lots of emotionl stress with partner / baby has lots of hickups...

[Zauberfee]

hiya, me and my partner are arguing a lot sometimes and I get really upset and hysteric. I am quite worried about baby. Yesterday it was particularly bad and baby had lots of hickups during the night. This morning baby was really calm and quiet even though it kicks about quite a lot! Are hickups normal? And how bad is emotional stress for baby?
Thanx, x

is baby born, or are you pregnant?

ups, , am 33 weeks pregnant.

hickups are normal in pregnancy, and i don't believe related to stress - very laid back pregnant mums have babies with hicups, so i wouldn't worry too much about that

i found in both my pregnancies that the morning was when the baby was the most inactive/calm, and kicked more towards end of day/night

as for emotional stress, i think that everyone suffers from this at some stage, and that you shouldn't worry

i think the more important question is "if everything ok with you are your partner?"

Zauberfee - Firstly, at that stage hiccups are totally normal! ds and dd both kept me awake at every evening with their hiccups!

Secondly, I totally relate to the hysterical episodes you are describing during arguments with your partner. Mine started shortly after ds was born. It developed into full blown PND.

When I got pg again with dd 2.5yrs later I was assessed as having Antenatal Depression at 32 wks. My symptoms are what you are describing. Have you spoken to your midwife about this? Mine was REALLY good and so was the GP. Its much better to deal with this NOW than to try to work through it with a newborn baby and a lack of sleep.

BTW, I managed to gain control again with the help of my Health Visitor. For the last 7 wks of my 2nd pregnancy she visited me weekly. She taught me relaxation techniques and assured me I was normal. But more importantly she and I talked.

Wow - fangache - great advice (i didn't know you could get PND before the baby, but now that you've said it, it makes total sense)

KB - Yes AND seems to be a bit of a focus right now. As standard around my area women are given the Edinburgh Test at 36wks pg. The theory being that PND can be nipped in the bud before all the stresses (physical and emotional) of having a newborn.

My baby has the hickups all the time...well no, but at least twice a day. I have heard it's a good healthy sign and at least you know the diaghram is working properly! I think we all get stressed and emotional during pregnancy no matter how hard you try not too. Babies are probably sturdier than we give them credit for! Good luck!

fangache: thank you for your advice on AND; my partner sometimes tells me to get help (which I take very personnaly and I think he is the one that needs help sometimes...), but I feel more as a failure rather than accepting it as so many women have a happy pregnancy. And I don't really know why I should have AND, I love being pregnant and am so looking forward to the baby...

Zauberfee - There doesn't have to be an explanation. Oh and my DH used to spit that at me too while I was sobbing hysterically on the floor confused and distraught.

I had NO reason to be depressed which is why the HV and GP missed the signs the 1st time. They just were not looking for them. I was healthy, baby was healthy, we were financially ok, didn't have drug habits etc etc.

Honestly you won't BELIEVE how common this is! I didn't realise until I told people I had suffered and was shocked at the amount of my friends and family that did/are too. One of my friends needed AD's from mid-pregnancy.

I hated DH for being so cruel to me. And I still resent him for it now unfortunately. Please go speak to someone now. Its not just your problem.... its both of your problem and it really is better to deal with it now.

I was anxious while expecting (due to mc history) but dh virtually did everything for me to allow me time to relax and chill. I wasn't stressed and dh & I never argued (says he bit his lip alot!! LOL). DD always had hiccups while I was pregnant and even has them now and she is 5 months old! I don't think they are related to stress at all! Apparently while baby is in your tummy she is learning to swollow and it's this reaction that makes them swollow amniotic fluid which in turns make them hiccup. Or so my mw told me..
Good luck on the relationship side. Really, your dp needs to keep you as releaxed as possible. Getting you stressed is not good for you or the baby.

... but how do I really know that I have got AND? And what can be done?

I'm also going through this. I'm 32 weeks, with DD 16 months. It's really spiralled in the last couple of days. We're decorating the house and I just can't cope with the mess. I start off having a go at DH and it spirals into a full sobbing crying screaming episode where I just want to hit / hurt things (I won't, but boy do I want to). I just get so angry and irrational. I know my DH isn't perfect (we've got stack loads to do and he knows how stressed I am but he still gets out of bed at 11.30am, when I've got up at 6am with DD and walked the dog (so he has more time for painting), dropped her off at nursery and then gone to work for the day). Rationally I know it's him, he won't change, he'll do the work but in his own time, but I can't cope. And it's making him all defensive and snappy too (he feels I've spent x hours painting, and all she does is moan and scream). I don't know how to control it. I can't stand the house like this and I don't understand why DH won't go all out to make things better for me, but just stubbornly sticks to his usual routine. He's due back at work next week (he's on half term) which in one way will be better because I expect less of him when he's working, but will mean he won't have time to do the DIY and get the house ready.

I just seem to need to have everything under my control or I flip - how can this be normal?

Should I be seeking help or will this pass?

babygibbon: exactly the same with DH and me... WE NEED HELP, ANYONE!?