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Pregnancy

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Original poster

How can I get my husband to stop smoking?

19 replies

BuzzingNW3 · 12/04/2011 17:55

I am 21 weeks pregnant. I have the most wonderful supportive husband...except for one thing, he smokes.
His smoking is really really upsetting me and I find myself getting really wound up about it. He doesn't smoke in the same room as me but obviously I can still smell it on his breath and his clothes and when i go in the room after he has been in it. Not only does this repulse me but I worry about my health and baby's health breathing in the toxins this way. I also worry about when the baby is born about him holding the baby etc.
I have tried to explain it to him so many times but he doesn't want to hear it and just tells me to stop moaning. I know it's an addiction and is therefore hard to give up and it can only be something that can come from him but what can i do to get him to stop!?! It's really upsetting me and I sick of being angry about it....

OP posts:

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Insomnia11 · 12/04/2011 17:59

I don't know...when you find the secret can you tell me?

I think basically people have to choose to give up themselves, and really want to or have to. My DH certainly won't be told to give up and he likes to think he has thought of an idea himself so nagging certainly doesn't help. Though he never smokes in the house and this is self imposed.

TheVisitor · 12/04/2011 18:00

You can't, unfortunately, and nagging will only make him dig his heels in. He'll do it when he is ready. It took me till the age of 40 to be ready.

woopwoop80 · 12/04/2011 18:01

Thanks insomnia at least I know I am not alone! I was thinking of booking him on an Allan Carr course but I doubt I'd get him through the door!x

mischiefmummy · 12/04/2011 18:09

Someone has just shown me an electronic cigarrette - here: www.theelectroniccigarette.co.uk/

Produces a vapour so they can still inhale but no smell or nasty toxins and also gives a small dose of nicotine which although addictive won't do him any harm.

And...get this....it even glows!!

Solution!! My friend said it has transformed her life. I'm just about to get one for my dad (I'll sell the idea to him by saying he'll be able to smoke in my house, planes and cinemas....which he avoids due to the current restrictions)

Think it's about £25

Dropdeadfred · 12/04/2011 18:09

Sorry, but he should have given up whilst you were ttc. I soylnt gave got pg until he had given up. Would giving him evidence oc the dangers to his baby make him decide to give up now?

Dropdeadfred · 12/04/2011 18:10

Sorry for spelling - meant I wouldn't have

d0gFace · 12/04/2011 18:20

If you're with a smoker, thats just how it is.(well thats how it is for me :) )

Personally I'd insist on him smoking outside and wearing a coat/jumper he can put on and take off, when the baby born. Talk about how you feel with him and explain your reasons.

woopwoop80 · 12/04/2011 21:24

Thanks everyone! I am thinking about getting the electric cigarette and seeing how that goes. Bored of moaning so just have to stick it out and hope when the babies here he'll really try and give up!x

bowlingball · 13/04/2011 21:30

Unless he wants to give up then I doubt you can do anything, if he does want to however, take him to an NHS quit shop - they're really good.

ginmakesitallok · 13/04/2011 21:32

As a smoker (and a smoker who smoked during both my pregancies) - you can't, unless you want to leave him. If it is really important to you then you should leave, because no-one will stop smoking if they don't want to

RhiRhi123 · 14/04/2011 11:03

My Dh smoked and he finally gave up as his new years resolution but found him smoking in the garage the other day :( was really disapointed in him. Then he went to the pub last night and came back reeking. He's not smoking like he was but I don't want him to get back into the habit when DD arrives (5 weeks to go!) I think it's something you should support him with.

I bought DH the alan carr dvd it took him weeks to watch it but eventually he watched it. I'm not sure if thats what prompted him to stop but it might be worth a go. I got it from amazon. Will be much cheaper than a course expecially if it doesn't work.

Plus in my first 20 weeks I really suffered with sickness due to smells and he used to smoke out the front door if he waiting for me when we were going out. This often resulted in me coming out the front door and running back in to throw up! Good luck!

iskra · 14/04/2011 11:18

DP has been giving up on & off since DD was born. He smoked his "last" cigarette when I was in labour, started again when she was 5 months, quit again at 1yr, started again at 1.6, quit again at 2, started again at 2.4... He quit again at the New Year & hasn't started again yet so...

I don't think there is anything you can do really, nagging actually doesn't help at all. In the end I made it clear I wanted him to stop, & left it to him. I used to be a smoker (stopped when pregnant with DD) so do sympathise. I sitll miss it a little.

Joannezipan · 14/04/2011 11:30

You could point out to him that your child will be much more likely to start smoking if one of it's parents smokes...

SelinaDoula · 14/04/2011 11:30

I would insist he smokes outside. It is a risk factor for cot death so may effet if you want him in the room if you sleep with your baby next to the bed or co-sleep (you can exhale carbon monoxide etc for at least half an hour after a cigarette).
I am an ex smoker so I do have sympathy. Has he ever tried to give up?
You may he ill consider it when he sees your baby all small and innocent.
Patches are great!

no1childminder · 14/04/2011 14:25

My DP stopped smoking when we were TTC#1. We unfortunately had a MMC which inturn has made him start again, due to the stress. We are going to start TTC again but I am worried he wont give up again. He went from having a sneaky couple whilst out drinking but its now turned to buying a pack of ten and having them throughout the day. I was so proud of him and I really want him to quit again. Especially as I want him to be as healthy as possible for baby no2. So I feel you, big time!

skorpion · 14/04/2011 15:14

This worked a miracle for DH and a few of our friends a few years ago. The only trick is he ought to want to stop. Good luck.

schmee · 14/04/2011 18:11

Try the Allan Carr book - it worked for me when I wanted to ttc and I was a full-on hard core smoker. I'd position it to say "I'm not going to nag you because I know you know how risky smoking is to our child, but in return I would like you to read this book properly, cover to cover". He carries on smoking while reading it (that's the method) so it's not too threatening.

He will need loads of support and patience when he starts to stop though as he could feel pretty dreadful.

Pootletrinket · 14/04/2011 18:46

DH gave up when I was 6 weeks pg with DD1 (5years ago) because the smell was making me feel so sick. He started by going outside while we essentially fumigated the house, curtains etc and then he went cold turkey.

Imagine my dismay when, over 18months later he started again - never around DD or in the house and was fastidious about handwashing/mouth rinsing when he came in, but has promised ever since that he will quit - "soon". Then I became pg again in August after a year of TTC and this time I wasn't quite as sick so not as forceful and he quit FINALLY 3 weeks ago.

Am also an ex-smoker, but have made it very clear since we started TTC that he would not be smoking still when DC2 arrives. Sounds like I'm not as tolerant as many of you.

He was a grumpy sh1t for teh first week, but got tons better after the first 5-7 days.

jimmijam · 14/04/2011 19:38

hi, i havent read all of this thread, but, i did start a similar one a few months back and got lots of ppl telling me i was being stupid and should just let him get on with it and not try 2 change him. i can c their point tho it did upset me a little at the time. but i just wanted to let you know i'm with u here, if u find the secret, let me know!

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