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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

would you be happy with your DP going 90 mins drive away for a boozy boys night out when you were 3 weeks to due date?

26 replies

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 14:18

DP goes every year with his mates to a boozy weekend sesh about an hour and a half's drive away (they usually travel Sat am, drink Sat evening while watching some football final match, then sleep till noonish on Sun and travel back after eating their own bodyweight in McDonalds or some such crap)

This year the event falls three weeks before my due date. These guys have all been mates for years but rarely see each other all together much now other than at this annual do and I know DP enjoys it and really wants to go.

I'm more than happy with him going but he is nervous as DD was a week early and he's worrying that I'll go into labour when he's away and probably a bit drunk. He doesn't drink heavily but would be unable to drive, but I've said worse case he could get public transport or a taxi home, it's not likely that my labour will last less than 90 minutes.

I'd feel bad if he missed out on this chance to see his mates but understand that he's nervy (it's my second child but his first).

Funnily enough he has also arranged to go and spend a night drinking with his brother the weekend before this who lives 2 hours away, so he's ok with me being 36 weeks while he's away but not 37 weeks I wonder if actually he's feeling guilty about having 2 sat night sessions in a row when I'm heavily pregnant, not that I'm bothered!

WWYD?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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nunnie · 05/04/2011 14:21

I wouldn't have been with my last one, but he then decided to come 4 weeks early so with this one, I would probably mind.

In saying that, DH works 2 and half hours away so if I labour during the day then I will have to get there myself. He isn't allowed mobile phone on site either for security so it could be fun and games for us

Renaissance227 · 05/04/2011 14:22

If you're not bothered and he usually does it I wouldn't mind. Chances are you wouldn't go into labout that early and it's only a weekend.
Tell him he should go as it'll be the last time in a long time!! x

Renaissance227 · 05/04/2011 14:22

sorry... i meant labour!! Having a really bad day here!

Original poster

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 14:22

we're planning a home birth if that makes any difference

OP posts:

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 05/04/2011 14:23

If you're okay with it tell him to go. 90 minutes isn't the other side if the world and he can't get back if you promise to call him at the slightest twinge!

iwasyoungonce · 05/04/2011 14:25

I wouldn't object at all. Very unlikely to happen that weekend. Even if it did, he's only 90 min away.

Pagwatch · 05/04/2011 14:26

Blimey. Yes I would be. Dh was in south Africa 3 weeks before ds1 was born.

Joannezipan · 05/04/2011 14:29

Really it is his decision what he wants to do. He caould always go and not drink so he can get home in a hurry if needs be. Maybe you could arrange someone to stay over with you so if something does happen he knows you are not alone and doesn't have to panic about getting back. The worst thing that could happen is that you go into labour and he decides he is "okay to drive". As long you come up with a plan to avoid that scenario you are golden!

Bratfink · 05/04/2011 14:30

This is interesting and topical. In your circs I think I'd be fine with it, he could get in a cab and be back within a couple of hours if necessary. As long as you feel ok with it I think it would be fine

My DP has been invited for a good, but not best iyswim mates stag do in Barcelona 3 weeks before I am due. On the surface of it I'm fine with it. But as I grow larger I am starting to think that being 8 and a bit months pregnant in the (hopefully) heat of summer, with a two year old to run after might not ve the best tome for him to be away. Oh and DS was 17 days early. Will be interested to see thevresponses to you OP (and then steal them for myself)

Original poster

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 14:33

he would never do that Joannezipan

and I'm not alone, family and friends are all nearby

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LauraNorder · 05/04/2011 14:37

Yes I would be fine with that. It happened to me with DD2. DH went to a big dinner 2 weeks before I was due. He was making a presentation, it was an important night for him. My parents came over to me for the night just in case. Overnight it snowed - heavily!

DH was snowed in where he was, I was supposed to go into hospital for a pre op assessment prior to a planned CS the following week but my dad couldn't out of our close. Phoned the hospital who said it was fine as hardly anyone staff or patients had been able to get in that morning anyway.

Settled for a snowball fight and a gentle day with the children and my mum and dad - and then I went into labour

Original poster

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 14:38

I think if it was abroad I'd be less keen but it's not far away at all really

Just wondering if I'm being naive too laid back about it or if others thought the same

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Original poster

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 14:39

did he get back in time Laura?

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LauraNorder · 05/04/2011 14:41

It was lunchtime and a couple of hours since it had stopped snowing. DH had decided to attempt to come home and made it just in time. The RAF were about to come and get me in, DH decided to give it a go in our car and we were fine. All a bit scary for a little while though!

Original poster

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 14:43

blimey!

well this will be in May so no snow (well I hope not anyway!)

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SnapFrakkleAndPop · 05/04/2011 15:06

If it makes you any better I'm 38+4, DH has been just abroad for 10 days with no way of getting back if anything happened! I'd be very relaxed about 90 mins with a planned HB and good backup

clouiseg · 05/04/2011 15:09

DH is a lorry driver and is usually 5-6 hours drive away at best. I'm 35w with DD4 and home alone with 3 DDs 99% of the time.

I'm constantly worried about what would happen if I go into labour but just praying LO holds on til my ELCS! It would be a minimum of 5 hours to get DH back but he needs to earn a living so on balance we have no choice .

I would think that your OH would be ok to go provided he has a plan in place and is contactable at all times. And he's lucky that you're being so good about it, many of my friends wouldn't be!!

Joannezipan · 05/04/2011 17:27

MadreInglese I'm glad to hear it! I would hate to think of him doing something silly in a bit of a pickled panic iyswim!

rrreow · 05/04/2011 18:22

It is unlikely you would go into labour while he's away. According to my NCT course guide, when you feel anxious (e.g. while your partner is away) your body is much less likely to produce the hormones necessary to go into labour. That combined with the fact that it's 3 weeks before your due date (only about 5-10% of babies are born at 37 weeks) would lead me to advise you not to worry.

Original poster

MadreInglese · 07/04/2011 09:22

Well after much reassuring he has decided he will probably go after all

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ChasingSquirrels · 07/04/2011 09:25

I wouldn't have been bothered when pg with dc1 - who then came 3 weeks early and only took 2 hours.
Given that experience I wasn't overly happy when, pg with dc2, he was leaving 6am Monday and back 9pm Fri for work. As it happens dc2 made his incredibly swift entry to the world just before midnight on a Friday - so he was there.

PinkFondantFancy · 07/04/2011 18:33

Why doesn't he go but just not drink - that way he gets to see his mates but with the reassurance he can get himself back without relying on public transport in the event that he needs to?

designergirl · 08/04/2011 16:18

Oh thanks, I'm glad you posted your dilemma, it has helped to reassure me a bit. I'm 35 weeks pg with our fourth dc and my hubby has to go away nxt week for a week for training. He'll be about three to four hours away, but if I go into labour I am not sure he will make it back as I am having a VBAC - I will try for a normal delivery, but if thr are any complications I'll go straight to an emergncy C section. To get back my dh wld have to leav his training, pack up his things again from the hotel and get a train back home, then onwards to the hospital. My parents live one and a half hours away down the motorway and I don't have many local friends to help me/look after children. I went up to 39 weeks with my others so I am hoping this one wld be the same.

BlingLoving · 08/04/2011 16:22

I'm starting to think the secret to a quick labour is for DH to be away.

kerala · 08/04/2011 16:25

Probably be ok though personally wouldnt as mine both early (37 weeks and 35 weeks).

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