22wks: Normal to think DH is most unsupportive man alive?

[MEL2177]

Just lately, it seems he's full of empty gestures. He carries on as normal, totally oblivous to my tiredness, rib pain, sleeplessness. I'm convinced he doesn't care and the more convinced I become, the more I push him away.

Vicious circle!

One minute I wonder if I'm over reacting, and the next I'm reminding myself I've always been good a recognising when things are going down hill and that I should accept he's selfish and caring and move on.

Right now, I really can't bring myself to need him. I don't trust him to take care of me, even though I'm struggling. Horrible.

Mel maybe you should actually talk to him about it. He might not know you need a change from him. After all how many times do men get told pg not an invalid! I have found my normally good recognition of the state of play has been compleatly off while i've been pg. I blame it on the hormones!

I'm about the same stage as you - my DH has been supportive but I just think it is really, really hard for them to understand how it feels to be pregnant. I think it's taken quite a lot of explaining from me for him to begin to understand that sometimes I feel fine and other times I feel like shite. Particularly when around this point the bump seems relatively small and by all accounts we should be blooming (blooming? Ha. I feel crap).

Talk to him and give him a chance to catch up.

ah mel no advice, just sympathy. men just dont get it, we think/feel pregnant ALL of the time, and i am convinced that they just forget about what we are having to go through.

my dh is totally useless too, doesnt do ANYTHING to help around the hosue or with dd, even in the early days when i was feeling awful all of the time.

i hope your situation improves

I am now way over due - 11 days... got to say at 20weeks my hubby was CRAP! he had no idea how tired i was and how much doing anything took it out of me. Don't think it helped much that i didn't look very pregnant.

As the pregnancy advanced, he did get better he just needed to see how tired i was it maybe helped when he came come from work a couple of times to find me sound asleep at 6pm, think I might also have had a hormonal rant at him and we chatted sensibly about it too. He helps out loads now.

BUT it is on his terms so i have needed to accept if i ask him to was the floors i need to put the mop out for him to trip over it all day and he gets round to it about 9pm at night!

Goodluck with everything

I honestly don't think men always think about how hard and draining pg is. My dh is fab but I constantly tell him how I'm feeling so he can't avoid it. With this, my second pg, I've had terrible sickness (proper projectile type) so dh couldn't miss it. I have to say I struggled to give him any sympathy when he had a cold and just snapped "well I've had 10 weeks of sickness and still cared for dd1 and gone to work. Now you want me to care for you because you have a sniffle!?"

I was quite horrid - but sometimes you have to remind them.

I do ask him to get me drinks in the evening so I don't have to get up etc and even ask him to pass my glass on the table in front of me that I can't quite reach - he occastionally raises an eyebrow and I remind him I'm carrying his babies (twins).

Definitely talk to dh or write a list of how you're feeling. Good luck