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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Partners and booking appointments

21 replies

whatsoever · 04/04/2011 11:51

Hello all, newby alert!

I am newly pregnant (about 5 weeks) and had my first appointment with the community midiwfe today at my doctors surgery. I thought this was the booking appointment but that is actually going to be at 8/9 weeks at the hospital.

Do partners attend the booking appointment? I hadn't really thought about it as I had thought today was going to be the only appointment before the 12 week scan (which my husband will definitely be coming to) but unclear on the partner-attendance etiquette for the booking appointment.

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Charleigh0 · 04/04/2011 11:55

Your partner can come with you to anything hun :) x
Congrats!

SavannahRose · 04/04/2011 11:56

My OH only comes to scans. Nothing else. All your midwife will do on your appointments is blood pressure wee sample some blood tests.....I would get him to come to your 16 wk appointment tho. You will probably get to hear your baby then :)

ethelina · 04/04/2011 11:57

Of course he can come with you, but he doesn't need to. Mine was part at the gp surgery (form filling etc) which DH didn't attend and part done at home (medical history etc). He was there for that but only because it was sunday. He was actually fitting our kitchen so he just popped in with tea.

nunnie · 04/04/2011 12:01

If you want him there take him. My DH only came to scans and Consultant appointments but that was my choice really.

wigglesrock · 04/04/2011 12:45

They can come if they or more importantly you want them to, but they will have to leave the room or you will need to have a few minutes on your own with midwife when they ask/offer advice re domestic violence. Congratulations

Original poster

whatsoever · 04/04/2011 12:46

Thanks all. I think it may come down to whether he can get the time off work but it sounds like he can come along but he won't miss anything major if he can't make it.

OP posts:

LDNmummy · 04/04/2011 13:40

Mine was late but wanted to be there so turned up towards the end. The midwife thought it a lovely idea for him to understand the process and be involved. It also gave him a chance to meet her and get to know her a little. So if she does end up there during delivery, we both know her now.

LDNmummy · 04/04/2011 13:41

But it is just form filling and making dates on the whole so not alot would be missed.

Congrats!

Dziga · 05/04/2011 12:22

Mine came to the booking appointment, it was good because he had a chance to meet our midwife and ask questions and it helped him to feel involved in the whole thing too.

nancerama · 05/04/2011 12:53

DH has come to every single appointment with me, but I don't think it's the norm. He is so excited and wants to be part of every bit of the process, and I feel very lucky that he has been so supportive.

If your partner isn't able to make it to every appointment, I would definitely recommend that he attends the 12 and 20 week scans, and the 16 week check up, which was the first time we heard the heartbeat.

It was actually quite useful for him to attend the booking appointment too. There are a lot of questions about the medical history of both parents and their families. It was helpful to have DH there to talk about his medical history and that of his family so that I didn't have to rely on what I knew about them.

LauraInGuildford · 05/04/2011 13:02

Got my booking appt tomorrow and bringing my hubby....

angelsw12 · 05/04/2011 13:49

Mine comes to all the appointments - we are in this together! lol

Seriously though, at the booking appointment, he waited outside but I had to call him in as they asked A LOT of questions about both our family history of illnesses etc which I wouldn't have been able to answer otherwise. The midwife was very happy to have him there too. But I would say if you have all the info then he doesn't NEED to be there - it is just form filling after all.

Congratulations!!

Beesok · 05/04/2011 15:49

I took mine with me because I thought I would have a scan (my GP had requested it) but turned out there was a mix up and they weren't going to scan me so I told him he could go home :) he offered to stay but honestly, it would have been quite boring for him. He stayed with me in the waiting room and helped me fill in my forms until the midwife called me in, he is def. coming to all the scans though :)

HLSalter · 05/04/2011 15:53

My OH has come with me to every single appointment as he wanted to be there but he's not really required to be there. Personal preference really. Xx

PrincessScrumpy · 05/04/2011 17:13

DH came with dd1 but not this time - it was all form filling in and he works an hour away. He'll be at the scans though. I remember dh making jokes about alcohol and being drunk when asked about my alcohol consumption which mw was not impressed by (anyone who knows my dh knows he isn't a big drinker but mw didn't know that!).

natwebb79 · 05/04/2011 18:36

My other half didn't come to my booking appointment. He asked me if I wanted him there but to be honest I thought he'd be a bit bored watching the midwife fill in forms and taking blood from me. He'll be at the scan though.

theonlyhb2 · 05/04/2011 19:20

my OH wanted to come to all my appointments and still does. I would think it would be weird not to go with him as he is as involved in this as me.

mamaesi · 05/04/2011 20:48

wow. i am impressed...my husband did not come to a single apointment/scan.... nothing.

doubt he will this time either, although actually i was not really bothered by it

G1nger · 05/04/2011 20:53

My partner came to my booking app and second hospital antenatal app. Both were pointless really for him to attend. Your midwife should hopefully give you a sheet of what to expect at the apps you'll need throughout your pregnancy- I'll only be inviting my partner to the ones that discuss birth/post birth options from now on. He also attends the scans and whatever antenatal classes I go on. But not many of the midwife/GP apps as there's no point... Except for company, that is. That's nice.

pistonpower · 06/04/2011 13:00

My DH came with me for the booking appointment and was told to just sit in the waiting room by the MW. Now he isn't going to come with me to any more MW appointments but will still come along for the scans. It wasn't my usual MW as she was off sick that day. Hopefully my own MW will be a bit more inclusive!!

Beans1977 · 06/04/2011 13:02

My DH came to my booking appointment. I wasn't too bothered whether he came or not but he wanted to. It is our first though, so the novelty may wear off soon!

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