Did any of you think pregnancy would never happen for you?

[Cally35]

I am just feeling so despondent as it is one year today (grand national day) siince DH and I started TTC. We had one m/c 10 months ago. It has got to the point where I just can't see it happening for us and I can't imagine growing a bump- partly i think this becAuse my body failed me before I guess. I am not sure why I am writing this post but probably to hear words of hope from other lovely ladies who may have felt like this before and now are pregnant.

Hello, my situation is slightly different to yours, in that we already had two DDs. However, we desperately wanted a third - the yearning was as great as it was for our first. When we started trying for DC3 it took ten months, followed by a mc at 3 months. We tried again for 5 months, got pregnant and then mc again at 3 months. We started trying again and I was getting to the stage where I thought enough was enough and, despite the longing, we would have to give up. Lo and behold, after 10 months of trying I got pregnant again. I'm now 25 weeks and all seems well.

I don't know whether this helps or not. All I can say is that you are most definitely not alone in feeling as though it may never happen. For some people, of course, it doesn't but for the vast majority it does eventually. I had one friend who tried for her first for over a year and then got pregnant the first month of trying with her second.

Keep going. You will obsess, it's impossible not to, but just make sure you have lots of sex (don't stop too early in your cycle - I think that's what made it harder for us as it turned out I ovulated later than I thought, despite me 'tracking' my ovulation) and look after each other. If sex feels like a chore then don't force it. I feel for you. It's taken us 3 years to get to this stage and I know how all-consuming it can be.

FWIW, when I had both mcs, I didn't think of it as my body failing me. I thought that, although it was dreadfully sad, my body was doing exactly what it was meant to by not continuing with a pregnancy that was non-viable. Our bodies are clever.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I can't say you'll get there, because who knows, but the chances are good.

Take care.

1998 we were just starting to try for a baby when I was diagnosed with a serious long-term illness and told I would never have children. I had to wait for 2 years for my condition to stabilise enough for me to be able to stop taking the medication so that I could start TTC.

We TTC'd for 2.5 years during which time I had several MCs, DH and I had fertility tests and I took Clomid (unsuccessfully). Finally I had a full-term pregnancy and my DD was born at the end of 2003.

We started trying for DC2 at the end of 2004. Two years later I had an ectopic pregnancy. My right tube was removed and I was diagnosed with endometreosis which had damaged my remaining left tube beyond use. I was told I would never have another child naturally.

In 2007 we had a round of IVF and my DS was born in 2008.

It took 10 years of trying for us have our two children. 10 years of trying, charting, BFNs, BFPs, knicker-checking and failure. I had to have conversations with my DH which destroyed us both and which I never wanted or expected to have to have. I think, with hindsight, that the emotional toll has been higher than I realised. It wasn't until I had problems and started to talking to people and joined some forums that I realised how common these problems are, and how many women have difficult stories to tell - you are not alone.

I don't have any advice, expect to be kind to your self. Good Luck.

If you've been trying for a year can you go and see your doctor and see if you can both get checked out? I know of several people who've had problems conceiving and it can be reassuring to know there's nothing 'wrong'. And if you do need a bit of help then it's best to get the ball rolling asap.

I tried for eight years to get my baby ( I am now 17 weeks pregnant). I had just given up and had decided after my second neice was christened in November to go back to uni this year and decided that it would never happen. I had lost 7 stone since August 2009 and I guess that was what did it.

I have to admit I still don't believe it has finally happened and even looking at my bump or at my scan pic or listening to the heartbeat it still feels rather surreal.

I'd definately say don't ever give up.

Yes, I frequently worried that it might never happen. I am 37 weeks pregnant now, and it took 16 months of trying and I know that it takes a lot longer for some people. After just over a year I went to see my GP who referred DH and I to a specialist. He told me I have PCOS, which is something I have always suspected, and started me on Clomid. If you have been TTC for a year, you could also try seeing your GP to see if there is a reason or anything that might help. Don't give up though. I also found the Conception board on here to be great support for the times I thought it would never happen.

Yes. I was told by two different consultants that I was unlikely to conceive naturally. I had three gynae ops in 14 months, I miscarried following the second of the ops and unexpeectantly had an ovary and tube removed during the third. Then, completely unexpectantly, I got pregnant two months later. Never say never! I'd get to a docs & get checked if I was you though. Good luck!

I can't speak from personal experience as I was told I would never conceive naturally so stopped contraception thinking it was not needed (I wasn't actually TTCing). I unknowingly had a miscarriage 2 months later, then got pregnant with my DD 2 months after that. I know I was incredibly lucky. I kind of think that not being bothered about it may have helped iyswim.

However, I know lots of people who struggled to conceive but did get there. I only know of one couple who haven't yet managed it.
DP's best friend and his DP tried for about 3 years before conceiving their first, then only tried for a few months before conceiving their second. It turned out she had PCOS and the medication they give women with PCOS to help them conceive worked really quickly for them.
My aunt and her DH tried for 15 years, had lots of tests, 3 rounds of IVF, then before their 4th attempt at IVF they booked a long holiday to relax. It turned out she went on that holiday already pregnant.

I think after a year it's worth going to your GP and getting the ball rolling with tests etc, but try to remember this is completely normal and there may not be any issues. Maybe you could try a fabulous holiday too, then you can relax and have lots of sex! Even if it doesn't work, you will have had a bloody good time!

I hope it happens for you soon. Good luck.

Definitely yes. I have PCOS and we tried for years and were waiting for fertility treatment but I needed to lose weight first. But suddenly I was having regular periods so I thought something must be happening properly with my body, we tried for three months and I was pregnant.

I had known I had PCOS since I was 16 too so I was always pretty cautious about believing I would be able to have a baby.

DS is now 5 months and gorgeous.

I was TTC for 14 months before finally falling pg. It was as soon as I had gone to the doctors and started tests, booked an exciting non refundable trip to NYC for August and bought a ticket to see take that in July. Now 25 wks and bubs due mid July!

I felt like it would never happen for us, everyone else around me seemed to be pregnant and it was hard going, but on the plus side, once we did get the BFP we were so ready for it. Friends of mine who'd been trying and fell pg within a couple of months were in shock, not feeling like they'd given themselves time to get used to idea first.

Definitely go and see your doctor though, I think it helped to feel like I was doing something about it.

Oh God yeah, im there now.

Took 3 years to get ds and we have been trying for 16 months now.
(16 months since my 5th & last mc)

I have now accepted that i will never have another child, i will never have a + pregnancy test and that is that.

It is probably the hardest thing i have had to swallow in my life. But there isnt any thing i can do now.
sucks big tme.

Yes.

Nearly 3 yrs ttc to have dd1, then another 3yrs ttc for dd2. Then a 'surprise' pregnancy at 40 with ds.

It's probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It seemed at the time that every other women I met/knew seemed to get pregnant without trying.

yep, came off the pill in 2007 & after a year of irregular cycles (2-4 months) and being told by my GP I'd have to wait another 2 years before they'd investigate we thought our chances were looking pretty bad, but I sorted my cycles out (acupuncture) and started charting and fell pg 3 months later

As we're both in our late 30s we thought we'd better not wait too much longer to try for #2, so as soon as DD was 6months we started TTC again. Had 2 MC in the next 12 months, went to see my new GP who did get me some tests, discovered I had an underactive thyroid (possibly the reason for the irregular cycles in the first place) and then fell pg again. I'm now 39wks

Like prinpo says, I try not to think of the MC as "failures" - those pgs weren't meant to be & my body was doing the right thing not continuing with the pgs. Very sad, but not something I see any point dwelling on.

I found the conception boards on here to be really useful & supportive. I would also recommend this book to anyone TTC

In total had ttc for 2 and a half years. In that time I had 2 losses, the first devastated us (was mmc at 7 found at 9weeks) I thought I would never carry.

My regular body suddenly decided to ovulate irregularly so
I started tests and investigations to find out why I was not ov-ing.

I had to wait ages for referral. I finally fell pregnant agaon during my first set of investigations! I am now 26 weeks and constantly have a fear that I will lose baby or something will be wrong.

Don't give up hope it will happen for you. I bought the clearable ovulation monitor (not the sticks I thought they were rubbish) and that helped me realise when was ov-ing....which was 2 days out from when we were doing the deed! I really recommend that. I did ov jut I skipped some months but would never have known If I had not had blood tests or been using the monitor. If can answer any questions please feel free to pm me.

Funnily enough all 3times I've fallen pregnant I've thought sod it I'm not really trying this month and just enjoying life(few too many vinous and friends nights!) but shows that when you do really switch off..it can help. Hubby and i decided not to worry about it this time round (i did continue to use monitor vut no charting, obsessing, leaping on hubby on peak days etc!)

One other thing I will say is for those that have losses or trouble conceiving, you truly appreciate it more in my opinion when it does happen. You just never stop worrying!

Hang in there, your own own wish will come true. xx

Excuse typos and odd words...predictive text!!!!

I too have PCOS and we were TTC for 3 years and most definitely thought it would never happen for us. In fact, we had just decided to apply for adoption when i found out i was pregnant - without fertility treatment.

My gorgeous DS is now 5 months old and i feel so blessed when i think about how far we've come.

Thank you ladies for such heart warming stories. It sounds like many of you have been through the mill and even against the odds got there. I will endeavour to perk up about things. I have a bunch of tests and scans coming up so perhaps this will show something. For all those who are pregnant - good luck!

Yes, pre-Asherman's I seemed to be able to fall pregnant easily -- even taking the pill. Sadly, even though I weas trying, and didn't know I was pregnant in one instance, I MC.

The D&C treatment for the second mmc left me without periods yet with period paing and chasing doctors in London for a diagnosis for several years. I ended up self-diagnosing Asherman's -- which as you can imagine, didn't go down well with a few doctors. I was recommended to have surgery abroad.

I was now 36 years and beginning to give up hope. The odd foray to support forums for Asherman's was very bleak reading.

I moved to Asia, within two weeks of relocating had booked surgery with a wonderful ob/gyn who had great experience with Asherman's surgery (basically internal scarring and adhesions from a rough D&C and my uterus had effectively stuck together and cervix had adhesions all over it, so no periods but still ovulating as normal. Had surgery, had a year of HRT to rebuild the lining and an IUD to

Still was very apprehensive about getting pregnant as was older now and risk of mc very very high.

Got pregnant the second month and had my daughter.

I was demand feeding her until 21-22 months until I got another period, but from then, decided to try for another and got pregnant the second month we tried. Am about 22 weeks along. Will give birth just before my 40th!

Very best of luck. I'd all but given up.