give me your excuses for not drinking but not saying you are pregnant...

[mamaesi]

I am normally quite a wine drinker... I have been invited to so many drinks/ birthday parties etc and I really dont feel comfortable telling people I am pregnant before the 12 week scan.

I have already used "had a late one last night, am too hungover" and "i dont feel so great have a bit of the flu or something"

but now I am going to see the same people...what do I say this time?

My drink was always vodka, lime and soda, so I'd get the lime and soda without the vodka and voila! You just have to make sure the bar staff are in on it if others are buying a round.

I am 7 weeks and didnt want anybody to know before the 12 week scan accept family. I told my friends over the weekend i was on antibiotics and she text me the next day asking if they lasted 9 months haha :)

She knew straight away! not the best excuse especially when your really close friends :)

Sorry - I disagree with those who say no-one will notice. Depends how much of a lush you were to start with IMO! On New Year's Eve when I was 9 weeks friends noticed immediately, though I must say I didn't really mind being rumbled as was finding it so hard to keep it to myself. Did the driving excuse a couple of times before that, but got plenty knowing looks / comments. I think I'd have had to avoid friends I really didn't want to know, as I've never been known not to drink and am never ill so the antibiotics thing wouldn't be convincing. But you can always look coy and not confirm, then everyone will speculate in corners and be really pleased for you if they are real friends, and of course be very sad for you if anything was to go wrong. So my advice is either go into hiding for a few weeks or not drink, offer no excuses and blush and mumble or confirm but say it's a secret if you DO get any comments.

I'm really worried about my 30th in a couple of weeks' time!

We're going out for a plush day of racing and evening meal. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do! I've tried to think of every trick in the book. If I say I'm driving they'll all think my DP is an @rse for not driving on my 30th.... AB's won't work because I'm also never ill and everyone will definitely guess.

My brother and DP will be on drinks watch and will try and get all my drinks for me. One of my friends will insist on champagne and shots (always does) and this has me very worried as they'll be lots of focus when he brings them to to table! I really have no idea at the moment. Any other occasion and I wouldn't be worried..........

People will suspect. If they are polite, they will not say anything. if you then announce you are pregnant in a few weeks, they will be happy they figured it out. if you don't, because something has gone wrong, they will simply assume they are mistaken.

I would pour a glass and nurse it, lose it, pass to DH etc. But I didn't get obsessive and of course people wondered. It's natural. DH and I have often left a party and said, "do you think is pregnant?". It's not malicious or mean and if and when we hear, we are excited and if we don't hear anything we assume we were just mistaken.

Mine, dependent on circumstances, were as follows:

• "I'm on antibiotics" (FWIW no one guessed I was pg when I used this)
• "I've had a headache all day so don't want to mix painkillers & alcohol"
• "We're going to [insert random activity] tomorrow so I've got to be up early"
• "I'm trying to lose weight"
• "I'm trying to save money"
• "I don't feel too great so I think I'm just going to have soft drinks, try & clear my head"
• "I'm really thirsty so I'm going to have a couple of soft drinks first" (by the time you've had two soft drinks, they won't notice / care anymore)
• "I'm trying to keep my blood pressure down" (& even further - "my doctor has advised me to cut down / give up drinking")
• Swapping glasses with DP
• Taking a couple of tiny sips then 'losing' my glass "Oops, nevermind, I feel like a Coke / water / J20 anyway"

i'm just going to stay at home until after my 12 week scan. it's not that much of a trial, i feel like crap so i don't want to go out. lb, the 30th is quite tricky...

Can't you say you're trying to get pregnant, so are staying off booze to increase your chances?

Like others have said, I would never ever ask somebody if they were pregnant. Nothing to do with drinking or not. If somebody hasn't volunteered the info, they don't want you to know so if it's friends you're spending time with, they won't say anything anyway.

It's so weird though. Maybe my friends aren't inebriated enough often enough for it to be a problem. But can a woman really not refuse a drink without being pregnant? My brother sometimes says no thanks to alcohol for no reason other than he doesn't fancy it (and he drinks a fair bit usually when out/celebrating) and it's fine. Most men I know do it when they feel like it. A woman MUST be pregnant though. But all this tittering about antibiotics is probably exacerbating the problem .

AntiBs are indeed a red flag with I'm PG on in large letters.

My SiL (a notable alcohol enjoyer) told me that she felt she was drinking too much so was having a go at sticking to the NHS amounts for a month and that she'd already consumed her weekly quota. Me being a bit dim, I had no idea.

To get through the one party I was worried about I drank one G&T (made by DH) and then topped it up with plain tonic water all night. As others have said, the shock which greeted our announcement said it all really!

One of dh's work colleagues tried the antibiotics line it went...

"Er I'm on an antibiotic. It's called metrodizzynole, you know the one you can't have with alcohol. That one. It's my tooth. I've got a problem with my tooth. It's uh one of the top ones. The dentist gave me some drugs. Metronizzydole I think they're called. Anyway, definitely no alcohol, I can't you see... oh fuck it, I'm pregnant."

There are probably ways of saying it I think.

I was lucky that I found out I was pregnant on New Years Eve, so although I had to "pretend" to drink for one evening (ie. pass all drinks to DH/tip away etc) after that, it was my new years resolution "not to drink"!!!!!

All my friends said "you must be pregnant" which I just laughed off and said that for once, I was just trying out some good old fashioned will power to carry through with a resolution.... we just about got away with it until 2/3 months.

We also just virtually stopped going out! And if we did, I was always designated driver (which wasn't unusual anyway).

Losing weight is a great one though, alcohol is a classic thing to drop on a diet, and it's not a one off like "early start" or "on medicine" or whatever. You can justify kicking the bottle for weeks/months at a time until you are ready to announce.

Congrats by the way!

LB1982 simple get a bandage wrap it round a wrist, ankle or some other limb bit and say you've a nasty cut that requires ABs or a dog bite or something that got infected - remember to act as if it's a little sore but getting much better thanks to medicine. The minor accident could be anything from shutting a rusty gate on your thumb to stepping on a drawing pin or needle. Keep it small, simple and explain you still want to have fun despite being banned from alcohol.

I know a woman who put on a neck brace whenever she didn't want to do something but that' another story.

Make up any old excuse. Nobody will believe you. As soon as I hear 'no wine for me' I think 'pregnant' and I'd say 99% pf other people do, too!

My brother didn't have any wine last night. Wonder if he's up the stick.

I just drank about an inch of beer in a pint of lemonade, looked pretty much like lager? actually, I still do that now when I fancy a tipple and I'm 25 weeks!

LB1982, I bet it'll be so busy on your birthday that no one will notice you're not drinking. Have a glass of champagne to kick off (won't hurt ? plus my friend's French gyne told her champers 'doesn't count' ;)) then just switch to soda water on the sly - tell your DP that he's the only one allowed to buy you a drink. And tell everyone before you go out 'no shots' ? if you're on a swish all-dayer you want to enjoy yourself, not pass out by lunchtime. I think that'll work? good luck!

FWIW, I had to do a boozy X Factor night in with my best friend (made a glass of red last all night and she didn't even notice, even though it was just the two of us round at hers), work Christmas party and family Christmas in early pregnancy, and no one guessed, despite me being a renowned booze hound. Just don't make a point of saying you're not drinking and honestly, once they've had a few, your mates won't notice - and I really thought they would!