Worried about stress and anxiety affecting my baby, advice needed please :(

[LDNmummy]

Since I have been pregnant I have been extra sensitive to anything negative, even images on a computer (I couldn't look at a picture of a snake the other day - It is really that silly now). I have always been sensitive and suffer from anxiety, I have never been able to watch films like Saw or Hostel as I find them too disturbing (just giving you an idea of how sensitive I can get) and now it is way worse since getting pregnant.

When I had an argument with someone in the first trimester (ex housemate thank goodness), I had a physical reaction to it including shaking and wretching all night with a headache.

Last night DP and I had blazing row. I am also very emotional right now but my temper is the thing that has shot up of late. I can get so angry I become irate and need to leave the room for fear I might throw something at my DP out of anger (I love him so much and I hate getting like this ). He was the one in the wrong yesterday so please do not think I am a big bully, he has subsequently appologised and everything is calm and content with us as we have cleared the air. But I seem to have had another physical reaction. I woke up today with a terrible migraine behind the eyes and a generally throbbing head. I am also really hot (almost as if I have a temperature) and I haven't been able to do much except lie in bed as I felt really weak. I ate two good meals today so I don't think I am ill as it is exactly the same reaction as last time.

I am now really worried about the baby. I am 16 weeks and my biggest fear is that this could have caused me to miscarry or will later on. I don't know how much this is affecting my baby and I have been worried all day.

I am going to try and keep my anger at a low even though it is pretty emotionally charged right now. I also think I am wierd for getting this angry, it is really OTT at times and I don't know if it is normal.

Any advice or experience would be really appreciated.

Pregnancy does affect your moods and can make you more irritable so it's not unusual to be feeling moody and on edge when you're pregnant. Regarding stress, prolonged stress in pregnancy is linked to poor outcomes e.g. preterm delivery, low birth weight etc but only if the stress is intense and prolonged, not the occasional blazing row or upset. Occasional shocks or unpleasant experiences don't carry any specific risk.

I recently had some bad news (am 16 + 4 weeks at the moment) and a shock and went to see my GP as I wasn't sleeping or eating well in the weekend following that. She reassured me with the above information on stress in pregnancy and clarified that as long as the stressful situation isn't prolonged, I have no reason to be worried about the impact on my health or the baby's health. It's definitely unlikely that stress would cause you to miscarry as contrary to myths, most MCs are caused by either chromosomal abnormalities in the baby or a health problem in the mother (e.g. incompetent cervix, viral infection etc) so stress or shock wouldn't really cause an MC.

It's easy to worry though - I've booked a private scan next week to make sure all is OK with the baby since I had this recent shock because I can't help being a bit worried about things even though I know rationally that all should be fine!

Please talk to your MW - she will be able to reassure you, and perhaps point you in the direction of some relaxation classes (or at least some tips) to help you get through the hormonal mood swings.

Good luck.

maybe you were coming down with something as well, so that didn't help with losing your cool/ upsetting you?

anyway, as imp says, there is apparently some research to suggest prolonged stress isn't good, but a few days here and there of being moody and hormonal isn't what they are talking about - i think it's linked to cortisol etc, and so you are probably thinking about that. it isn't anything to worry about in your case - but it would be a good idea to speak to your mw about your anxiety and stress levels (so that you can enjoy your pg and relax, rather than as a medical necessity.)

if it helps, dh got blown up when i was 12 weeks pg with ds1, and given a 20% chance of survival. he was moved by aeromed flight to a specialist hospital unexpectedly for brain surgery (he had a bleed etc) and i went with him. unfortunately i had left dd1 with my cm, as i had had to rush to the hospital, but because they moved him/ us, i then had to call the cm and ask her to keep dd1 indefinitely as i wasn't sure how long i would be away. (dd1 was about 16mos). so then i had to find a motel in a strange city with no transport, and start calling relatives to let them know dh had had an accident and might not survive. (oh, and we were living in canada at the time, so as well as having no babysitters, i had to deal with a time difference). and when morning arrived, i had to go and find a mall to buy some clothes and toiletries, and a pharmacy to buy blardy folic acid. before going back to the neuro ward. his mum and dad flew out the next day.

i was pretty much convinced i was going to miscarry, so i do know how you feel.

but anyway, ds1 stayed put and is 9 now. and dh is still here too, with some corking scars, it has to be said.

i eventually got dd1 back after a week. god bless the childminder.

pg can be rough on the mind, as well as the body, though.

swimming maybe?

Agree with talking to your midwife as soon as you can - hopefully s/he will put your mind at rest. In the mean time try to relax - get feet up, deep breathing, put Classic FM on, anything that will help to sooth the physical symptoms of your anxiety and anger.

And I wouldn't watch Saw or Hostel if you gave me a thousand pounds - I congratulate your good taste!

Hey there. I couldn't come back to this straight away yesterday but was so relieved to read your posts today

I feel so much better and will definitely heed the advice to speak to my midwife.

Thanks for taking the time out to offer advice and explain the risks in regards to my concerns over miscarraige, I was reallly worried but feel more reassured now.

madwomanintheattic I am so at your story. I don't know how you coped but am glad your DH is recovered! That must have been very frightening for you and really put things in perspective for me, thank you for sharing.

Inmyprime I was also thinking about booking a private scan, its so wierd not knowing what is going on in there. I suppose I too know rationally that all is well but can't help freaking out. I am sorry about your bad news and hope your scan goes well and puts your mind at ease.

Thanks again guys!