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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Blue about blue

17 replies

incog · 06/11/2005 16:05

Find it hard to admit to feelings and know i will get over them but i just so wanted a pink one and mine is blue. I am very grounded and know how lucky i am that all is well with my precious baby but i just yearned for pink. Feel very selfish but have only the family i have 'made' and just wanted.......
Anyone been there?

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cardQUEENcod · 06/11/2005 16:09

are you talking baout wanting a girla dn getting a boy?

4blue1pink · 06/11/2005 16:14

yes!

cardQUEENcod · 06/11/2005 16:14

ah
well hey ho any thing like that can be a supise
maybe you are just shocked.

have you otheres?

iris66 · 06/11/2005 16:26

I was convinced I was having a blue one all through last pg & even said to DH "can I have another one" within minutes of giving birth to a pink one I became suitably enthralled by her within the firt day though, and completely forgot the flavour issue, so I shouldn't fret too much.
Expectation vs reality can make you feel pants (and selfish and that you won't love them the same and a whole host of others) but at the end of the day all that matters is that you have a beautiful baby to add to your family.
FWIW I wanted another pink one this time as DD has been so lovely to raise and had fleeting guilty,selfish moment when we found out that this one is blue. I'm chuffed to bits now though and can't wait to meet him. HTH

AnnaK · 07/11/2005 13:53

I was sure I would have a girl and found out on the scan it was a boy. I was gutted - what do I know about boys?! When he arrived, however, I was prepared and fell in love with him fairly promptly. I was just grateful the scan was so clear, I would have been gutted to find out on the day. Every sympathy and hope the feelings get better.

PrettyCandles · 07/11/2005 14:21

We already had a boy, and were both independantly convinced that no2 was another boy. I was delighted at the thought of having two boys, though grieved that I wouldn't have the opportunity of doing girly things with a dd. When the baby was born I was so convinced that I was having a boy that when dh said "It's a girl!" I thought I was overhearing something from another labour room.

It took about 8w before I even admitted to myself that I was disappointed not to have another boy. It didn't make any difference to my love for my dd - I fell in love with her within minutes of seeing her, though it took longer with my ds - but I felt all mucked-up inside because of seeming ungrateful.

God knows why we feel this way. It's not particularly rational, but then we're not particularly rational either - particularly in the first months after giving birth! You'll come to terms with it eventually. You don't need to tell yourself to feel grateful for what you've got, because you are allowed to feel grateful and to wish for more at the same time. Just as long as the wishing for more doesn't overtake your life.

How old is your ds?

4blue1pink · 09/11/2005 10:50

i have boys of 13 9 and soon to be 3 and a girl of 11!

Was told one of boys was gifted at parents evening last night and i barely have the opportunity to give him the time of day ..bless! Girl is quite demanding and a pain but its a closeness....I cannot put my finger on it... Plus the whole sister for my daughter issue!

bsg · 09/11/2005 16:19

I was told I was having a girl and had a boy. Bit of a shock really.All the pink clothes had to go back.We had a girls name organised and everything. I have now had a girl but didnt beleive what they said at scan and didnt but anything until she was born. I don't think anyone is disappointed but it is a shock as you have already imagined what they will look like etc etc.

joanna4 · 09/11/2005 22:19

Pretty candles I am glad I am not alone in feeling like you did it is strange and hard to explain to someone who doesnt know or even to put into words.
My dd is 9 next week and despite a large family of cousins and one sibling she remains the only girl in the whole family. As the odds were slim we didnt think she could be a girl.
My dh cousin had a little boy last night and my dd so wanted bump to be a girl,although to be fair my dd is more like the boys than the boys at times!

starandsnowshaker · 09/11/2005 22:23

i was convinced i was having a boy even though i felt i was having a girl and the scan said girl. i though cos i wanted a girl so much id get a boy so in the end i quite looked forward to having my wee boy. when my baby was born i asked what it was they said girl and i swear i cried so much cos i had my baby girl but also cos i wasnt having the boy i had thought about for months

hotmama1 · 09/11/2005 22:29

I was so sure I was having a boy as I felt so differently to when pregnant with dd. However, I was wrong and am 29 weeks pregnant with dd2. Really had mixed feelings at the beginning - shock really - at 38 I am unlikely to have any more (but never say never )

Give it time - I am now really delighted and looking forward to the end of Jan!

sweetkitty · 10/11/2005 09:07

I'm the opposite I was so sure DB no 2 was a girl as my pregnancies have been identical (31 weeks today) and the scan said girl too.

DP and I were talking about this last night and he said he would really like a boy next time and I think I would too to even things up a little bit. He even said well if we have another girl we'll just have to have a 4th the way I'm feeling right now a 3rd is even in doubt.

I have mixed feelings about this baby being a girl too, if it were completely up to me I'm delighted about having 2 little girls but feel it would have been better to have a boy as it would stop everyone else commiserating and asking when are you going to have a boy? At least I could have had a 3rd baby for the sake of having a 3rd baby not because other people think we want a boy. We would have had a third baby regardless.

PrettyCandles · 10/11/2005 13:53

Sweetkitty, it swings both ways! Everyone assumes that our family is now complete because we have one of each, and many parents of one of each will tell you that people ask 'why are you having another' when pg with no3.

HuggyBear · 10/11/2005 14:02

I really wanted a girl and was told i was having one on my 20 weeks scan.

I bought pink dresses, decorated the room pink.

I had a boy!

After the shock i relaised as long as he was healthy i didnt really care

The when i got pregnant again, i so wanted a girl so i could use all those little pink dresses i had kept.

I had another Boy. I was so ashamed that i felt disappointed. But when i got to cuddly my new baby and spend ime with him and fall in love with him i knew it didnt matter, i love my sons.

Its nice that they have a brother to grow up with and they get on well.

I still have the pink dresses in the back of the wardrobe though....

4blue1pink · 10/11/2005 17:22

I had not found out with any of mine but was so desperate this time and to tell the truth really did think it was a girl deep down. I did not ask at scan apart from if she could tell but not to tell me...she said 'oh yes'
Two days later i went back and asked her and she said she had looked at some photos and from that and her recall she thought it was a boy.
I am ashamed of how upset i was.
I am over it now but at 38 am unsure whether or not i will try again..............I have alot of children but spread widely!
Life is funny - i cannot wait to hold him now and feel very over protective of him already!

lulabelle · 11/11/2005 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skyler · 11/11/2005 15:34

I have a dd1 and when I was pregnant again I really wanted another girl. I didn't find out at scans but convinced myself that I was having a boy. I was spot on with my prediction first time round. I had lots of moments when I was first pregnant feeling sick with guilt that I wouldn't be happy with a boy when I knew I should be grateful for a healthy baby. I hated myself for the feelings and was only able to talk about them on here. Eventually I actually got used to and excited about the idea of having a boy and was looking forward to it and then I had a GIRL after all. I was totally in shock and though they had made a mistake and she couldn't be mine. It took me 3 weeks to really believe it as I had imagined this little baby boy for the best part of eight months.
Now I can look back and think what a waste of my time and energy worrying when I didn't even know! But at the time it was so upsetting. Pregnancy hormones can take away all your rational thinking. I promised dh that if we ever have another I will find out what it is to avoid all those silly thoughts and enable me to bond better with my bump.
Anyway, just trying to say that I think it is very common and you will begin to feel better given time. I know it can make you feel totally rubbish and guilty and just a horrible person, but you are not. I think it is quite normal. Hormones have a lot to answer for IMHO.
Take care and good luck.

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