To NCT or not to NCT?

[elgoldenflower]

I'm 14 weeks and I'm trying to decide on antenatal classes (pronto as they'll get booked up soon) and loads of people are recommending NCT particularly for the support network it creates. DP and I are a little unsure as we're not big social group people (although I am maybe more than him).

We're also really interested in some local Yoga based birthing classes for the really practical and meditative tools we might learn for the birth, obviously money's a consideration as both cost.

Any thoughts or advice that might help our decision would be gratefully received. Thank you

My biggest spending regret so far with my pregnancy is paying for the NCT course. For me and my DH it was an absolute waste of time, venue of the course was horrible, and the course itself was unstructured and all over the place.

I think most of us felt like that afterwards. I guess it depends on your course leader and the venue....I gave my feedback to the NCT afterwards but not had a response...

If it's NCT or nothing/hospital classes I'd definitely go with NCT. Much of the information will be invaluable and even if you aren't natural 'joiners' it's great to have a ready made support network.

That being said there may be better antenatal options locally - I did an amazing class that combined active birth yoga, a couples antenatal course and a postnatal group.

Where are you based?

NCT was great for us and I highly recommend it.

VERY useful advice and fantastic breastfeeding support from a counsellor.

We're still in touch with the other parents now, and meet up every now and then.

Thanks people!

I'm York based. That active birth yoga combined with antenatal and postnatal sounds great squiggley! I must make enquiries about the Yoga birthing classes here. As far as I know there's one 4 hr birth prep for couples then a birth breathing for mums to be but I could also go to pregnancy yoga classes once a week.

I did the NCT classes when pregnant with my first and always recommend it to pregnant friends.

My oldest is now four and I still meet regularly with my NCT group. I did NHS classes too and I have not maintained any regular contact.
When we were on maternity leave the NCT group would meet up each week and we had such fun and laughter despite feeling sleep deprived.

NCT! Defo!

Don't know about Yoga for couples but I did pregnancy Yoga throughout my 2nd and 3rd Trimester and found it great- very relaxing and nice to have some alone chill time.

I would recommend doing both, if you can spare the cash.

I didn't do NCT as the days were not convenient to me. I went to a local HV run baby group and met lots of friends who I still see. I think it is good for meeting people but not essential - especially if you think you would rather spend the money on the yoga - you will meet people there.

I was very happy with my hospital antenatal classes and would have still attended those even if I had done NCT as it included hospital tour for partners, etc.

I was adamant I didn't want to do NCT as I didn't feel I needed to be pushed into making new friends with people I had nothing in common with, other than the fact we were having babies around the same time. However, DH and my sister bullied me into it and I'm so glad I did.

I didn't learn much from the actual course, but the mummy friends I made have proved invaluable. When we were all off on maternity leave we would meet up at least once a week and without them, I doubt I would have made the effort to leave the house. We all shared our worries and concerns, there were frequent tears, moans about our DH's and much eating of cake. It never felt forced and we all benefited from sharing various local baby activities we discovered, such as local baby cinema screenings, baby massage classes, music classes etc etc. We've shared toys, clothes and equipment.

Our babies are all around 20 months now and we still meet up about once a month for girls nights out or Sunday brunch and also babysit for each others DC's which saves a fortune and means we can go out in the knowledge there is someone we know and trust looking after our babies.

I think there is an element of luck in the group you find yourself in, I think my sister's group lost touch after about a year, although she did make one or two very good friends she still sees regularly.

I didn't do NCT - I am in surrey and there was an NHS course that I went to. There were a number of sessions (maybe 5 or 6) so plenty of chance to meet people that you can meet up with after the births.
I actually didn't happen to form long term friendships with anyone from the NHS sessions, but as a separate thing my health visitor happened to give new mums in the local area the phone numbers of other new mums in the area. This proved great - I still meet up with some of these mums 5 years later.
So even if NCT classes do not lead to the support network you are looking for, or if you just want a larger support group, you could speak to your health visitor after the birth.

Oh, BTW, DP has a friend who's wife still meets up with her NCT group every few months. She's now retired and they discuss their grandchildren. :)

Made some really good friends through the NCT classes, but the class itself wasn't that useful - all a bit too focused on giving birth 'naturally', hardly discussed CS which is what I ended up having due to breach.

Would definitely do it again though, just for the friends.

How much are these classes?

I'd definitely recommend NCT classes, I know I've made friends for life though going on that course. Info on courses is available here.

Doing the course really helped my DH understand lots more about the birth process and it was great for both of us to meet other mums and dads who were going through the same thing at the same time. It's great to have a real life "is this normal?!" support network! The babies are all now 15-18 months old and we are still meeting up weekly, changing the day we meet so that everyone can attend once every 3 weeks at least (in a group of 8, 3 are not working, one works full time and the rest of us work part time).

As with all teachers there are some good and some bad - ours was FANTASTIC, really supportive and empowering but we've "adopted" a mum from another group where their teacher was er, rather less good! So worth you asking around locally and seeing if you can get any recommendations.

Worth you doing the hospital one too as that usually includes a tour of the labour ward.

I would definitely recommend NCT classes too. If you are more sociable than DP these are perfect as the emphasis is on the mums being supportive to one another and the DPs can meet if they so desire, type thing. I think this is going to be invaluable when my DH goes back to work!

DH and I are quite funny about forced social settings too but we have found that all the couples in our class (6 including us) are very similar to us and so it doesn't feel forced at all. Though he was slightly reluctant at first, DH has found some parts really helpful and I think he feels more involved in the pregnancy now because there are things HE can be doing to help.

I hope you decide to go and have as positive an experience as we did.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

I really wanted to do nct classes and was all set at £136 only for them to change dates and cost is just short of £200 and I'll be with women due a month before me.

Have decided against them now in favour of aqua natal classes and the joining some local support groups once baby ishere much cheaper and some are free.

I actually don't know many people who ended up doing them but plenty of people who wished they had. I can't justify that money as am changing car too.

Nct for me was fantastic(Im not really a joiner either) I learned alot more than at any of the hosptial classes. The course leader gave me and another lady great support after the birth as both our births didnt go to plan and we were struggling to deal with it, also made two fantastic friends which have stayed friends despite dc now being 9.
Saying that I have heard not so positive experiences I think it really depends on the leader.

I couldn't afford NCT and didn't miss much - especially as there are so many other options to meet other parents. Waterstones sell a "family friendly York guide", I found the breastfeeding support group fantastic (you'll get some info from your midwife or health visitor), there's plenty of playgroups for which you don't have to be a member of any club, and CityScreen has a mother and baby screening every wednesday morning.

Elgoldenflower, if you're in York I'd really recommend Anna Semlyen's yoga classes. I used to go to her normal yoga classes, not the pregnancy or baby ones, but they were brilliantly friendly in a low key way - the only yoga class I've ever been to where the teacher invited me to a party at her house. And she is really well networked in with other organisations and activities around York, so you get flyers and announcements etc. But equally if you decide you don't feel massively socially inclined towards the people there there's no pressure: you can just go and enjoy the yoga class and go away again. I think she operates a policy of trying once to see if you like it before you commit to paying for a whole lot of classes, so you could give it a go and see what you thought.

I didnt do NCT. Instead my local yoga studio (triyoga in london) had a midwife run birth workshop...it was two saturdays for two hours...best course ever. And cheaper than NCT. The midwife was sooo informative, experienced, and I got all the information I needed..she even offers private one to one counselling before or after the birth.

After the birth I did feel a little left out, as there seemed to be a group of "NCT" friends that always met, supported each other...

But I just went to playgroups and such and ended up making my own friends, so in the end I wasnt bothered.

hi. i think NCT was great for us as we were both unemployed, so it was extremely reasonable, and although we didnt 'click' with any one and we were moving away, it was still very informative.the tutor was a bit too 'natural' oriented but very empowering and i wish i'de had her with me at the birth! i run a bumps and babes for the NCT and i have provided a life line i feel for mums in a rural area where there are very few mums and facilities for mums.I would say do the course as if you only pick up one or two vital tips or make one good friend it would be worth it wouldnt it?

p.s. the only course we could otherwise do was very expensive ( in brighton) at a private yoga teachers group; and the nhs well, i think they offered me one session of 3 hours...what can you learn in that time?! i didnt even bother going.

We did NCT classes and I recommend them to all my pregnant friends. 3.5 years after our babies were born there is still a coffee afternoon at someone's house every week. Some of the Mums are back at work full time but meet up with the others evenings or weekends and stay in touch by FB, email and text. The Dads meet monthly at a local pub. Quite frankly without my NCT girls I might have gone completely bonkers in the first few weeks. I notice a few posters saying that you might not have anything in common other than having a baby - that's true but it is also important. Having someone to talk to and cry with who REALLY understands what you are going through because they are going through it too can be a lifeline.

My husband (who is not really into forced social groups either) has found it invaluable too. I think that new Dads can find parenthood and the impact on their life and partner a bit shocking. It helps to have someone who understands and who you can safely moan at without fear of judgement.

We did NCT classes and though expensive (£280!!!) I don't regret it for a second. Our teacher was fantastic, not at all a "natural birth nut" that I was afraid I would get! The information was invaluable, so much more than our, frankly completely crappy, NHS classes. I'm still in touch with all the girls I met and we meet up when we can, one lives very close and we see each other loads and she's been my mummy rock!

I'm sure it's different in different areas but here the NHS classes weren't geared up to helping you create a support network, which was what I really wanted, and the info wasn't that hot either. We had three;
-When birth goes well
-When birth goes bad
-breasfeeding (and that was rubbish!)

I'm now PG again and I'm hoping to do an NCT course for second timers if there is one local. DH will def moan about the money but it's me, not him, home alone on maternity leave so I'm afraid the choice is mine!

Having said that, I've also met lots of lovely people at our local children's centre so NCT is not the be-all and end-all of getting a baby based social life.

Can't comment on NCT classes as unfortunately haven't booked with them - I say unfortunately as I have been to one of the NHS ones and have not learnt a thing, this is not because I know it already either - I don't and would love practical advice and a chance to practice, even if it is with a doll. I think the only thing I learnt was that I should have got a 28 week pack full of information on something?

I didn't do NCT as it was going to be expensive and the hours for the classes were totally inconvenient. So check out what is actually offered in your area - I would have had to go to a neighbouring town about a half hour drive away to get a class at sensible times, but that sort of defeated the point of making local baby friends!

The NHS classes in my area were very good though, and there are lots of baby groups and things around here, so I don't really feel like I have missed out on anything.