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Original poster

co-sleeping - is it safe?

37 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 05/04/2011 17:03

When I had dd 3 years ago my mw and hv went crazy when I mentioned that occasionally we had dd in our bed as she really didn't sleep for 4 months. With twins I'm ready more and more people saying they co-slept with the babies and it seems the norm. HVs even seem to support it with twins. I just don't get why the advice is different for twins than singles on this matter.

I'm looking at ways to get through the bad nights sleep we have coming. Any tips.

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EauRouge · 05/04/2011 17:18

Some HCPs are dead against co-sleeping whereas others are more accepting. The first HV I had was fine with it but another reacted as if I'd been dangling DD1 over a pit of crocodiles.

I don't co-sleep with twins but with a toddler and a newborn so similar but not exactly the same. I think it's safe if you follow all the guidelines and if you are planning to BF twins then co-sleeping may just save your sanity! You could get a side-car cot or modify a cot bed if you want a compromise on co-sleeping and having the DTs in their own beds.

I haven't read this book yet but it comes very highly recommended. You might find this article helpful as well.

clouiseg · 05/04/2011 17:21

In my profession we support co-sleeping to encourage successful breastfeeding, in line with current UNICEF co-sleeping & bed sharing guidelines (google for more info). However although the majority of the advice is aimed at singletons, there is advice out there for twins too. Have you tried to post in twins club (antenatal threads I think) to ask advice there too? Hopefully there will be mums with personal experience? Just a suggestion, hope it helps.

RitaMorgan · 05/04/2011 17:24

I was shown how to co-sleep safely by the midwives in the hospital. First HV visit and she said told me it wasn't safe When I told her what the midwife had said, HV said "oh it's probably changed and is fine now then!".

silverangel · 05/04/2011 17:26

Princess - we are planning on getting an arms reach co-sleeper - I dont know how to put a link in but google it - it seems like the perfect solution to me:)

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 05/04/2011 17:28

Thanks so much. I have posted in the twins thread too. Not sure I'll bother spending much time with hv unless she impresses me in the 1st few minutes!

OP posts:

Sparklies · 05/04/2011 17:44

If done properly, it's very safe. Probably a lot safer than sitting up with baby in a regular chair and passing out through exhaustion.

We never intended co-sleeping with DC1, but she had other ideas. After several nights spent with her on our chests desperate for sleep, we looked into co-sleeping properly and safely and never looked back.

With DC2 we didn't even bother pretending she would go in her crib, and invested in an Arm's Reach co-sleeper (as silverangel mentioned) and it is fantastic. It would have been even better if there wasn't a raised bit between the bed and us, but it does get back some precious bed space.

DC3 will be going straight in the co-sleeper too.

DC1 (now 4) has been sleeping happily in her own bed for a few years now, and DC2 (now 2) spends most of the night in her own cot. So no worries about getting them out.

Midwives and health visitors ARE very varied on their opinions. I don't tell them generally as I'm sick of having to defend myself even though all the research and evidence says it is fine if done properly.

BertieBotts · 05/04/2011 17:53

It is indeed much safer than passing out due to exhaustion - sofa sharing is the biggest cause of cot death now IIRC? And often because parents are told they must not ever have their baby in bed :(

But yes if you co-sleep safely it's just as safe as the baby sleeping in a cot.

slowshow · 05/04/2011 17:58

I have my eye on the Bednest crib - it looks perfect.

www.bednest.com/

RitaMorgan · 05/04/2011 18:09

I had a Cosatto bedside cot - found it great as it's a full size cot so could move with ds when he went into his own room.

Beesok · 05/04/2011 18:10

Hi everyone - I like the idea of co-sleeping but I think I would be too scared to do it myself so thought that the crib next to bed option would be a great compromise for us - was thinking of getting this one from John Lewis:
www.johnlewis.com/231015150/Product.aspx

I like the fact that it has wheels so can move baby around the house with having to wake him/her up

Do you think this is a safe option? I read on some website that cots with side down are not a safe option because of risk of entrapment? But surely if the cot is tightly fixed to the bed then it's fine?

RitaMorgan · 05/04/2011 18:13

I put a rolled up blanket down the farside of the cot mattress so it was pushed up against the bed with no gap.

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 05/04/2011 18:23

I think we might get a cot with a drop down side as dd1 grew out of her basket so fast and hated it, plus I want to twins to sleep together after they're born. I really wanted a cotbed so it would be even bigger but I can't see any with the drop side to go with co-sleeping.

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Zimbah · 05/04/2011 19:37

We have this cot used for DD1 and will for DD2. To make sure there were no gaps we fixed the legs to our bedframe with cable ties, and then pushed the cot mattress against ours and wedged it with a length of foam pipe lagging wrapped in a sheet between the far side of the cot and the mattress. Our bed was against the wall on the other side (handy for when DD old enought to move around) and we wedged thick wool blankets between our mattress and the wall to stop it moving away from the cot mattress. Worked really well. The fact bed was against the wall on the other side meant that once DD was mobile I was still able to sleep safely with her if DH wasn't in the bed as I could position myself width-ways on our bed to make four sides!

BertieBotts · 06/04/2011 11:37

A cotbed would be perfect - they are made to stand up without the fourth side, so no need for a drop side, just remove it completely. If you have room I'd definitely go for that.

It's worth looking when you're looking at different models to see how the base goes in - if it's just a case of drilling extra holes in the ends to raise it up, that's perfect. Just make sure the legs go straight up into the head/footboard of the cot with no tapering inwards.

Then to secure it you can use bungee cords or any kind of rope (TBH I didn't know about this step, I just checked it every night to make sure it was close enough with no gaps) - and slide the cot mattress over so it meets your mattress, and plug the gap on the other side with tightly rolled up towels or cotton blankets or stiff foam or anything else that is fairly solid and won't be a suffocation hazard.

The only thing with a cotbed is it means when you want to move DC into a bed, if you're still co-sleeping by then you won't be able to get in bed with them to settle them. But if you only want to co-sleep short term in the beginning then that's probably not an issue! :)

Woodifer · 06/04/2011 12:11

could someone summarize the guide lines or post a link i just did a quick google but got a bit confused

RitaMorgan · 06/04/2011 12:16

Here is the FSID/Unicef co-sleeping leaflet

Woodifer · 06/04/2011 12:49

Thanks Rita

nunnie · 06/04/2011 12:53

With my 1st I was told it was a definate no no and not safe. With my 2nd last year I was actively encouraged to by the same midwife and health visitor.

I'm not sure if anything changed in that time, or just their opinions on it.

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 06/04/2011 14:11

I'd just convinced dh to get an Arms Reach cot but now Bertie's comment is making me thing about plan A with a cotbed. I was thinking a cot bed and a cot (which we have) would mean we could stagger the cost of buying beds for the twins - thinking ahead!

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 06/04/2011 15:25

Staggering cost is always a plus point - but if you were going to go for bunk beds, might work out more expensive?

ilovesprouts · 06/04/2011 15:26

never had ,never will

MrsMogwai · 06/04/2011 16:37

I have everything set up to co-sleep with my baby when she arrives sometime in the next couple of weeks. When I first heard about co-sleeping, it just sounded so practical and right to me. Hope the baby thinks so too.

The book "Three in a Bed" by Deborah Jackson is a really good read for anyone wondering about why or how to co-sleep.

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 06/04/2011 18:03

Can't use bunk beds until kids are 6 so I plan to have them in beds before that! I'm thinking one can be in cot bed for a while and the other could have dd1's bed so she could have a captain's bed (if she wants one). Space isn't too much of a problem.

OP posts:

Crystyclear · 06/04/2011 18:51

i co-sleep with my LO - he's 9 weeks and has never slept overnight anywhere other than my bed. study out today demonstrates bf and co-sleeping combined lead to better night's sleep for mother and baby.

Woodifer · 07/04/2011 10:01

With co-sleeping does it mean you don't nappy change every feed?? what about burping? I am not a parent (yet) but books/ people seem to say you feed, burp nappy change (and that's why it takes so long to get back to bed.

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