im scared, really scared

[Claire129]

Hi everyone, just found out i am pregnant with my 4th child and i am really scared. Will I cope, will the other 3 (age 10, 8 and 4) accept the baby and will I be able to cope with them all. WHat are others going to think of us having 4 kids. I am 30 and hubby is 34. We dont have a lot of space but are considering an extension if we can remortgage or get asecured loan and we can get a bigger 7 seater car. I work part time, will I manage a job and 4 kids and a home?? My hubby works full time so we only claim for tax credits to cover childcare etc, just feel so alone coz hubby great support but hes not a woman and a mother. PLEASE can someone help, im crying all the time and feel so alone.

Stop crying, get a grip etc... ect....

Me....Nearly 41, 3 dc's 11, 9 and 8, Dh 36.
Got "surprise"! pregnant last year. Found out shortly after DH lost his job.

Who cares what anyone else thinks?! It's what you as a family think that matters.
We are, possibly in a slightly better position, as we already have a 7 seater, but if you trade in your old car you might get a good deal.
Sleeping arrangements are another matter, 3 bedroom house, no room for an extension, and no chance of moving, however we do have a cellar which only needs a little bit of tarting up, and that will become bedroom 4.

If you are newly pregnant, then you have a year or more before you have to worry about a bedroom for the baby anyway, and plenty of time for any alterations.

Try and think practically. Another baby will mean an increase in tax credits and child benefit. If you give up work then you might get more, but many people keep working no matter how many children they produce. Older children can help around the home and with the baby. (Or mine will anyway, when it arrives)

I bet your other kids will be over the moon about a new little brother or sister. Congratulations!

Its easy to say but I am sure you will be fine. I am pregnant with DC3 and have similar worries, mainly will I be able to cope with 3, how will ds2 react. We have just bought a bigger car so that is one thing down.

My worries are stopping me enjoying being pregnant so I would really try and say put your worries aside and take it as it comes. If only I could take my own advice.

With regards to what will other people think, that is about the least important thing in the world. It is your life, your family and if you want more children why the hell not.

I work in a school and we have a lovely family of 10 children! Who cares what people think?!

I share your coping worries as we planned 2 children and I'm on my 2nd pg - twins - so we'll have 3 kids and I cannot afford childcare for 2 kids so will have to give up work, although we can't really afford for me to, No idea how it'll work and have had some worries but dh and I have decided to go with it all and see what it brings. Very frustrating that dh and I have always worked but will still struggle on one income. It's not like we have a fancy house - just a terrace in a nice area.

Your other kids will probably be excited! Good luck x

Hi claire, I have 5 dc's aged 13,11,nearly 7, 5 & 2.
33w with 6th baby, my dc's wasn't thrilled by sharing a bit more of my time, but now they are so excited they talk non stop about the baby coming, how they are going to look after him, n help care for him! Middle dc has drawn him a hundred or more pictures. We have a reasonable 4bed house, 7seater car, which will be upgraded to an 8 seater when we find one that we like. I was working but am a sahm at the mo, dh works and a bit of taxcredits helps but other than that we manage and are very happy.
Yeah sometimes the kids would like there own room, or the latest gadget out but they also know that they are very privileged in comparison to some children who have all the materialistic things they want but don't have a brother or sister as a best friend and they are never lonely! I love having a big family and would have more if my body wasn't so knackerd! And if you can cope with 3 then you'll cope with 4, it's really not that much harder! Good luck, hope all goes ok for you!