1st timer and clueless!

[Rootatoot]

I think I'm having a slight 'off day'. Just started thinking about all the stuff we're going to need. Haven't bought anything yet and I'm 23 weeks. Got a second hand moses basket which seems ok now I've washed the covers. Very lucky we've been given a cot. So i guess just need bedding for both. But then started thinking about all the various things and realised I don't have a clue. I mean, I don't even know how you dress a baby. That sounds pathetic I know but I've never been around tiny babies and I just don't know.

I've seen 'essentials' lists but think i need a list along with explanations cos I don't know what I'm doing. I mean long sleeved baby gros and the vest type ones. Does one go under the other or is that only in winter?

Breast pumps....electric (seem expensive) or hand pumps (will that take forever?)

Just feeling a bit on my own with it all and a bit stupid for not knowing more at my age.

Hi and congratulations on your pregnancy! You sound a bit down and worried, please don't be. I was a little worried when pregnant with DS (who's now 3) but there's no real reason to be, it's not ticket science and there's no single right way of doing things.

There's loads of threads where people discuss what to buy (re bedding, basic clothing, practical stuff). And the ships will still be open after the baby is born! Plus you'll prob get given things as presents, or poss second hand from friends or relatives? I took loads of advice from friends with babies and, in particular, my sister. Do you know anyone with babies or children in real life?

And of course you can get loads of info on mumsnet. For example, I used a manual breast pump, which was a bit slow but not too bad, and was far cheaper than the electric ones.

Ticket science = rocket science, damn iPhone!!

And ships = shops

rootatoot there are lots of helpful posts on MN this is one of them and I will see if I can track down another I saw. Very helpful for clueless people like me don't panic -I don't know to paste the links so search for this one:

List of things for new baby. (12 Posts)

I felt exactly how you felt when I was pregnant with dc1. I remember thinking I hadn't a clue how to dress a baby - people talked about vests and babygros and bootees, etc and I didn't know which order they went on in. I didn't know how to hold a baby, how to change a nappy and none of my friends had babies so I didn't get any practice.

My advice is try not to worry - as soon as I had my baby holding her came naturally and I just learnt everything else through trial and error (the baby didn't mind)! Re the vests - the long sleeved vests are for winter and you wouldn't normally layer them with a short sleeved vest (I only ever used short sleeved vests myself). If you're planning to breastfeed I wouldn't think you'd need a pump straight away so I wouldn't buy one yet.

Hope some of the other threads on here have helped you - you'll be fine.

If you are really stressing see if your local childrens nursery will let you send a session in their baby room, I used to run one and had lots of expectent mums come and observe and try out chnging nappies without the pressure of the mother wtching - they were never left alone with the babies and they all felt it gave them a head start seeing them fed, put down to sleep , chaged etc. If not really do not worry as the hospitle will show you when the time comes and lot of it will come naturally, you may get pooey hands to start with but those wash and if you put a top on backwards -so what! You need somewhere for baby to sleep, a bunch of babygrows, hat and cardi, nappies, cotton wool and car seat. For yourself loose, binable dark clothing, maternity pads, drinks and snacks and a good birting partner to go to the shops for anything else you may think of. You will be fine honey xx

And don't forget - the shops will still be open after your baby is born. My son was born on a Sunday morning, all his babygrows were too big - granny was in mothercare Sunday afternoon. Maybe try and find new friends also expecting at the same time as you. We went to NCT classes, which are expensive but I thought money well spent (we have all had/expecting/ttc no.2 now and still see each other at least once a week), but NCT also have "Bumps and Babies" coffee groups. My hospital ran a prenting class too, but it was all on one day, so we didn;t really get a chance to get to know each other. It always helps to know that someobody else is up feeding at 3am! A good birthing partner is a very valuable thing to have.

Dont worry - I was clueless too - you learn really fast!

Dressing - babies wear one more layer of clothes than we do. So if you are in a T shirt. They will be in a vest + long sleeved all-in-one. Pop your fingers inside their clothes to feel their chests if they are warm or cold and add blanket if necessary.

Your big dilema is poppers vs zippers. You have to change nappies 7ish times a day!! Zippers are easier but can get caught in the skin (owch)

Dont buy any nice "outfits" - all-in-ones are more practical, especially for the early days, and besides other people will buy you some "cute" stuff anyway (which you will hardly use, because its hard work dressing a newborn in jeans and dress shirt!)

Just get the long and short sleeved all-in-ones, some cellular blankets, muslins and 3 pairs of scratch mits (different brands, in case some dont fit), and a sleep hat for extra warmth if needed.

Pumps - yes hand pumps take forever and electric is better. BUT you wont know if you will end up exclusively breastfeeding/expressing/formula feeding until you have tried and you could end up wasting your money. So either get second hand electric or just manual and wait and see how it works out. I think you do need something on hand because you can ease painful engorgement quickly with a manual pump. You dont want to be struggling learning to hand express when all you want is quick relief. Do buy a microwave sterliser and learn how to use it. Very handy for breast pump, bottles, dummies and toothbrushes and teething rings (later obviously)

I'm a first-timer too, been reading lots of pregnancy magazines and watching loads of baby-related programmes on Discovery Health! I have a niece and nephew who I've practised changing nappies on etc but generally my feeling is if there's something not right, baby will tell you! (By screaming very loudly, obviously!)

I am slightly paranoid about baby's temperature, but my friend gave me a Gro Egg, they are available in Tesco Direct and Amazon for about £20. They change colour if the room's too hot/cold. So when it comes to clothes, think a vest and babygro should do. But my nephew was a 'hot baby', always felt too warm so SIL used to dress him in just a long-sleeved vest if he felt too warm. Plus a thin cellular cover for his moses basket.

Thanks for the advice and support everyone. Silver, I didn't think I was feeling down until this weekend and I have spent much of it in tears. Going to put my feet up today and rest.

Thanks for the info on dressing baby everyone. I feel daft but I feel better that I can at least ask you guys and get help on the obvious stuff. I have my best friend (mum of 2) coming to see me in a few weeks which will be really good. Saw my Mum this weekend too. I don't see her often as I live a long way away. Didn't really get much chance to chat properly about things as she was busy with rest of family. I think perhaps that is what I'm missing a bit and why I'm feeling a bit down. I'll muddle through. Think if I get some more rest then I'll get things in perspective better.

I was thinking/worrying about stupid stuff like how to fit a pushchair and baby and dog in our little ford fiesta the other day. Then was thinking that it hadn't ever occurred to me how you put a baby in shopping trolley to do supermarket shop. I will try and just take things a bit at a time more. Maybe will feel better when I can start getting baby's room ready and feel a bit more organised.

Thanks again. Hope you all having nice easter x