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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How soon did you tell your family?

24 replies

googietheegg · 04/04/2011 18:06

I'm only 5 weeks and we've not told anyone at all, but my brother is being a real dick (had an argument on the phone today) and to some extent my reasoning doesn't make sense as he doesn't know I'm pregnant (he was pissed off I changed plans for later in the year)

So when did you tell people? We were planning to wait until 12 weeks, although I've never been pregnant before so don't have any particular worries, but is that being too cautious?

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Wombat33 · 04/04/2011 18:15

Congratualtions on your pregancy!

I think the best advice I was given is that if you would want someone to know if it all went wrong (and hopefully it won't!) then you can tell them as early as you want to. If you would rather not have to 'un-tell' them, or think you are the type of person who would prefer to lick your wounds in private if things didn't work out, then don't.

Fwiw I told one friend the first time around at 5 weeks and was very glad to have her support when I MC at 7 weeks. This time around I told the same friend again very early but no one else (not even my mum) until a good scan and nuchal results at 13 weeks. Just started telling people other than family now (currently 17+2) but still anxious I'm telling 'too' early!! Starting too get to the point though that I can't hide it any longer!

muffins · 04/04/2011 18:16

Told my parents at 6 weeks when had seen a heartbeat on an ultrasound but my parents still treat me like a child somewhat (am 26!) so wanted to get it out of the way.
People at work have known from 9/10 weeks too.
I think it's just down to personal choice really

d0gFace · 04/04/2011 18:17

I wish Id have waited till 7/8 weeks before telling parents/inlaws. But its up to you, whatever you feel comfortable with.

H007 · 04/04/2011 18:22

I told my parents the day I took the test... I had to am a rubbish liar and was so worried about their reaction, he hasn't told his parents yet I told him it's up to him when he does.

nannyl · 04/04/2011 18:45

I live along way from my family.

I found out on Jan 1st and told them all straight away (was less than 4 weeks pg at this point!, we had been trying, and knowing we were driving home Jan 2nd i really wanted to tell them face to face, so got an early pg test and an early +ve)

Told OHs family (who we live near) on Jan 3rd, at about 3+6 i think.

Was pleased we did as i quickly got very sick, and ended up admited to hospital with HG at about 7 weeks. Was pleased they already knew... couldnt really have hidden it as OH didnt drive, i was too ill to drive and needed to be driven to the un-local hopsital, and they dont do pregnancy stuff at the local hospital, so would have to have said then.

Also it meant they were very supportive etc etc

DoodleAlley · 04/04/2011 18:49

I agree with wombat only tell people who you'd want to know if you lost it. I only told my best friend at work because having such bad morning sickness I needed encouragement and in case disappeared dye to vomiting.

I probably would have told my parents if mc but I didn't want them to feel the same loss and I wanted to be able to take my time before telling them if I wasn't up to it.

Hope this makes sense. People were getting really worried about me by 12 weeks because I looked so ill! So pushed it to maximum but it was good decision though. And kind of nice to have secret with DH fir while and gave us time to adjust too without a grilling from everyone.

Congrats thou v exciting x

Ernie1 · 04/04/2011 18:51

I'm 5+4 and we haven't told anyone yet.

SIL had her 3rd last Sunday so we are trying to avoid raining on their parade.

I plan to tell close family and friends then, but wait a bit longer for work and people we see less often. Whatever feels right to you I suppose.

Ernie1 · 04/04/2011 18:54

Oh agree with Doodle btw - it's nice for a while when it's just a secret for the 2 of you.

BikeRunSki · 04/04/2011 19:12

First time told immediate family after knowing for about a week. Told work at 9 weeks as I was not well, and was admitted to hospital later that day. stayed there on and off for 6 weeks.

This time, told parents and work straight away in case I was ill again. I am, but they were a little prepared. Off work, and have needed a lot of grandparent support.

ethelina · 04/04/2011 19:15

We told the parents the day of the 12wk scan by showing the pictures

ToriaPumpkinHead · 04/04/2011 20:06

We told our parents at 4+3 and 4+6 as that was the only time we were going to see them in person before about 15 weeks. We also told my best friend and her fiance and OH's best friend and his wife as they're all people we'd turn to for support if something went wrong.

I'm now 10+5 and have my scan in two weeks. All being well we plan to tell everyone else (probably over the phone as we moved last year) as soon as we have the scan picture in our sweaty little hands

jammyscone · 05/04/2011 01:03

I'm not planning to tell family or work until I've had my 20 weeks scan, because there's a small chance serious problems could show up that weren't detected earlier, and I think people knowing would make decisions that much more painful. Fortunately I'm quite tubby so it's fairly easy to hide it so far (am 16 weeks at the moment). Is that ridiculously over-cautious?

cowboylover · 05/04/2011 01:11

I dont think so jammy if that it was makes you feel more comfortable and confident.

We told parents at 9 weeks after having an early scan as I was so sick and due to my liver disease we have to be careful, my boss as needed time off work and one very close friend so as others have said the people who we would need support from if there where problems ect.

The rest we told at 13 weeks ish after another scan a few at a time as I felt it very overwhelming with so many people suddenly knowing what was so private and think I told the rest of the office at 20 weeks.

madhattershouse · 05/04/2011 01:29

I told my family early, OH (then) told others . When I had my m/c's this left me telling people what had happened, the last thing I needed at the time! Wait untill the 12 weeks have passed..less chance of m/c after that! I had 2 m/c's but now have 4 dc's. A painful past but worked out in the end. My advice is to tell no-one till after first scan - and be aware there are no definates until you have that babe in your arms!

Original poster

googietheegg · 05/04/2011 12:47

We want to leave it as long as possible, but I'm well aware that some things that make sense to us don't make so much sense to anyone else as they don't know...but I don't want them flapping or being dramatic. I reckon we could wait till about 8/9 weeks quite easily, does that sound too early?

OP posts:

MadreInglese · 05/04/2011 12:49

we didn't tell anyone until 12 weeks but I think we'll probably be in the minority with that decision

thegingerone · 05/04/2011 13:29

Told both our families immediately with ds1. DH's mum reacted weirdly, so didn't bother telling them until we were 12wks plus with ds2. Told my dad (lost mum during 1st pg) at a few weeks. told manager at 6-7 week ish both times. Told team at 11 weeks-ish but was "exposed" by a collegue 2nd time round when she asked in front of everyone if I was pg, then gave me a really "you stupid" look.( uncouth IMO)

This time (pg3) told my sister at 5 weeks cos she was visiting me and will tell my dad (who is having an op this week) and brother in the next week of so. Had to tell my work cos I've got other health stuff going on which is on hold cos of pg.

Will tell kids once we've got a scan done. They're 8 and 5.

Agree that you tell the peeps who will be there for you whatever happens and everyone else when you feel "secure" in your pg. GOOD LUCK with thre pg! V. exciting times ahead!

ShowOfHands · 05/04/2011 13:31

I don't know anybody in rl who tells before 12 weeks really.

I don't tell people at all. I wait until they notice I'm heaving about a bump and moaning about sciatica.

doodledee · 05/04/2011 13:45

I told family and work the same week -I was 19 weeks. Same with first pregnancy - quite happy to keep it to myself until then -can't understand women who tell work especially b4 wee dry on stick!

dillydaydream32 · 05/04/2011 14:46

I told my mum immediately but only because she kept telling me that I looked pregnant for the past 2 weeks! I had to put her out of her misery! We have told a couple of close friends but that is all - I think it is up to you to choose! Sometimes having some moral support in the early days is good!. x

kirrinIsland · 05/04/2011 15:08

Most people I know wait 'til the 12 week scan, except for close family in some cases. I told my sister and one close friend first time round at about 7 weeks, but no-one else, as I was thinking about what would happen if things went wrong. Things did go wrong and they were a great support but I also told mum and dad and some other friends and work colleagues what had happened so defied my own logic! Second time, I told close family and a couple of friends but not anyone else 'til after the 12 week scan - everyone else guessed though - my green face and quick exits from rooms gave me away . They were all nice enough not to say anything though.
I think it's entirely up to you, but personally I wouldn't go too public too early.

marylouise75 · 06/04/2011 15:25

I decided not to tell a soul. I couldn't wait to spring it on my parents at 3months they were going to be grandparents. Well things went wrong at 7 weeks and I desperately needed emotional support so i told close friends and family. Best friend was perplexed as I had lied to her a few days earlier saying I wasn't pregnant and there i was sobbing on the phone telling her I was miscarrying. Next time round, I will certainly tell very close friends and my mum because if anything happened again i would go to them. I notice this is the complete opposite to others who told people and then m/c'd!

CitizenOscar · 06/04/2011 17:30

I told my family at 12 weeks and my mum was very very very upset that I hadn't told her earlier (apparently all her friends knew their daughters were pregnant earlier than that). Still don't think she's forgiven me, but it's what OH & I had agreed on, and it's what we felt comfortable with.

ToriaPumpkinHead · 06/04/2011 17:39

Oh, and I had to tell work right away as I work with nasty chemicals which can cause miscarriage and damage to unborn children. Not a risk I was willing to take!

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