if it were me pregnant id be so more considerate to take my friends feelings into account. instead i just logged on and up came 39 pics of her new baby she had last night, i counted how many updates she had done while in labour.... 18!!! is it just me with obsessive friend who thinks the world needs to know what shes up to on a daily basis!!! sorry rant over! x

Hi Vix really sorry to hear about your MC. What I think you're going to have to do is block updates from this friend from your news feed. That way, when you're feeling strong you're still able to see her page if you want, but you don't see it all straightaway when you log in.

Firstly, sorry about your mc - I hope you can find someone to talk it through with who understands- there are many people on here who should be able to offer an ear.

I agree that the facebook thing is slightly irritating - I am on it but tend to use it to keep in touch with our close friends who live abroad - posting pics and e-mailing. I find that the person who I believe, is probably, underneath it all, the most insecure, is the one that posts the most about who she's seeing, when, what where (if she's that busy where does she find the time ?)....that's just in my case. In your friends case, it's all new and exciting and she is probably bursting with happiness and pride. Equally, I can see that for you, it's hard as no-one in your position wants that sort of thing thrust at them . That said, facebook is a public page for you and all her other friends - it's not like she's texting you personally or e-mailing you personally with it but even those not in your position might not want to be bombarded with all that information either on facebook. I think you've done the right thing - hide her comments so you don't have to see them and then you can deal with all this in your own time.

If you have hidden her I can't see a problem tbh

She can write what she likes on her FB

Really sorry Vix :(
That sucks. She should be more considerate

i delete people like that, there is no need for it (whether or not its upsetting to you)

Really sorry to hear about your MC Vix. :(

Your friend sounds similar to a couple of my friends - they posted anything & everything on their fb pages one including a v.graphic description of their show. Another had their baby in early 2010, her constant updates on her pregnancy were nice for a while (she lives really far away) but I drew the line when the baby was born & every status was "Baby just rolled over", "Baby is asleep, aww", "Baby just woke up" .etc, hid her straight away after this.

Another posts constant updates on how her breastfeeding is going, I feel like posting a comment along the lines of "Yes, you're breastfeeding not formula feeding, great, we get it. Now please stop posting pointless updates you know our mutual friend who had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis & other issues can see & feels awful about you spiteful cow!"

I agree with what others have said, hide her from yours News Feed (if you see one of her updates - go to the top right of the comment & their should be a little 'x', you can choose to hide her updates from your Feed. Either that or just delete her, I'm sorry but if she knows you have recently had a MC & hasn't offered any support - just insensitive & constant updates then it sounds like you would be better off without this woman in your life.

yes, just hide her updates (or delete her as a friend for a while!). I never update anything on FB relating to my pregnancy... its so boring for all my non-preg or childless friends. I have several friends who are expecting the same time as me, and one of them went and posted all her 12wk scan pics up there....personally, I think this is way too much info. So sorry to hear of your miscarraige, wishing you lots of luck for the future xx

maybe you could suggest to her that she writes a blog? I mean she obviously has the need for an outlet. You could suggest that a blog would be a better record of her new life, which she could share with the baby when it is old enough. Maybe that way she will get excited about it and stop posting so much on FB. Also if it was me and I was upsetting my friends with my PG and baby facebookings I would rather know, maybe you should tell her how her posting makes you and your other friend feel, if she can't moderate her behaviour to save you pain is she really worth having as a friend at all? Good Luck.

Sorry to hear about your MC Vix. It's sad that your friend has not offered more support or acknowledged your loss. I guess it's easy to get caught up in your own pregnancy.

I also have a friend who sounds very much like yours! I have not hidden her, but my DH has. His exact words were 'If that kid 'gets any bigger' she will be the size of a house!' Obviously this was in response to the bombardment of status' along these lines:
'Can't believe how big __ is now',
' just rolled over, can't believe how big she is',
'___ will be one in a few short months, can't belive how big she is getting'

YOU GET THE PICTURE; it gets a bit old after a while

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage and also that your friend didn't offer any support or sensitivity.

I lost twins at 24 weeks last year (both born alive) and my cousin kept updating with similar statuses, although thank goodness she didn't go as far as to add hideous photos! She had named her baby before he was born though and kept udating her status to say things like 'me and 'insert baby's name' miss Daddy so much today' I was happy for her, but it still drove me mad. I even confessed to my sister I almost hoped that baby came out a girl so they had to change his name. (yes, I'm clearly evil...)

I also have a few friends who update constantly and I almost feel sorry for them as they clearly have nothing better to do...

Really sorry about your MC. I think you've done the right thing to hide her - it's a bit inconsiderate but it's her page at the end of the day, and I bet you're not the only one hiding her!

I'm really careful what I put on facebook about my pregnancy - I don't know of anyone who has recently MC'ed or can't have children, but you never know because a lot of people wouldn't share that sort of info with their wider facebook community anyway. I'd generally hate to have to keep seeing stuff about someone else's pregnancy, do unto others and all that.

Plus I do have other things about me still other than being pregnant, and I'd rather people remembered that. I treat facebook a bit like a CV though, it's sort of my 'advert' for myself and although I'm not ashamed of it, I don't really want to advertise that I'm pregnant tbh :/

I understand it's hard since you've had a MC. But it's not her fault. It's not fair that you're moaning about her for being excited! I'm very private about my pregnancy and lots of my friends have been asking why there are no bump pictures!
My boyfriends auntie has been going through IVF and can't conceive but she is one of the most supportive and excited people about our little one coming.

I can't imagine how hard going through a MC is, but does that mean everyone elses life concerning babies has to stop? There are reminders everywhere, all the tv adverts, all the prams round the supermarket. Think if it bothers you, just block her and let her be happy and excited! There's nothing wrong with her loving her baby!

Hide her updates Vix, I cannot stand this kind of thing - I sometimes think, what will happen when those children are teenagers and their entire lives have been documented on FB?! Especially if you have aquaintances as well as friends on there. I have hidden so many friends updates because of this and deleted some people too.

Oh dear, it can be very hard to be as excited for other people especially after a mc I am sure. Maybe now she has had it she will have less time to FB or you could have a conversation about how nice it is to have friends who don't talk babies the whole time as it is nice to be a person not a mummy the whole time. Good luck, hopefully your friendship will get back on track and hope things work out for you soon xx

Hiya, thanks for the input,
Dont worry though she is well hidden, ive seen everything from her positivepregnancy test pictures (droplets included!!) to the 4d alien pictures and everything in between, its not the fact shes being insensitive to myself and my other friend, shes totally allowed to be happy and im genuinely happy for her she will make a great mum (when shes not on facebook that is). Its more the constant need for attention telling everyone what shes doing every second of the day. I like the idea of doin a blog, that would be ideal for her!!

Apricotears I love your husbands response - i will be waiting for the first update i can reply to in a cynical way -- Cant wait for " baby has just had his first feed of the day" well you better watch outor he'll end up with an arse the size of yours!!

God it must be aunt flo time ive turned into such a bitch!!! xx

Sorry about your mc I found it hard seeing pregnancy announcements on facebook after suffering 2 devastating losses however I wouldn't hold it against anyone. It's easier to see news announced online like that instead of whilst being hormonal in sainsburys and faced with friend and bump!

I do how hate seeing certain people's constant updates about potty training, burps, etc etc but in the same way I hate seeing people's constant updates about exes, dinner ingredients etc etc. I either delete or just ignore.

However the person I was considering using for childminding has recently started using f book and I am glad I can see that as she is ALWAYs posting about being tired, having a crappy day and some kid annoying her. These were great statuses as I have dropped any idea I had of using her as a childminder!!! She can't be watching e kids or doing the many activities she promises......she's not cheap either.

I find the FB thing a total mystery. Why does anyone think that there's a captivated audience out there for every teeny bit of pregnancy and baby minutae? I'm 38 weeks and have not once posted one bloody comment. I've had an MC myself and I have friends who can't have kids. It just looks like gloating to me and it leaves a sour taste. Surely people can email or text friends instead?

So sorry to read some of the sad stories above. Big hugs to you all.

TBH i don't think she's doing it to rub your nose in it or to upset you, i just think she's probably really excited and wanting people to share that with her. And as for posting pics of her newborn, i did the exact same thing as have many of my friends. You want to share your joy with the world and FB is a great way of doing that. I think you've done the right thing by hiding her status's if they're upsetting you though.

She may even have had problems before and is super excited about having her baby? Some people want to tell the world and celebrate that their very own miracle Is finally happening.

My friend had numerous losses and when things finally went her way she did post all over her Facebook. She got a similar response from some people but she was just very pleased.

Just a thought?

Same here, Vix - immediately after my MMC, I just avoided Facebook as much as I could because I had a number of close friends who were expecting around the same time and just couldn't really deal with the over-sharing element, although obviously I was happy for them individually and contacted them off Facebook to say so.

One contact on Facebook (ex-colleague, not a close friend) announced her pregnancy there and put up some kind of feature that said every week 'x is 14 weeks pregnant and her baby is now the size of a and doing b' etc and that was just too much, I thought. She even posted up her ultrasound pictures etc - at that point I was going to hide her but then a few days later I got my own bfp so her status updates weren't quite so painful for me to read anymore. Facebook is a bit much generally, I think, and I hardly use it apart from wishing friends abroad a happy birthday or to share holiday pics etc. Needless to say, I am NOT posting daily updates on the size of my bump now that I'm pregnant! Even though I'm 18 weeks, I've barely announced my pg to anyone actually.

In my prime - i too have had the status updates from another site with full graphical pictures of what the baby has grown this week. arrgghh! tbh though when i was pregnant i certainly googled it too but would of dreamt of sharing it on facebook with everyone!

I think its easy to assume im the bitter 1 just cos ive had a mc, its really not about that, im really pleased for her (she's the type who has to have attention constantly by making up illness's - she once told us she had a pre-cancerous wart!! so im hoping by having a baby to look after she will settle down and i can get on with her without wanting to throw something at her!!), ive been and put a card and pressie for her in the porch as thought they were sleeping when she didnt answer, its really not about me being all jealous though its more of a "i cant believe you expect people to be waiting every minute to hear what you up to" i really dont get how someones ego can be so big!!

on another note though i have my partners cousin who updates at leat 4 times a day about how she "loves her Lover and her little angle all the world".

I know she means angel but it still makes me laugh after 2 yrs of doing it she still doesnt know shes proclaiming love for a 45 degree angle! she also once told everyone that she'd been the doctors and has got an sti - she meant sty!!

vix, you're totally right, IMO. And even taking into account the need for some people to want to 'share with the world', FB has an easy to use feature where people can post to select groups of friends, hiding some content from others. I have to question the motives of those who don't use this feature when sharing very private information - how hard is it to be sensitive to the feelings of others? In this context I'm afraid I also see it as "gloating" as Janoschi pointed out. Most wouldn't gloat or boast in normal life to this extent - not without being told to shut it at some point.

If people can choose who they share their info with ... and make a choice to share with EVERYONE then, I'm sorry, they make me wonder what's going on in their heads. Especially given a lot of people don't have very close freinds and family exclusively linked to their accounts - including work mates, friends of friends etc. How likely am I (or anyone) in the real world to carry scan pictures in my wallet and stop my work colleague in the corridor to show them the latest pics of my uterous...?! Highly unlikely, I think, so why do people feel its OK to do it on FB?? I find FB seriously bizarre about the way it changes people's ideas of what is and isn't private.

Block or delete. I get fed up of regular updates about how much people love their partners, tell them for goodness sakes the rest of us don't need to know.
I have a two strike rule, if they annoy me twice I delete. Apart from family they have a three strike rule

Nunnie love your three-strike rule! And yes, as if you need to keep saying you love your DH and DCs all the bloody time. Well, der!!

I don't know about anyone else but I'm pretty careful about what I put on FB about my pregnancy because I'm friends with some people I hardly know and don't want them knowing the ins and outs of my bodily functions, thanks very much! In person I'm all for being a baby bore as you can usually judge face-to-face when people want to talk about stuff, but just not on FB.

One of my friends (from primary school, not seen her since!) updates about 5 times a day about stupid things like 'waiting for my boyfriend to get out of bed' and I hide her from time to time when she just gets too tedious.

Nunnie Definatly will start to follow your lead and have my own 3 strike rule on FB. And totally agree with AppleyEverAfter your so right i really dont mind if i bump into someone pregnant, ill ask heaps of questions and be really excited for them, but i just cannot bear having it forced in my face when ive just logged on to reply to an email or something.Imagine this time next year you bump into your old bump or somethoing and they ask you how are your stitches now after reading about them on a daily basis! doesnt bear thinking about! Im truly glad its over as i can now look forward to not having to see a picture of her face on a daily basis, i have that at least to be greatful for!x