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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Please help me - I feel horrendous.

22 replies

Chocolocolate · 13/04/2011 12:29

I am so nauseous, sick, and very very tired.

On average I am only sick once or twice a day (four times yesterday) so I don't have hyperemesis or anything but I feel awful.

My boss is being very supportive and says I should take whatever time I need and it won't count against me but I feel so guilty.

I feel like I should be able to manage - lots of women do, but I struggle moving around and when I do make it to work I'm really not productive.

I feel like a failure. I should be happy because the symptoms mean a healthy pregnancy and I'm not half as bad as some people, but I can't manage.

Is there anything I can do to help me get back to normal and back to work or is it just a case of grin and bare it?

I thought I was nearing the end of the first trimester and that it'd end soon but a scan revealed I'm 3 weeks behind my dates - so I'm 9+4 today.

How will I handle the rest of pregnancy and motherhood if I can't handle this?

Please help.

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KateeHasABunInHerOven · 13/04/2011 12:38

Go to your GP and ask for anti-emetics... other people have posted in the last few weeks and have said that they take away the constant feeling of nausea, so would be good place to start?

I can certainly sympathise - it should hopefully get better for you (am now 13+3 and mine has gone mostly now) but its horrible and all consuming when its there.

Good luck, and be prepared to fight your doctor, you are entitled to some help!

H007 · 13/04/2011 12:43

Hey,

I was like you last week... Now I have either managed to deal with the symptoms (see dealing with work thread) or they are subsiding I am 8 + 3 and the later is now making me worry. Although before I felt horrendous at least I knew everything was ok.

BikeRunSki · 13/04/2011 12:50

If your boss has said to take all the time you need, then take all the time you need. I am in my fifth week off, at 12 weeks, having been hospitalised twice. I had 8 weeks off and 4 hopsital admissions in previous pg. There will be no more pgs here!

I'd second that you go an see you GP and ask for some antiemetics. IT might be a bit trial and error to find one that works for you, but they can take the edge off.

Please also see your GP if you are so sick you become dehydrated (dark wee).

First trimester pg is by far the worst bit of motherhood. If you can cope with this, you'll be fine.

BikeRunSki · 13/04/2011 12:51

Also, time off for pg related illness can not count against you on your sickness record.

Nicky7611 · 13/04/2011 13:01

You poor thing, I was exactly the same as you were. I didnt enjoy my first trimester at all. Getting out of bed was horrendous, and any spare time I had was spent lying on the couch or in bed.

I really recommend going to your docs and getting some anti sickness tablets. I did and they were the best thing I had. I still felt a little bit sick at times, but they allowed me to eat properly and keep it down, and to make me feel human.

Make sure you get plenty of rest. My OH thought I was putting it on at first, but once I was on the tablets and after he spoke to some of the girls at work he realised its much more worse and started doing everything around the house. Try to get as much help as you can.

Good luck

Antidote · 13/04/2011 13:08

Definitely see your Gp.

In the mean time, try small frequent snacks if you can. I found very salty foods helped. I must have eaten thousands of hula hoops, and more dry roast peanuts than I could now carry! Also, fizzy water works for some people.

It does get better. I found weeks 9 - 11 to be the absolute worst for nausea, sickness and tiredness.

Original poster

Chocolocolate · 13/04/2011 13:24

Thank you for the supportive comments.

I've booked an appointment with my GP for tomorrow morning - I didn't think they could do anything. I didn't think you could take tablets in early pregnancy.

I really hope he can help.

OP posts:

BorgLady · 13/04/2011 13:26

You sound just like me in my first pregnancy, on the border of hyperemesis but not quite there. This preg I went over the line and did get hospitalised and there I was given anti-emetics which have really turned things around. Please go to your doctor and ask for them, they don't harm the baby and they really can help in what can be one of the most hideous periods of your life.

Although I stopped being sick at about 16 weeks in first preg, I never stopped feeling nauseous, and I lost my job because I'd only just started and was still on a temp contract.

Sounds like you have a great boss who understands, but I know what it's like to feel guilt. It does seem as though every other pregnant woman takes morning sickness like a joke and carries on despite it, but really they don't. it hits lots of people very very hard, and even after you stop throwing up you will likely feel low for a few weeks as you get your physical strength back.

Like the poster above, I don't think I will be having any more kids after this one, even though I would desperately like them. Going through this while looking after a busy energetic 2 year old boy has been really hard.

It is worth it in the end, but even knowing that this time, there were moments when I wished I could just click my fingers and not be pregnant any more.

Try not to feel guilty, my poor grandmother was suffering with cancer and going through chemotherapy at the same time I had morning sickness, we used to phone each other up and talk about how we felt and I can honestly say she was able to function better than I was!

Hope that gives you a bit of reassurance that you're not being a wimp. And some hope, too - I read that Kelly Brook was in bed for weeks with morning sickness and hers has disappeared and she feels wonderful now! You might be like that in a few weeks and be able to start looking forward to being a mummy!

nannyl · 13/04/2011 13:37

Hey i know where you are coming from.
You have my sympathy.

I am now 18 weeks, and am less sick (about every other day) but have just started to discover heat-burn... having never in my life had it before. Joy!

I did have HG (and was in hospital etc) but even so i still felt like such a failure.... everyone else seemed to cope with being pg, yet I had 10 weeks signed off
I found weeks 7 - 12 by far the worse (many days i didnt even make it down stairs, sometime i was forced to like when id been sick in bed and needed to stick sheets in wash ), and only left house to drive (the 3 min WALK) to dr / midwife. It was awful and as i say i barely got out of bed (other than to be sick).

I think grin and bear it is the only real solution, although accupuncture did help me to a small extent.

Every other old wives tale, or thing that helped everyone else when pg did nothing at all for me!

Hope you start to improve soon

charitygirl · 13/04/2011 13:43

Trust me - motherhood is easy compared to bloody flipping evil pregnancy nausea.

BikeRunSki · 13/04/2011 13:51

Oh BorgLady my uncle was having hormone treatment and chemo for prostate cancer when I had HG with DS. He would ring/text/email me every day to see how I was doing and to compare symptoms and sickness. His prognosis was v poor and I always knew that in 9/8/7/6... months I'd have the baby and feel better. DUncle, amazingly pulled through, and did the Race for Life on the day DS was born (early). DS is named after him of course!

emmah194 · 13/04/2011 14:58

Hi - I can't really add anything except to say that its ok to admit to feeling horrendous and to give in to it. Your body is working so hard at the moment that its ok to manage nothing more than lying in bed feeling rotten

daimbardiva · 13/04/2011 15:09

Do give yourself a break - especially if your boss is being so supportive. Ist trimester is horrid - and I was only sick twice in the whole htree months, not twice a day! That must be awful!

Keep reminding yourself what a huge strain your body's under at the moment whenever you start to feel guilty!

KatyN · 13/04/2011 16:21

I have had sooo many tears to my DH worrying that I can't cope now so what on earth will i be like when the little one arrives.
I am 9+4 and sleeping 12 hours a day. I'm constantly nauseous although not being sick.
I spoke to my GP who said there was nothing he could do for the exhaustion but I just had to sleep when I needed to. didn't magic away the problem but was REALLY reassuring.

Hope you get some reassurance from yours.. but as is clear from the number of replies... you are NOT alone in feeling like this!
kt

MummyAbroad · 13/04/2011 16:43

REST REST REST!!! Its the only thing that will help. Lower your usual standards with everything. Take time off work, let the house get dirty and dont return anyones phone calls. You are not a failure, if you cant get everything done, but you will feel worse and worse if you keep trying to. Your energy levels will come back eventually but for now you really need to take a break from everything, get some naps in and get your feet up for long periods of time, it will really help.

Hope you get your anti sickness meds, I have just been taking them for the last 4 weeks and they helped lots. I am 10 weeks now and symptoms have dropped off totally - had a scan and all is well so I know its not for any scary reason. I had HG in a previous pregnancy so didnt hesitate to take action this time, I am glad I did, feel much much better now.

best wishes xx

firsttimer84 · 13/04/2011 18:38

hi! I feel your pain! Im 17 weeks now and not been nauseus or sick for 2 weeks now but still get so exhausted and low sugars ( im type 1 diabetic) i can honestly say it gets a little worse before it gets better and better and then its gone. I saw a quote on here that said someones aunt had said the best cure for morning sickness is to sit on the bathroom floor and shout oh please just let me die!! made me feel a bit better about it. Also helps to lie very still, do not feel guilty about it, your boss sounds brill. Mine was good but still counted the sick days against me grrr!!

flamegirl77 · 13/04/2011 19:11

There's lots of great advice above. I'd also add - don't compare yourself to other pregnant women! Everyone has a different experience. Just focus on you and on whatever you can find to ease your symptoms. And congratulations!

TheVisitor · 13/04/2011 19:14

Bleugh. The first 12 weeks can be 'orrible. Even though I didn't have morning sickness, I was so, so tired I could hardly function. Do what your body tells you to do, cos it's actually very clever and knowing what you need. x

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 13/04/2011 21:12

"First trimester pg is by far the worst bit of motherhood. If you can cope with this, you'll be fine"

I totally agree. Being 9 weeks pregnant is worse than any other point in pregnancy, any newborn sleep deprivation, any toddler tantrum...

MummyAbroad · 13/04/2011 22:23

Totally agree breastmilkdoesafablatte and the worst bit is you dont get any sympathy from strangers because you dont look pregnant, and your DH doesnt sympathise because they havent got a clue because they havent got around to reading The Pregnancy Book you bought them yet!

BikeRunSki · 14/04/2011 09:06

You get quite a lot of sympathy from DH second time around if you spend most of the first trimester in hospital first time though.

pod3030 · 14/04/2011 11:02

me too, i so know what you're going through! what's helped me is to surrender rather that soldiering on and feeling awful. reduced the amount i do, cancelled some big shows i was meant to be at (i'm an artist/craft maker) that had me stressing too much.
i remind myself to take it slow, and above all be kind to myself. i'm doing an important job building a baby. I've always walked everywhere and now take twice as long to get anywhere.and that's fine. just factor it in. and conk out whenever you need to! zzzzzzzzzzz

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