Firstly, I should say that on both occasions it's taken us a long time ttc and I am absolutely delighted to finally be pregnant again.
I loved my first pregnancy, and felt amazing (once the nausea and exhaustion had passed with the first trimester) and was so looking forward to the experience of just being pregnant again, especially as this will likely be my last pregnancy (all being well). So far (am 19-20 weeks) it just hasn't been the same for various reasons:
- Coping with DD1 who is a "terrible two" and potty/toilet-training at the moment, absolutely exhausting. I still just want to collapse into bed after I get her down in the evenings.
- Am now a SAHM having been made redundant after going back to work. Less spare cash to splash on pregnancy "treats" such as nice clothes and spa pampering, nice toiletries, etc, all of which I did in first pregnancy.
- My taste/body shape has changed since last pregnancy and I don't like/fit many of my old maternity clothes.
- No lazy lunches with work colleagues this time (I was pregnant at the same time as a colleague last time - she and I spent hours comparing notes and making plans).
- No friends pregnant at the same time as me, except one good friend in Australia who has 3 kids already and too busy for regular phone chats (we've tried!).
- No maternity leave to count down to. No maternity pay.
- No personal trainer at the gym this time. Feeling much less fit, although I am trying to do something about this now the sickness has gone.
- Rubbish pelvic floor....am having to wear pads all the time.
- I'm stuffing my face with all kinds of rubbish to help me have more energy. Except this time I know that after the birth/bf I'll be dieting heavily for months.
- I've got a massive cold sore. First one for years (and years). And my skin is still terrible. In last pregnancy by this stage it was completely clear.
- No "babymoon" to look forward to this time. (Although we do have a nice family holiday coming up.)
- DH is the sole earner this time and working long hours to hold down his job in tough economy (for which I am very grateful, but he is a "weekend dad" and I do everything else Monday - Friday).
- Although I do have part-time childcare for DD1, I spend my child-free time doing housework and never-ending house-related admin. Boring!
- DD1 can be so all-consuming that I sometimes forget I'm pregnant, until DC2 gives me a helpful little kick as a reminder. Then I feel bad for neglecting DC2!
In other words, I am far-from "blooming" at the moment. The weather is so lovely outside as well. I just want to sit in the garden and read a book or go for a lovely walk. But no, the laundry and ironing beckons...
It's not that I'm dreading the birth or latter stages of pregnancy, because neither of these were bad for me last time around (I was very lucky). And I am looking forward to meeting my gorgeous DC2 at the end of it, in the hope that s/he, by law of averages, has to be a better sleeper/"easier" baby than DD1. Or, at least, I've earned my stripes with her and will have many more coping strategies.
Does/has anyone else feel/felt like this with their 2nd and subsequent pregnancies? Any tips to help me make this pregnancy feel more special?