Getting upset about comments about my size

[DewinDoeth]

OK, so I'm being a bit silly, but I keep getting upset when people say 'goodness, you're huge' etc.
Plus I'm off to see friends of DH on the weekend, and she's around 6 weeks behind me but claims not to show.

I'm 24 weeks, and I have an obvious bump - I'm a size 8 ordinarily and I've not padded out around my waist/bum etc. I don't think I'm enormous tho!

Plus, all these comments are making me panic about having a massive baby - DS was 6lb at birth (and 40+5) and I'm now panicking that I'll have an 8lb-er!

Can anyone reassure me?

Generally, people aren't being cruel. What they're trying to say is 'wow'. They're amazed that you're growing life in you. If you start approaching it from this pov then it's much easier. Certainly easier than believing everybody is being needlessly cruel and I'd like to think that only a few insensitive numpties are actually being thoughtless.

And size means nowt. I was huge when pg. I'm v short, have a short body and nowhere for the baby to go. I had an average sized baby. A tall colleague had almost no bump until the very end and had a whopper.

Please try not to worry. Nowt wrong with a big baby anyway, not necessarily harder to give birth to. Aforementioned friend had an 'easy' and straightforward labour and delivery. I had an epic, intervention heavy nightmare and eventual cs. Position and head circumference are what eases passage, not weight.

I hate that people seem to think it's okay to tell a pregnant woman that she 'looks huge'. I'm 32 weeks and I AM huge, but I don't want to be told that FFS! Please just ignore these unhelpful and unkind comments, which aren't even true.

As for the other woman who's what - 18 weeks? Is this her first pg? If so, then maybe she isn't really showing, but who cares? Maybe she's bigger/taller/whatever than you to start with. If you're only a size 8 normally you've got fewer places to 'hide' your bump. And after 20 weeks is when you start to stick out more. Just wait, when she's 24 weeks I bet she's showing too.

I've just been to make coffee in the kitchen at work and have had exactly the same kind of comment:

colleague: "when are you due?"
me:"July."
colleague "Not til JULY!!!????! You're massive!!"

Don't worry about it. It's just small talk and conversation.

And ditto with what ShowOfHands says about weight not being a factor in birth. My DSIL had an 8lber first time (epic nightmare over 4 days), then had a 10lber next (easy 6 hr labour with G&A).

Should have added - other woman who is 18 weeks - same size and height as me (swapped mat clothes last time round!), second baby, her first was the same size as mine.
But I guess I still won't be comparing like with like, not really!

Thanks - I just got a bit panicky about the comments and the thought of having a huge baby (why, I don't know - nothing wrong with a healthy baby whatever the size!)
Maybe I'm overthinking it, and maybe I can't quite see beyond first baby = what I know, when every baby is different IYKWIM.

I was the same size as you to begin with, and have a large out-the-front bump and have had exactly the same thing all the way through. I think because people are used to you being quite petite they find the difference more noticeable. It is difficult not to take it to heart as it's not often that it is acceptable to remark on someone's appearance like it, normal etiquette seems to go out of the window once you're pregnant.

My own dad greets me on a weekly basis with 'You're HUGE!!', and has been telling me I look due since I was about 25 weeks. It's been tiring! He'd probably be mortified if he thought he was upsetting me, though.

Everyone carries differently, and people forget how big you need to get to get - even a 6lb baby takes up a lot of room!

I too hate those comments.

I smile and say nothing, but enjoy the little vitriolic monolgue in my head that retorts with all sorts of unspeakable meanness for those that deserve it. Sometimes, people say really insensitive things: "You're big / small for XX weeks aren't you?!" , "Are you sure its not twins?" blah blah blaaaaahhhhh

Also hated randomers touching me, particularly a man at work that would rub my bump really hard (am 38 weeks, left work at 33). I never managed to escape him, but my pregnant colleague got pretty adept at side stepping him.