Your mum's experience v yours?

[freelancegirl]

How much does your mum's experience with pregnancy and childbirth influence yours? I guess I mean genetically rather than emotionally - but am sure the latter has some influence too.

I only ask as my mum says she had two really good labour and birth experiences - both reasonably quick (myself only being 2 hours) and 'painful' but 'nothing to scream about'. Pretty quickly she was up and about with no lingering health issues and when we were growing up I always remember her having a great bikini body.

I SO want to have the same experience :) but I hear so many things about people's bodies changed for good, scar over-hangs v damaged bits, floppy boobs and nightmare births etc etc that it seems to me that that's the norm these days! Or is there a certain case of volunteer bias and people generally only tell their stories when they have something bad to say?

Such a good question!!

IME my mum had 3 kids, all early & below 7lb, no stretch marks & a fab figure!

ME? 3 DDs so far, all between 8-9lb, 2 overdue 1 cs, plenty of stretch marks and now expecting dc4. No similarities whatsoever!

We are around the same size (12-14) so I assume that's down to genetics but who knows?

Im only 14 weeks with my 1st, so not done the whole lot yet...

however so far we have been completley opposite!

She had no sickness at all with either me or my sister... felt fine and never once vomited! I on the other hand have been sick daily since 5+6 and also have hyperemeis, have been in hospital through dehydration etc, and am still very sick despite 3 anti-sick tabs a day!

My mum would have been an 8 - 10 pre pregnancy and didnt show at all until 20 weeks.

I moved into maternity clothes at 12 weeks, and am already huge!.. I need a wedge under my bump to sleep and properly look pregnant already.

Im hoping our labours and births are similar.
My mum used aromatherapy, homeopathy and gas and air. Nothing else. 2 straight forward births without any tearing, and relatively short labours for us both.... about 9 hours with me and 6 for my sister.
I plan tens machine, hypno birth and water birth!

My mum gave birth in hospital, where as i plan to give birth at home!

Ah, so the old adage that your mum's experience might be similar to your own doesn't quite ring true!

My mum has always had a great figure (until the last few years where as well as menopause she has been eating far too many cakes and is now a size 14 from a usual 10). I was always the same size as her until I put on weight with a thyroid illness and also went up to a 14 for few years. However medication and exercise mean my pre-preg size was a nice 10. She doesn't have any stretch marks but then I have them already from adolescent growing. And like I said, her two births seem to have both gone really well.

Am only 11 weeks but am at that stage where I am really thinking about what might happen at the birth (presuming it all goes well) and what might happen to my body afterwards! Or does 'that stage' not end...?

I'm an only child and mum nearly had me in her kitchen while at the oven! 2 hour labour and out i shot (aparently).

Me ... i was in labour for 3 DAYS with my first. 1 day for my 2nd, and 12 hours with my last.

So ... no - i'm not like my mum. But - she had terrible trouble with her periods, painfull + went on for days, and i bleed lightly for about 3 days and that's it.

Interesting question freelance.

My mum had 3 kids and went at least a week overdue with each. She was induced with 2 of us and went into labour the night before a planned induction for the 3rd. She has no stretchmarks and has always been around a size 12 (although she does bugger all exercise so has always been a bit flabby).

I've had 2 kids and was overdue & induced with both of them. I don't have any stretchmarks either and am about the same size as her although I love to exercise.

The only differences have been that she had nonstop morning sickness whereas I only had a little in the evenings. And I've got SPD.

FYO: we don't look at all alike (colouring, features - nothing). The only thing I do have are her lovely slim ankes :)

My mum had hyperemesis the whole way through, up to, and including due date (like me).

She barely showed - and only wore maternity because she had some clothes and wanted to wear them. No damage to her body.

I showed, but not much. Some people didn't realise I was pregnant. I've got no stretchmarks from pregnancy.

She had two very difficult births - I had emcs.

No similarities as of yet with me and my mum.

She had DB1, induced due to high blood pressure and born on due date. Forceps delivery

DB2 was emcs as transverse and early.

Me 10 days late but not assisted delivery

I have a dd who was induced due to waters breaking early but was an unassisted delivery. Currently pregnant with dc2 and really hoping I won't follow my mum's example with the section!

She also had no sickness, and I have had fairly bad sickness with this DC.

Yes. Very similar. Uncomplicated, quick, no pain relief or stitches.

Both had PND but in Mum's day this was ignored so she had a much harder time. I had excellent care.

Mum had one pregnancy (me, obviously) and I've had two.

Mum was alone - my Dad didn't want to get up as he was tired so she went to the phone box to call her own ambulance - (toxic relationship).

I have a wonderful relationship with DP and he was brilliant.

Havnt had mine yet but so far we are pretty similar. My mum suffered through both her pregnancies, she had loss of appetite, sickness and was very tired I have had all these. Also we seam to carry the same way all in the front, so from behind dont look that pregnant.
She has a very small pelvis and had difficulties delivering me, and my brother was a emcs as he was tranverse and in distress. I have bigger hips than her so not sure if we will have similar birth experiences but then again I have uterine fibroids which she didnt have. So I could have complications.
I think attitude does come into it as well, my mum took pregnancy in her stride even though she had a rough time, she is very maternal and never puts any pressure on me, so I hope that it will help in the later stages of pregnancy and birth, and also bringin up my baby.
I guess I will know in a couple of months if we have similar birthing experience.

Not very similar here. Mum much more sick than I ever was with both pregnancies, actually physically sick as well whereas I only ever felt it.

Labour couldn't be more different either, she was 24 hours with me, I was 4 hours with my first. I was up and about the next day walking my dogs and doing housework, whereas she stayed in for 5 days but think that may be more of a sign of the times!

I am much more physically fit than she was though. She was never into exercise whereas I run, go to the gym, walk miles with the dogs.

The only similarity we can think of is that we carried the same way and both put on little weight and lost it easily afterwards.

My Mum's experiences were not at all the same as my first one. (Ask me again about the second one later this year.)

My poor Mum went into her local hospital with me (this was in the 70's) and was then rushed to the larger county hospital because I was breech, and ended up with a traumatic forceps delivery. I suspect these days she'd have been given an emergency cs.

My first labour/birth was quite calm and relatively quick. I was able to stay in a relatively small local hospital.

My Mum had no morning sickness in either pregnancy, whilst I've had a lot of nausea (first pregnancy) and sickness (second pregnancy).

If I have a body like my Mum's later in life, I'll be very happy, but sadly I am shorter than her.

Very similar for me - two births for each of us, first one induced, had epidural and forceps delivery exactly the same. Second one induced, just gas and air, even similar length labours. Big bumps for both of us and big babies too (although mine not quite as big as hers thank god, my brother was over 11lbs ) If I look as good at 62 as she does I'll be happy, although she didn't have a third so I'm in uncharted territory for this next one!

My mother and I seem to have had very similar experiences so far, in spite of me having two boys and her having two girls. We both conceived easily, had nausea but no vomiting in 1st trimester, no complications in pregnancy, and I had a 16-hour labour and normal delivery with #1. Hers was 12 hours with me and about six with my sister. My #2 is due in 9 weeks, so we'll see how that one goes, but I'm feeling optimistic and hoping for a water birth this time.

I don't think there is much relationship between your births & your mother's. You might both have fairly average experiences (nausea in first trimester, long-ish first labour shorter with subsequent babies), and pre-eclampsia does have genetic links as does depression but I think it is mainly down to coincidence.

My mum had 4 home births, I've had 5 c-sections! We couldn't have had more different pregnancies either. We do parent very similarly though :)

My mum & me have both had easy pregnancies, both had stretchmark free stomachs, & returned to bikini bodies (I credit the breastfeeding for that one!).

I totally thought I would have similar births to my mum because we are a similar shape & build. My mum had 3 straightforward homebirths, the first lasting 14 hours, second 10 hours & third 4 hours. I planned a homebirth with my first & ended up transferring to hospital after about 16 hours & a forceps intervention after about 24 hours. So not quite the same! Hoping mum's genes will come out in this birth

Very similar so far. My mum, my auntie and I all went 2 weeks overdue with our first DC, all had long inductions that ended in emergency c-sections, all had girls and luckily we all recovered quickly from the surgery. Lots of stretch marks though .

My mum and auntie both went on to have a boy, both went into labour a week before their due date and had a straightforward delivery after a very quick labour. I'm hoping to find out early next year if I am going to follow that part of the pattern too .

There's a long standing joke about the lazy girls and impatient boys in the family .

My Mums first birth with me and my first with my DS couldn't have been more different.

Mum had a 36 hour labour, was given pethidine which she reacted to very badly. We both had to be resusitated. She was left with tearing and huge stretch marks and I wouldn't be surprised if she had PND too.

I had no stretch marks, did have an episiotome but a pretty quick first labour. Went to the hospital at 11 am ish and had him at 5.40 pm. Had gas and air and was back in my jeans in 2 months.

Second birth was much quicker for both me and my Mum. Thankfully for her, she had a lovely experience the second time and went onto bf my sister which she had wanted to do with me but was too ill.

So far we've had similar experiences. I was born by c-section because (according to mum) her pelvis was too small and I got stuck. DD was breech for ages, 2 weeks overdue, got stuck during labour, and was also born c-section. The thing is, I've always assumed I had a small pelvis as well (being the same shape as my mum) and would end up with a c-section. So maybe it's more that I got what I was expecting, rather than what was inevitable? Am pg again with number two (mum only had one) so remains to be seen what consultant says about my labour - if it was a pelvis issue or not.

I'm hoping I can be like my mother too - she had 4 pretty standard births, so she says, all natural with minimal pain relief, a few stitches but nothing major and kept her figure as well. All of us were 7-8lbs in weight and she didn't show until quite late into the pregnancy.

I'm only 11+3 at the moment so fingers crossed... although to be honest I'm also thinking, who cares as long as I get a nice healthy baby and healthy me at the end of the day?

Ha! No idea. Mum had 3 babies - DC1 was fairly quick. She didn't even realise she was in labour until my Gran went round to see her and when my mum said she had tummy cramps and thought she was constipated, Gran was like "You're in labour!" DC1 was born about 2 hours later.

DC2 (me) was breech - booked in for a C section but was tried for a vaginal birth - all went fine.

DC3 was very quick - I think she said her labour was only abotu 2 hours. As soon as she arrived at hospital (which was not far from our house) she was wheeled straight to delivery room and out popped Baby. The midwives joked that she should get to hospital when she's pregnant next time.

ME - I had an undiagnosed breech. Mindful of my mum's relatively quick first (and last) labour, I went to hospital when my contractions were 3 minutes apart and faster. I had been having contractions for about 12 hours I think (which were every 5 minutes like clockwork from the start). However, a VE showed my DD to be breech and I had an EMCS.

When they said baby was breech, I said "typical" - there are loads of breeches in my family.

Oh, but I'm hoping that I do not inherit her post-pregnancy body (sorry Mum!)