Help! Some advice needed :)

[Natz2011]

Hi everyone, I'm 28 and I've just found out I'm pregnant. It's a big shock because my partner was diagnosed with infertility some years ago and told that he would probably need medical treatment to help him conceive. We haven't been together that long and our relationship isn't really at the having kids, or even living together stage. I don't know what to do. I've always thought I'd like children one day, but I'm terrified at the thought of having a child now. On top of that I'm a full time student and so have very little money and live in a very basic shared flat. Not ideal! Has anyone been in a similar situation? Feel totally out of my depth and any advice very welcome.

Hello natz, I didn't want to leave your message unanswered.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this shock but I'm sure its pretty normal - I can certainly relate to parts of your message.

My only advice is to give yourself some time, the shock will pass and you'll see things a lot clearer.

Take care.

Take a breath. Don't panic. Share the news with your other half (he may be ecstatic given his infertility probs!) and deal with the unexpected news together.

Things always work themselves out, just don't panic!

Good luck

I fell pregnant in a brand new relationship almost 5 years ago now, literally pregnant in the first week! I was on the pill but it failed for no reason. He was living in a house share, I had just given up my house and was back with the parents to find somewhere else to live.

It wasn't easy telling him especially as i had made it clear I didn't want commitment, kids nothing like that. He took it very well and he was only 23. We decided to keep said baby and try and be a family but if it didn't work out then be amicable. That child turned 4 yesterday!! He has twin sisters who are 2 and twin brothers on the way!! I won't say it was easy as we were learning about each other at the same time as moving house and raising a newborn but we have managed it :)

Hey Natz - I had the opposite to you, I was the one who was told I had infertility problems and would need medical help to get pregnant. I told my new partner pretty much straight away as I thought it only fair, fast forward 4 weeks and Im telling him im pregnant!
He was still living at home and I was living in a studio apartment, neither was ideal and I was only 22 so very scary but I was also so happy that I had managed to get pregnant. We decided to give it ago, and although it was difficult as he has only ever really known me as pregnant and hormonal or as a worried/anxious mother, not as the fancy free, fun loving girl he had met and he had to grow up very quickly, we moved into together and looked forward to bringing our new baby into the world!
That baby is now 4 yrs old and the best thing in my life, and his baby brother will be arriving in 2 weeks time :)
We are (obviously) still together and although its been tough at times and me and my DP feel like an old married couple as we have been through so much in a short amount of time, I wouldnt change a thing!
As a final note, after falling pregnant with my 1st DS so quickly I assumed the docs were wrong about my infertility and thought it would be a doddle getting pregnant again. This was not the case, I needed alot of medical help and it took over 2 1/2 years to get pregnant and it made me even more grateful that I managed to have my babies.
I do agree that you should speak to your partner about everything and give yourselves time to get your heads around it and make a clearer decision.

Good luck with whatever you decide :)