when to tell DS 2 1/2?

[dribbleface]

Thats it really, when to tell him. Have 12 week scan Thursday so would be happy enough to say then but wondering if to wait? He tells me there is a baby in my tummy so dont' think he will be that shocked!

I told my DS (now 2.7) at about 20 weeks, and to be honest I think even that was a bit early. He seemed to get bored of the baby chat quite quickly, and now that it's due in a month isn't in the least bit interested! I think he views the baby as something that is talked about but isn't real / is never actually going to arrive. Maybe mention it now but don't make a huge thing of it and leave the books about getting a new baby etc until a bit nearer the time? I think 6 weeks' chatting about it would have been quite enough here!

My DD is 2.7 and we told her very early on, to try to stop the toddler boisterousness/bouncing on tummy, etc.

Lots of her friends' mums at nursery are expecting, so it's a familiar concept to her.

Be warned though, my DD has regressed slightly over the past month or so. All the talk of being a big sister/big girl seems to have had an opposite effect, and friends have told me their DS's were the same. As you get bigger, you can do less with them physically and they pick up on that. DD is being a PITA at times.

We're reading "There's a House Inside My Mummy" with her to help her understand.

Mine are 4.5 and 2.5 and I still haven't told them - my 20w scan is this week.

Friends don't understand why I have said nothing. I can see me going for weeks longer not telling them! It's almost a point of pride now - as well as stopping the constant 'is the baby here yet?' chatter.

I just tell the boys I am tired or I need help picking stuff up or not to squash my tummy because it hurts. That seems enough so far :)

I managed to leave it until about 32 weeks as I felt even 8 weeks was a lifetime for a small child to wait.

But by that stage I was forever 'sshh-ing' shop assistants!

I would tell him after the scan because you wouldn't want people to mention infront of him and he hears it second hand, better to be told directly imo. If he is not too bothered/interested you don't have to talk about it every day but atleast he has been told and you can bring it up every now and again?
This is the method I am taking with my ds similar age.

I have a bigger age gap this time around and my 5 year old guessed even before I did the preg test, and I have always been very determined not to lie to her (presenting things in a child friendly way but not lying) so I told her that one of the eggs in my tummy might be growing into a baby but that we couldn't be sure til the doctor had checked - and confirmed it after the 2 week scan to both her and DS (3).

DS was born the day after DD's 2nd birthday though and I told DD really early on, and the children I child minded then who were also all under 2 when I found out I was pregnant - I took them all to my midwife apts (I did get some looks in the waiting room with a bump and 3 little girls under 2 but they were all very good and interested in hearing the heart beat etc.)

I think the only reason not to say is if you are worried about loss, but I think children understand and can accept with more than we give them credit for as long as we present it thoughtfully - DD was interested in and talked about (and to) baby right through my pregnancy when she was nearly 2 and really did seem to have a good understanding (on her own level). We looked at pictures of babies at different stages and talked about how big he was and how big he needed to be to come out "safely" and this kept it "real" to her - but I agree don't go on and on about it once you've told the DC, just let them take the lead with questions.

This time around both DC seem to understand well at their own levels, although DD is far more interested and excited and DS sometimes very proud and boasting to his friends or talking to the baby through my tummy, other times he wants to pretend to be my baby - normal reactions and fine, as I have explained I can't carry him much atm but will be able to again when my tummy has mended after baby comes out (know I will be having a planned section) - I think it is important to set expectations and for him to know it is not the end of me carrying him, I will be able to again at a fixed point in future (he's a big lad though, not carryable that far even without being preg or c-section wound!). It has helped this time to look at pics of babies growing in the womb, to compare baby now and baby at the right size to come out to size of dolls and teddies, and also handily as my c-section is 2 days after Easter it is handy to explain the baby should be here just after the Easter bunny!

If a toddler is oblivious and you are not ill or struggling (or being kicked or climbed on around the tummy by toddler) I guess no hurry to tell them, but if they have guessed I do think it is a little odd to choose to lie about the baby, esp after the 12 week scan!

All the best!

12 week not 2 week scan obviously!

I told my 3 year old son straight away to stop him jumping at me!! And he told his twin sisters who are 2. Even though it was ages ago they all sit there and sing rhymes to my bump and kiss it and everything. It's too painful for them to touch it now though so they are only allowed to kiss it (pregnant with twins again!)

We took DS to a private scan to find out what we were having and let him tell the grandparents as big brother duty as he was only 15 months when his sisters arrived so he's never known any different with them.

We told our 2 year old straight away, again to stop her jumpIng on my tummy but it was a long wait for her and I could tell she was sick of it by the end so tried not to talk about it too much. Her first reaction to being told there was a baby in my belly was to laugh and say "that's silly mammy"

I would tell him after the scan because you wouldn't want people to mention infront of him and he hears it second hand, better to be told directly imo

I have a 2.5 yr old and he wouldn't really understand if he was 'told second hand' - he really has no concept of babies in tummies and small babies coming out and living with us and being a big brother. Isn't that a position we put on them?

My 4.5yr old is a different matter, but then we talk about babies in general and hypothetical questions about baby brothers and sisters. I just haven't sat them down and gone 'look, there's a baby in here. It will come out and cry a lot and you can help me look after it'.

Thanks all. Think i will go with mentioning it at the weekend but not making a big deal of it. He picks things up very quickly so i would worry about him hearing others talking about it and be confused. The other night DH and I were chatting in bed about perhaps moving DS's bed into the ajoining room to his when baby arrives, this was at 9pm (i know 9pm is early to be in bed but i'm so so tired!) and Ds had been asleep (or so we thought) since 7.30pm. The next day he said mummy i'm going to sleep in the ironing bedroom (can you tell its a junk room!) and the baby can have my room!!!!!

Thanks again.

i told my daughter, who is just 4, almost immediately. she is part of the family afterall and well old enough to understand and be excited along with everyone else. unfortunatley, i lost that baby at 12 weeks so telling her that it hadn't worked out was pretty tough. but actually, i'm glad she knew as she was very sweet and kind and knew to take it easy on us for a bit. i explained that it hadn't worked out but that we'd try and make another one as soon as possible. she was sad, but very compassionate. it made me realise that kids understand far more than we give them credit for and those feelings of empathy and compassion are all there at an early age.
your kids are part of your family, part of you, and i really think they should be included in the big stuff that happens.

I was going to tell my DD (turned 3 when pregnant) when I was over 30 weeks, but someone blurted it out at her birthday party when I was about 25 weeks.