Oh jeez, Boss wants to talk about promotion!

[apples82]

I've been with the company 2.5 years, and its always been said that when X leaves, i'll take over in his role, we've always spoken openly about this.

Boss has just turned to me and said next Thurs he wants to do mini-appraisal, to discuss and make sure we're both on the same page in regards to new role which i'd start in about 2 years time.

I'm currently 10+4 with my scan a week on Tuesday, and although I know I don't have to disclose that i'm pg (and I wouldn't consider before telling folks etc), I do feel a little guilty about it all.

Our industry in seasonal, so boss is saying i'd need to start learning now as X only has 2 harvests left before he goes.

But I secretly know (or hope after scan in a week and a half) that I'll be having a year off from September, therefore vito'ing one of those two 'training' years.

Do you think this will cause a prob when in 3/4 weeks I do tell him i'm pg???

It is obv up to you, but I think honesty might be the best policy here - if he is a decent boss & human being, your boss will appreciate your frankness and maturity in your current role - he is being open and strategic with you, so I think you should reciprocate.
That said, there is an obvious danger that the promotion could be revoked if it isn't in writing yet (employment law notwithstanding). I think that your boss would be irritated if you let him have the big convo now, and then tell him in a month that you're pg - try and look at it from his perspective and make your decision that way.
If there is any way that you can claim you're well on the way to being trained already, this may help your case.
Not an easy one! I feel your angst in having any big career discussions just now.

Thanks jamama, my thing is, i've been saying all the way along this pg that up until I get scanned, its up in the air. Yes I've had positive pg test, but until I have a confirmed scan that nothing has gone bye bye, I won't believe it.

Because of that, I don't want to tell boss before i've even had my scan, as I feel like i'd be presuming i'm pg, and I really don't want to tempt fate like that.

Uh-oh! Can you either bring your scan date forward or put the chat back to the following week? I do understand how you feel about tempting fate - I was exactly the same - but I also think you need to tell your boss before he puts plans in place. Good luck x (p.s the 12 week scan is SO worth the wait!)

apples any way you can put the chat off till after your scan? I understand - I was like you - wouldn't believe anything until after I had seen baby on scan...

I don't know, I think if I ask for the scan to be put back a week, he'll put two and two together, as he knows I'm at the hospital on the Tuesday. I don't want to not have the chat because I'm pregnant, that wouldn't be fair.

Can you still take the promotion even though your pregnant? You say it wouldn't be fair - do you mean to you? If you think you can take the promotion, take maternity leave and then come back in the same capacity - then go for it! x

P.S An ex colleague of mine got a promotion at 6 months pregnant and is still taking a year maternity - so if you can - do! Good luck x

Yeah I could still take the promotion, he wants me to start learning the ropes now so that by the time X leaves, i'll be fully capable in the role. However, even with a year less, a year long is still a good amount of time to learn a role.

I'm hopeful that my boss won't be angry, it's not against employment law or anything, but it is to be discriminated against because of pregnancy, that's why I want to have the conversation with my boss first, as it's laying the foundations for the role.

I think you've answered your own question apples82 :)

If you can still take it - then do do do!

And if he's annoyed - just tell him you didn't know ... and that the hospital tests showed that you're (make up some symptoms) pregnant and not ill after all! hehehe x

Hi Apples,
I agree with NewMmmyToBe. If it was me I'd wait until after the conversation. He seems like a decent enough man but you have no idea how he'll react to the news you're pregnant and if you think you can do the job even with a year off then you need to get the offer formalised before you tell him. If you told him first and he withdrew the offer for "some other reason" then you'd have a much harder time showing he was being discriminatory.

And congratulations by the way!

Well he knows i've been sick. During about wks 6-8 i've been incredibly ropey at work, trying to hide it, but it's really apparent when i'm poorly because I go really quiet (very unlike me!). I know he's cottoned on to something being 'wrong', and I had to tell him that I needed time off for a hospital appointment.

I got fairly certain the he knew that I was pg, as he kept mentioning comments about this job, and I thought he was testing the water so see if i'd tell him. Now i'm not so sure, as the guy leaving has been talking to my boss to make sure i'm taking the role.

hahaha - I think he does know! :) but the great thing is that he still wants to meet with you!

I'd say you have two great things to look forward to!

Congratulations! x

I'm in a similar position. Late last year my boss started talking about potential promotion this year sometime. Luckily, he's a really decent guy and the company are really supportive and he knew I wanted to start a family and said then that it wouldn't make a difference.

Didn't stop me asking him straight out when I found out I was pg if it would put me out of the running. He said not, and I believe him.

If you're so close to the scan anyway and you've had no bleeding or anything so far, you might be okay (though I understand not wanting to tell people - though I was so ill I couldn't not) and it shows that you trust him, rather than avoiding the question or fibbing then telling the truth later.

If it's been talked about for ages and everyone knows, and they suddenly withdraw that because you're pregnant a) that's not the kind of company I'd want to stay with and b) it's clearly discriminatory.

For me, being truthful and open about it was the best policy, but your mileage may vary.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do. :)

I took a promotion when I was pregnant. I did not tell my management, I had a previous pregnancy that had ended at nearly 20 weeks. It was known about among some of the management team though not the guy who I got the promotion with. My motto was live for the day and not the might bes. My pregnancy flew as I was so busy I had no time to worry if the baby would survive. No one minded when I did tell, they could see how hard I worked and they wanted me back. I came back from Maternity leave to manage the top company project because my boss fought to get me a good position. So if you do explain when you finally tell why you chose to wait, I think managers would understand. Just don't commit to anything you have doubts you can fulfill

I hope he will understand. At the end of the day, the pregnancy is what I care about. Yes I need a wage, and i'm sure I shall continue to get one. I know that he wants me in that position so I hope it'll go alright in the end.