Having a third girl - happy but sort of upset at the same time

[ladyofla]

I just found out this morning I am going to have a third girl. In my 12 week scan I was told it was 95% sure I was going to have a boy so even though we didn't tell anyone in case it wasn't a boy I had got used to the idea. I was sort of disappointed but at the same time relived at having another girl and mostly happy the baby is healthy. I was worried my DH might be disappointed but he is in fact delighted. In the couple of hours since then I have been a bit upset. I don't actually crave a boy as such and haven't been dreaming of blue or boy stuff but just thought maybe a change would be good. At the same time there is something very nice about having a third girl. I also feel so lucky to be having three kids when I know so many people having fertility problems and have friends who have just not met the right person to have kids with etc. The weird thing is that I think I am upset at what will be the reaction of people when I tell them. I have already had comments about how I must want a boy etc. It seems sometimes that other people have more hang ups about it being a boy or girl than the parents. I'm sure I will have some nice but almost commiserating type comments and I think I am more upset at the prospect of all these reactions than anything else. Does this make any sense? Has anyone else been in the same situation?

Sounds to me like you and DH are totally fine, so i wouldn't worry about daft comments. A small word of caution though. Keep a little bit of an open mind. I know of two people who were told they were having girls, and in fact they got it wrong. Harder to get wrong when they pronounce it's a boy (as they see evidence!) As you say though, either way you seem fine and have lovely family who will love the new arrival :) x

I made a comment once that upset my friend, I thought it was an innocent enough comment at the time. She had 2 DS and when she told me she'd had DC3, and it was a girl, I said "A girl, oh I'm so pleased for you!" She said "I wish everyone would stop saying that, I would have been just as happy with a boy." I honestly didn't mean that I would have been less happy for her if he'd been a boy...

However now I'm expecting DC2, we already have a DD and people are REALLY getting on my nerves with the whole "are you hoping for a boy" thing. I can see why my friend was so sensitive about it. One comment on it's own from one person is one thing, but when you are dealing with comments from lots and lots of different people it can make you sensitive to it. My friend asked DD (age 7) whether she would like a brother or a sister. My DDs response was "People keep asking me that but it's not like I can choose is it?" I think she's getting a bit irritated too!!!!!

I went to a friend's hen do recently and seeing her with her two sisters as grown ups (last saw her sisters when they were 12 and 9) was amazing. They are so close. I hope my three girls are like that and also just as loving to me as they are to their mum!

Do you think it may be partly because you were told at your 12w scan that it was probably a boy. I read about this somewhere where somone had the same thing and she described it as almost like a sense of grief. She'd thought she was having a girl for 7 months, chosen a name, bought clothes, imagined her life with her daughter and then said it felt like it was taken away from her. She had a healthy son and soon came to terms with the fact he was a boy and loved him dearly but said it did feel like she'd had a daughter that had died.

I'm sorry if that's insensitive to anyone who has had a loss, just repeating what I read.