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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Oh my Lord, I have just looked ... christ ...

26 replies

PeekAndRegretIt · 06/04/2011 15:29

down there, y'know.

Am weeks away from 4th child.

It looks like someone has ran over a very grey elephant with a truck then rolled the squashed elephant along the floor of an unswept hairdressers.

Christ on a bike.

Am not looking forwards to getting THAT out on the big day!

OP posts:

ilovesprouts · 06/04/2011 15:31

KittyChat · 06/04/2011 15:40

Original poster

PeekAndRegretIt · 06/04/2011 15:44

Thats the face I did kitty!

OP posts:

nunnie · 06/04/2011 15:51

You don't have to look at it on the big day though, squashed elephant or no squashed elephant you can ignore it.

I lloked like I was giving birth to Amy Winehouse I shaved but didn't trim.

nunnie · 06/04/2011 15:52

As long as it doesn't smell like a decaying elephant of course

clouiseg · 06/04/2011 16:09

I absolutely roared when I read this...just when I needed cheering up at 35 weeks with my fourth!! Soooooo funny...and TRUE!

Just think...if we looked like that pre conception we probably wouldn't be having this chat now coz I sure as 'eck would't have let DH near it

everlong · 06/04/2011 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wobblyweeble82 · 06/04/2011 17:13

I have the best midwife. She advises all her ladies not to have a gander down there from 12 weeks in until 12 weeks after, and even then in a dimly lit room with a fogged up mirror ...

nunnie · 06/04/2011 17:21

I have to agree everlong, I don't think they are attractive, neatly trimmed, swollen or not, bald or hairy, infact the less I see of them the better no intention of looking at mine again, did it once as advised when I was 15 and screamed with horror, don't quite know what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't that!

Squashed elephant or no squashed elephant, man in a kayak rowing down a canal, Barry Gibb, or whatever you wish to descibe it as, it is just one ugly thing covered by curtains that should remain closed, it is better not to look, unless it's your job

CBear6 · 06/04/2011 18:58

I didn't even realise it looked any different during pregnancy until I read this! I'm now in that awful dilemma about whether I should or shouldn't look ......

rasta · 06/04/2011 20:08

Wow that was graphic

buttonmoon78 · 06/04/2011 20:49

Don't do it Cbear6!

I had to look a while ago as I thought I'd had a prolapse (turned out to be a varicose vein) and now I can't not look. It's like a bad car crash. You know you shouldn't but you can't help yourself.

My only consolation is that I'm only 23ish weeks, my belly's growing daily therefore I won't be able to see much longer anyway!

Labella77 · 06/04/2011 21:22

I've gotta look now. I'm not looking forward to this...

Perpetuallypregnant · 06/04/2011 21:28

I wouldnt dare look
Am a month away from having my 5th! I agree they are ugly at the best of times. I looked once and decided i coukd never ever be a lesbian :o

Dont do it girls.... Leave it to the pro's!

witches · 06/04/2011 21:33

haha I always thought mine was quite neat and tight but i am under no illusions that after this lovely baby delivering process it will no be no longer sigh

buttonmoon78 · 06/04/2011 22:10

it's what they're paid for after all PerpetuallyPG!

CBear6 · 06/04/2011 22:14

I told DH about this thread and when I was stripping for the bath he offered to have a quick look. I pointed out that almost a decade of togetherness does not entitle him to take a look at my undercarriage just in case it's wrinkly and grey like an elephant. He told me that he's seen a baby come out of it and will see another one coming out of it at some point in September.

I told him to eff off, put on my frumpiest flannel jammies, and vowed to keep my bits out of his sight for the next few months.

Very scared of the contents of my knickers now.

whysolate · 06/04/2011 22:21

Peek! Bloody hilarious! Read it out to DH, Sorry!

Labella77 · 07/04/2011 07:02

Bunnyjo · 07/04/2011 10:12

I tried to do a DIY 'hedge trimming and strimming exercise' on Monday at just over 33wks and I don't think I'll be doing that again in the near future! Aside from being unable to see any of what I was trying to do, it was nigh-on impossible to contort my more rotund self into a position to be able to actually reach down there!

DH has offered to help 'maintain' my lady garden and I have to admit I am seriously tempted to take him up on the offer - no amount of money the mw's get would compensate them for having to go down there when it is 'au naturel' and I am not sure beauticians are paid enough to have to deal with the horrors either

Oh and ladies, do NOT look - spare yourself the horror! It will, at some point in the very distant future, return to some semblance of normality. Then, and only then, is it safe to look again!

ConstanceFelicity · 07/04/2011 10:19

Barry Gibb! Barry Gibb! Oh my God! I am in fits! My downstairs shall forever be known as Barry Gibb from this day on... Thank you for the christening (and the fits of laughter) nunnie!!!! :o

LittleMilla · 07/04/2011 10:21

I'm 37+5 dared to sneek a peek last night whilst dealing with the ingrowing hairs and was HORRIFIED.

I used to be fairly happy with my fanjo - neat, tidy and as pretty as they can ever be. But the elephant's bottom description is so apt! It's as if it's aged about 40 years or soemthing!? Heavens. Why such an unpleasant and unhealthy shade of gray?

And I have booked for a posh wax at the bliss spa on Monday...I am going to be quite embarrassed now.

mummysweeangel1 · 07/04/2011 14:07

OMG OMG OMG , i am in an actual FIT of laughter at this post- has totally cheered me up -

i am 27 weeks and can still just about manage the "trimming and strimming"- but remember when i was having my first child and i got induced two weeks early- (last minute decision) and by god it must have been such a horrible shock for the poor midwife having to be down there - it looked like something out of a 1970s porn film (not that i ever watch those )

its bad enough looking at the best of times

anyway you have all cheered me up - so many funny posts on this thread- absolutely LOVE it !!!!

Renaissance227 · 07/04/2011 14:18

I'm eleven weeks on, in an office that do not know my secret and just laughed out loud at these posts!!!!! Had to make something up fast!

So far I'm not looking too bad but not sure if I will look again after twelve weeks! Why does it start to look so horrible. Can't imagine how many people will be having to look at that between now and the end of all this. What can I do? or is there nothing I can do?!

humph123 · 07/04/2011 14:51

that is the FUNNIEST thing i have read - really has cheered me up as i'm feeling bit ropey today :-)

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