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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Recovery after giving birth

23 replies

Marabou · 22/03/2011 19:41

Hi all!

Ok I know this is probably again one of those questions where there are as many replies as there are women, who've given birth, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway.. So basically I was wondering about the recovery after vaginal birth and how long it might take. And will your private parts ever go back to the way they were pre-labour or even close?

Forgive me if I'm being vain and, but lately I've been really obsessed with this wondering whether I'll need to start saving for a vaginal rejuvenation surgery ..

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thisisyesterday · 22/03/2011 19:50

1st birth- took a couple of weeks. but i had a 2nd degree tear and it was horrible down there for ages

2nd and 3rd births, a day or 2 and i was totally back to normal!

dp says its all the same down there

NoWayNoHow · 22/03/2011 19:53

My recovery took almost 17 weeks, but that's because i had a very bad 3rd degree tear which became infected. I'm not the normal case I don't think...

Fillybuster · 22/03/2011 19:57

I don't think this is something you really want an answer to....I definitely would not have wanted to know how bad my experience was going to be post-partum after my first (and second) but I still went on to give birth vaginally 3 times and it was totally worth it. And with time and the right care you can recover from pretty much anything. Oh, and my post-trauma support was all available on the NHS.

So best not to worry about it in advance.

Good luck :)

CBear6 · 22/03/2011 19:59

I had a vaginal birth and a second-degree tear that needed stitches (not trying to scare you!).

I was tender to begin with, but that's true in any delivery, the first time I went for a wee afterwards it was like peeing fire and I was walking a bit like John Wayne for a few hours too (DS had a huge head). It gradually got better though. The stitches healed up lovely and I was out walking with the buggy after three days, I was even having sex two weeks afterwards and it was fine. DS is now 18 months and I honestly wouldn't know I'd ever had a tear most of the time.

The main things for recovery are to take it slowly and go at your own pace but resist the urge to do nothing. There's no rule says you have to be down the gym within a few days (who would even want to be!?) but a gentle stroll with the buggy can help healing because it encourages blood flow to the area. Listen to your body, it'll tell you when you're doing too much - once I started to feel sore or like my stitches were pulling I knew it was time for a sit down. The good news about vaginas is that generally they heal really well because the tissues there are really elastic, the muscles are strong, and it has a rich blood supply.

And do your pelvic floor exercises! They'll help too.

Original poster

Marabou · 22/03/2011 20:16

Thanks for your replies. I don't know why I only started worrying about this recently; so far I've mostly been worried about the labour itself and how I'm going to cope with the baby afterwards.. I guess watching all those birthing videos finally sunk in: how on earth will my bits ever shrink up again !

True actually now that I think of it, you would think the skin and tissue around the vagina will heal easier than skin elsewhere. After all it's a bit like the skin inside your mouth and those sores generally heal very quickly.. I'm just hoping it'll all go well and that I'll hopefully actually feel like trying to have sex again sometime in the future. For now the thought just completely horrifies me...

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nunnie · 22/03/2011 20:27

I had a VB (not completely straighforward) with my first and it took a few months to feel normalish down there, I am now 4 years on almost and couldn't honestly tell you if it is back to normal as I can't remember what normal is. However it is fine as it is and I haven't noticed any difference in the bedroom department.

memphis83 · 22/03/2011 20:31

I had a LOT of stitches, had to have a catheter for 3 days after i was doing my food shop when ds was 2 days old, was ok when up but got sore sitting and when trying to get up, i remember looking down there and it looked swolled and I cried to my mum about it looking different but within a week it looked fine and 8 weeks later was back to normal just with a scar!!!

midori1999 · 22/03/2011 20:42

I've given birth to 5 DC vaginally. My first was 9lb, second 10lb, subsequent babies all smallerand earlier but never had any tears or stitches. I recovered quickly each time, bit sore for a few days and the bleeding's a pain, but I was horse riding again 3 days after having DC3.

Not sure I was ever exactly the same after, but not exactly a wizards sleeve either!

Karoleann · 22/03/2011 20:46

DS1 - episiotomy and ventouse about 10 days until not sore any more. Bits were fine by 6 week check.
DS2 - slight graze - not sore after a week (but then got horrible mastitis).
Sorry if TMI but if anything I've actually got more sensation now than I had before children.

CBear6 · 22/03/2011 21:03

Karoleann, snap. Supposedly it's because childbirth slightly alters the internal structure meaning more nerve-endings are exposed than before. I find it easier to get "a happy" since having DS.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/03/2011 21:15

First one was a few weeks, I had an epsiotomy though and had a velcro baby. Second one I was fine in a couple of days. DH says sex is better than ever.

When I read the title though I didn't realise it was going to be more along the lines of recovering from the tiredness and Babymoons

iskra · 22/03/2011 21:25

DD was forceps & episiotomy. The piles were a problem more than anything else post birth. I was v tender & sitting on a valley cushion for about 2 weeks. By 3 weeks I was dancing at SIL wedding till 1am. We had sex at 10 days & it hurt a lot, can't remember when it went back to normal but I assume pretty quickly.

Original poster

Marabou · 22/03/2011 21:27

Hih, nope I just wanted to know what to expect with your lady bits ..

Good to hear that despite tearing and complications, it's still possible to have a good sex life and that your body will eventually heal itself!

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/03/2011 21:33

Just reread my post. Obviously wasn't having sex after 2 days just felt better. Waited a few weeks before having sex, not days, even I'm not that keen.

Original poster

Marabou · 22/03/2011 22:15

Wau, and here I am telling DH not to expect to get lucky for at least another 16 weeks! Baby is due in 8 weeks btw... reading this makes me think again!

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Fillybuster · 22/03/2011 22:50

Again, don't want to scare you, but I think it took me about 3-4 months to even try after DC1 (he was ventouse and massive epesiotomy), and it hurt for about another 6 months....DC2 was (if possible) even worse, even though the delivery was better and I had to have scar tissue removed before we could resume normal service. DC3 was the largest and easiest...

Best advice I had (re nookie) was to do it and to keep on doing it as a) not doing it makes you worry more b) the more you do, the better it gets (true) and c) to use lots of lubricant and not expect too much. Esp after #3, given my history, my very amazing midwife was bloody determined that dh and I get going as quickly as possibe....and she was right :)

Good luck and remember (as with so much when it comes to babies and dcs in general): try not to worry about the things you can't control :)

Fillybuster · 22/03/2011 22:51

oh, and if you've got 8 weeks to go....make the most of it NOW! Seriously, you probably don't feel like it at the moment, but honestly, it will be worth it and you'll feel great and smiley afterwards!

Original poster

Marabou · 22/03/2011 23:17

Hm, that sounds like a difficult journey! That's true though that not having sex at all eventually makes you petrified of the idea..

At the moment though I'm just completely disinterested. We've had sex twice during my pregnancy mainly because of me: I just can't be bothered with it and I think it's uncomfortable, awkward and weird to think your baby is there right in the middle of it. I can't concentrate on it at all and just don't feel like it, so DH agreed on not trying until after the birth, bless him.. Although I'm sure he's not overly excited about the idea of sexing it up with a huge bump either..

It just all of the sudden hit me that sex after having given birth might be awkward as well, but that then it might not just be because you don't feel like it but because your body is simply not the same ..

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Sparklies · 23/03/2011 01:03

No tears aside from a slight internal one apparently caused by DD's fingernails!

For the first few days it felt like my insides were going to fall out down there (I pushed for well over an hour), but it slowly corrected itself and I felt quite normal not long after. DH reported everything else was exactly the same once that side of things resumed and I think he is probably right!

theressomethingaboutmarie · 23/03/2011 09:13

I had a second degree tear after giving birth to my 5lbs 6oz daughter and needed a couple of stitches. It did hurt for a week or two and having my first pee after birth was awful. However, I was then recommended to have a jug of warm water ready for when I went to the loo and to pour that on my fandango whilst peeing. IT did help. I had sex 7 weeks after birth and a stitch popped

msbossy · 23/03/2011 09:15

With the most straight forward of births and little to no tearing you can expect to be swollen and bruised for a couple of weeks but you'll also have lochia so it's all a bit weird in that area anyway! I think the pelvic floor exercises I did after the birth helped and are definitely of benefit to DH!

For minor tearing (I can't speak for those who've suffered more - my heart goes out to you all) my advice is:

Have a bottle of water with a sports cap handy. If you squirt the water over the sensitive area while peeing it saves a lot of pain.
For your first poos after birth, hold a warm flannel over your stitches. It helps to reassure you that your insides aren't all going to fall out!
Try a couple of drops of lavendar oil mixed with a tablespoon of milk in the bath. It assists healing.

Pootletrinket · 23/03/2011 10:34

Get some arnica in as well, I took 30c the couple of weeks before labour and 200c from the day she was born; had massive episiotomy and stitches but MW said she thought I'd healed better than most.

I drank 2 jugs of water after the birth and peeing didn't hurt.

I also used lactulose before my first poo (which was terrifying prospect but turned out to be so loose it was painless - did slightly overdo the lactulose though!)

In the bath, I used lavendar oil but would also (now) use SBC Arnica bath stuff - really strong.

Bumpsadaisie · 23/03/2011 11:37

I had an episiotomy. Yes it was sore to sit down for a couple of weeks, but not agony by any means.

Watch out for any stitches/wound getting infected and jump on it with antibiotics the minute it seems to be getting worse each day rather than better. Don't wait and let it get progressively worse.

I don't know if I was typical but I found that for three weeks or so after the birth you are sort of on an adrenaline high that propels you through the recovery and dealing with the baby (with a blip for baby blues about day 4/5!)

It does take a while to go back to normal. We first had sex (very very gently!) about 3 weeks after. It did all feel different down there at first - so expect that, and it will change and improve over time. But I am sure after about 3 months it was fine having sex.

It is still harder to keep tampons in now though, so there have been some permanent changes - it is a little bit bigger down there than it was! But its fine, and DH still seems very satisfied with matters and sex doesn't feel any different.

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