How soon did you wait?

[MissCKitty]

I am 32 and my baby girl is 16wks. I had an emergancy section due to pre eclampsia which is just beginning to heal properly. I would love another baby but know cos of the section I will have to wait a little while but don't want to wait too long. I come from a family where there is 5 yrs between each sibling which meant that we were never that close growing up. What is a good age gap (if there is one) that will give me a chance to get over this pregnancy but means my children will have a good bond? How long did you wait?

DS1 and DS2 are 21mths apart. DC3 (when born) will be 23 mths after DS2. Great age gap imo - my two DSs are really close and play together (they are only little still). But you can't necessarily plan age gaps - ours just happened this way, and I think all sorts of different gaps work in different ways.

Just realised the title of my post is really bad English but thankfully wolf you understood what I meant

I have an 11 month old daughter and we have just started trying for another baby.

It's a strange one though - I find it hard to imagine being pregnant and running around after a toddler all day - I was so sick last time - but other people manage right?

If it helps I was very very broody when she was four months and my husband had to convince me to wait a while! Glad I did, even now it seems fairly soon but I don't want a massive age gap.

My boys are 23 months apart and though it was tough in the early days, ie trying to potty train a toddler while bfing a baby, they are such good mates now - they're 4 and 2.

They share a room which they love, and hate sleeping apart. They play together all the time, though they do fight on occasions. If they go anywhere seperately they spend the whole time asking where the other one is! It's great!

There's 2yrs and 2wks between ds1 & 2. There's 4 years between ds2 & dd. then 15m between dd & ds3 and 13m between ds3 & dd2!

I am finding the closer age gaps very hard. For me the 2 year gap was fantastic, toddler is that little bit more self sufficient and made things easier.

Congrats on you dd btw and good luck whatever you decide

I am 20 weeks pregnant, and my ds will be 2yrs, 3 mo by the time the wee one appears. I think this will be a great age gap -I have nephews two years apart and they are really close.

My brother and I are 5.5 years apart and were never close growing up, and aren't really that close now tbh.

I think though, that a gap of less than 2 would be hard work - a close friend has a gap of 11mo between her two and almost went crazy for a while!!

mine are all around about 2 years apart (all c-sections) - 24 months, 23 months, 33 months, 22 months, 23 months - I think I would find it difficult having them any closer than that tbh.

I have 5 years 10 months between my two

I wasn't ready to consider another child (and as I was advised at the time, make sure it is another child you want, rather than the hormonal urge for another baby as yours passes milestones) until ds1 was 3, then it took a little while for him to appear.

Age gap seems perfick at the moment!

There are 22 months between my dc's (both cs's). TBH it is exhausting, but I am on my own and have to work so it's probably bearable for most people.

They are 4.6 and 2.7 now, still very hard work but things get easier little by little. Once DS starts school and DD turns 3 I think they will both seem much more grown up. They do squabble like cat and dog though.

There is 20 months between my two DD's but DD2 was not planned lol. I had a urine infection, was on antibiotics and on the evening of DD1's first birthday I got a little squiffy and we DTD . I have to say i found 2 under 2 REALLY hard but NOW they are 6 and 8 it is an absolute breeze. They play together, love each other ( most of the time ) and to be honest having each other to play with takes a lot of the pressure off of DH and I.

Now however I have decided to upset the applecart by being 28 weeks pg with number 3 EEEEEK !!! So i will tell you how that goes ! I have a feeling it will be harder becuase it will almost be like having an only child as the gap is quite big.

Funnily enough though, there is only 20 months between my sister and I and we do not get on at all. Yet I have a younger sister with a ten year gap and I love her to bits ! Weird huh !

yup i'm with cockadoodledoo, 4 years between my first and second and now pregnant with my 3rd and will have the same age gap. Seems to work for us and personally i know i'd have struggled with 2 under the age of 3 x

I think it's recommended to have two years between births after having a C-section, to minimise risks during pregnancy and birth, just thought I'd add that in case you didn't know the timescales.

Sorry to hijack your post MissCKitty but I think you're the perfect set of ladies to ask about maternity leave for baby number two. I'm still growing baby 1 but always wondered if we went for a small age gap do you still get maternity pay? Or is this something you have to sacrifice? I'm asking this supposing you don't return to work after baby number 1. Thanks x

Newmummy it wasn't an issue I had, but my friend had her 2nd baby the day after she would have been back from maternity leave after her dc1! (13 months between the 2 children) - she still got mat pay 2nd time around because mat leave isn't counted as a break in service.

There are 5 years between myself and my favourite sister. We're very close.