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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

14.5 weeks miscarriage - what went wrong?

14 replies

stmalo · 14/04/2011 08:57

I miscarried at the weekend, I had got up and gone to work and felt fine, then got cramping, I told my DH that the pain felt like contractions, he said I was probably worrying over nothing and I agreed. Half an hour later I was in a lot of pain and my waters broke. We went to hospital, it took an hour to get there, in A&E I was put in a small room and told that a doctor would be in soon, and if I needed to go to the bathroom to ask for a sample pot as they needed a water sample. After half an hour I had a sudden incredible pain, I asked for a pot and looked for the toilet, I got as far as the door and thought I was going to pass out and a nurse helped me in, I knew I had lost the baby. I delivered the baby but the cord was still attached, I was rescued back into A and E, and things went from bad to worse, I heamorraged badly and had to be taken to emergency theatre. I had ERPC, and spent the night in hospital.
I'm totally devastated, I was over the magic 12 weeks, and the week before all my blood tests were normal, no risk of downs, scan was all good, we had told friends and family. I just don't get it. We've been told we can try again, but I'm so scared, I just want to know what went wrong. I know that I cannot go through what happened at the weekend again. I'm normally a strong person, but this has left me very frightened.

OP posts:

hilltop666 · 14/04/2011 09:06

So sorry to hear about your loss stmalo, I can't imagine what you are going through.

I don't know enough to be able to tell you anything but I will say that my doc said to me that if you miscarry a baby theres always a reason why, and it would never have been a healthy baby.

I know loads of people who have miscarried at a lte stage 10-12 wks and have since gone on to have health pregnancies and babies, so it is possible.

Surely the hospital have to give you some kind of explaination for it??

Original poster

stmalo · 14/04/2011 09:09

The hospital said that I will get an appointment in 8 weeks, and they wll have a hystology report, but that seems a long way and my DH and I are worried that we'll be told 'it's just one of those things'.

OP posts:

knackered76 · 14/04/2011 09:09

I'm so sorry for what you have been through and are going through still. It's an awful experience that really shakes your core. Give yourself time to heal physically and emotionally. The miscarriage board here is fantastic with some wonderful women who have experienced so many different things and can really offer words of support and guidance. It took me a few weeks to even think about trying again as I couldn't face the thought of it happening again. It's not a decision you have to rush, take your time and give yourself time first.

jezebelle · 14/04/2011 09:15

So sorry for your loss stmalo :( xx
I had a mmc at 13 weeks, they baby had actually dies at 12+6, so past the magic 12week mark. There was no reason for this, i was told there is a 1-2% chance of this happening and i was just unlucky. I know this doesn't make you feel better but i am now 31 weeks pg again so there is hope xx

fortyplus · 14/04/2011 09:20

stmalo I'm so sorry to hear of your awful experience.

I have 4 friends/family members who have miscarried at 14 weeks and 3 of them went on to have a healthy baby. The only one who didn't had ttc for 7 years and had a healthy baby, then another 7 years and the 14wk mc. So please be optimistic that things will work out for you next time.

PoppysMom · 14/04/2011 09:20

I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through :(

I would hope that they would have an explanation for you as to why this happened.

YummyMummyBella · 14/04/2011 09:27

Hugs stmalo, you must be absolutely devastated. Obviously I'm not a Dr but I have had 3 rather late MC's and so I went and saw a private Dr who recommended I have stitches in my cervix when I next fall pregnant. This is because I found out I have an incompetent cervix, which explained the late MC's. Like you all my scans etc were normal. I am now 17+4 weeks pregnant and have had the stitches and all seems to be well (touch wood). This is the furthest I have reached with my pregnancies so it seems the stitch is doing its job! So please let this be hope for you and inquire about the incompetent cervix. Think positive!

Mum2Pea · 14/04/2011 09:30

i'm so sorry for your loss stmalo, i cannot offer any explanation but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you.

iwasyoungonce · 14/04/2011 09:46

So sorry for your loss.

The thread title jumped out at me, because i also lost a baby at 14.5 weeks. In fact, I got to 17 week, started to bleed, went for a scan and discovered the baby had died at 14.5 weeks. I was sent home for the weekend (it was a Friday) and had an appointment for Monday morning, but in the end I woke up on the Monday with cramps, delivered the baby at home, and also the cord was still attached so had to go in an ambulance to hospital, and ended up having D&C.

It was probably the worst experience of my life.

I wanted to tell you that the pain will ease. You never forget, of course, but you won't feel this wretched forever.

I went on to get pregnant again soon after, and all was well. They gave me extra scans for reassurance. I didn't "relax" til I was about 28 weeks pregnant. And then not completely really.

It's not fair, and i have no idea why it happens. It is unusual though, and is very unlikely to happen to you again.

Wishing you lots of luck and happiness in the future.

Sparklies · 14/04/2011 10:01

I am so, so sorry for your loss and even more sorry for the shocking and sudden way in which it happened.

I hope you do get some answers, but some possibilities include incompetent cervix (although unlikely this early, it is possible) or an infection of some kind. If it was an infection then often the body will reject the baby in order to save the mother and there is very little that can be done to prevent it once the infection has taken hold. It sounds quite likely that this is what has happened and pathology would pick that up.

As to what causes an infection - that's another matter entirely :( Often there is just no way to know, and it would not have been anything you did or didn't do in all likelihood. All the same there are things you could do in subsequent pregnancies to reduce the risks for next time which hopefully the doctors would tell you about.

I hope you can get some answers and recover physically soon.

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 14/04/2011 10:02

stmalo I'm so sorry for your loss . I had to reply to this, I lost my last baby (dc3) to a mmc picked up at my 16 wk check - a scan showed the baby had died at 14 weeks. I had had two uncomplicated pregnancies prior to this, with two healthy children, and had had three scans in that pg at 7.5, 10 and 13+1 weeks. There was no indication that anything was wrong and it was a huge huge shock. My experience was different to yours in that I didn't mc naturally and I opted for erpc rather than induced labour but I know how devastating such an unexpected loss can be.

I wasn't offered any tests, and was in too much of a state to push for them, but now I wonder if that was the right thing to do. So it's good you're being offered some tests. Be aware though that sadly you might not get a definite answer.

I found the mc incredibly hard to deal with; so would say do not underestimate the emotional impact. Take as much time off work as you need. We had also told everyone (having got past the "magic" 13-wk scan) and it was hard "untelling" them, but then actually i found it far easier that people knew what was going on rather than having to pretend everything was ok and I got some fabulous support.

If it helps, I'm now 7+5 weeks pg again and, while terrified at times, very optimistic that we will bring this one home. I know many women - on mn and in real life - who have had late mc with no explanation and gone on to have perfectly healthy pgs and babies afterwards. I have come to the conclusion that, sadly, some babies are not well enough to survive and our bodies deal with that the only way they can.

I hope you are getting lots of rl support and that the tests bring some answers to you. I'll be thinking of you over the coming days and weeks x

Original poster

stmalo · 14/04/2011 10:17

thank you everyone, it's reassuring to know other people have experienced this and gone on to have normal pregnancies. Thank you for all your support

OP posts:

buttonmoon78 · 14/04/2011 12:53

I had a MC, but not that late. Like lots of others, I was eventually able to rationalise it with myself by believing that the baby had not formed enough and may have been lost at a later stage or at birth which I fully believe would have been far more devastating, and I'm not underestimating any pain you are going through now as I felt devastated too.

FWIW, I've since had 2 more healthy children and am now 25wks with #4.

Time is a healer (trite but true), just give yourself time to grieve.

EricNorthmansMistress · 14/04/2011 14:05

I had a MMC at 18 weeks but a 14 week foetus so had ERPC. They couldn't tell me why - which I actually found reassuring - rather it be a freak occurance than something wrong with me IYSWIM. The pain does fade, and when you have a baby (which you will!) you will not replace the lost one, but it will make it easier. I look at my DS and think 'if baby#1 had lived then I would not have had you' - so it makes me feel at peace with the way things worked out.

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