To NCT or not to NCT?

[freelancegirl]

Friends who have had kids have told me they found NCT classes invaluable, for the advice of course, but mainly because they made friends with like-minded people nearby who were having kids at the same time, and often these have become longer-term, fast friends.

I really liked the idea of this as I won't be living very close to many of my friends and will know no-one having a baby at the same time.

The thing is, I received a quote for the classes (got to agree to it by mid week) and it will cost around £300 for a night a week over about 4 weeks. I just don't feel I can afford it at the moment.

I would like to know:

Do you think NCT classes are a good thing to do despite the cost? I realise they might be cost effective but I don't feel I can find that money right now.

What other ways are there to meet new friends in the same situation? Am thinking yoga classes or similar..?

As I haven't had my first mid-wife appointment yet, I am unsure as to what other advice there is out there. Do the NHS offer similar classes to teach...I don't know...whatever stuff it is they cover at the NCT classes?

I wouldn't bother. You can make good friends at normal mother and baby groups. The stuff you learn at nct normally has a bias to it. Would recommend you save your money and buy a good book like what to expect when your expecting.

Nhs classes are good if you have them.

we didn't do nct as couldn't justify the cost with all the baby stuff to buy.

we did regular nhs ones and i have made some fab friends! nhs doesn't mean rubbish or antisocial. however they information they gave us was rather rose tinted - we know how it REALLY is now! :)

The cost put me off NCT classes, but luckily the NHS ones were brilliant. My sister was amazed at how good my NHS ones were and said that they were on a par with the NCT ones she went to (she lives 250 miles away).

I made friends at toddler group as the NHS ones had partners there as well, so the mums didn't really talk to each other. Seven years on I still meet up with the toddler group mums.

I would recommend them. You can get a discount if on a low income. They are worth the cost. You can make friends elsewhere but the shared experience binds you together. 4 years later I still see my Nct group 2 or 3 times a month. Nhs classes are being cut in many areas and are often very brief without the time to cover many of the issues. You also have to pay in many areas. I found they were biased towards the hospitals devices whereas nct was more comprehensive and neutral.

The way to make friends at these classes is to be informed. Know Where the aqua natal classes/baby groups/yoga are and ask if they fancy trying it with you. Cue phone number/email exchange.

I have found that I have made some wonderful friends this way. I also found an old college friend again at yoga and we have become very good friends.

We've decided to go NCT but that's mainly because the NHS ones round here are run between 3 different hospitals (in 2 different cities and 1 town!) that would involve simply vast amounts of travelling. Why they can't all be held at one place I don't know. NCT are horrendously expensive though, am feeling slightly guilty at the price when you consider how much else we've got to spend for the baby.

I couldn't justify the expense of the NCT classes and decided just to go to the NHS ones run at the hospital where we will have the baby. Went to the class on Friday and it turns out that the hospital contracted out the antenatal class to the NCT. The teacher said she was teaching the same things as she teaches people on NCT classes, so it really would have been a waste of money for us. Maybe we would have made friends by going to NCT, but the local classes were in areas that would have been difficult for me to get to with the baby to meet up with the potential friends as I don't drive.

I went 4 years ago, but it was £70 and as I was hard up, I arranged to pay in installments - £300 does sound a bit steep. I thought the quality of classes were very good, and better than the feedback I'd had of our local NHS ones. The support after the birth was nice, too.

And yes, we met likeminded lovely people who were great for around a year and then I became the glue that held us together and it was just too much trouble. Have always been a working Mum, so didn't do baby/toddler groups, but now DD is older and at nursery/pre-school, have a bit more of a network.

Are you sure of the cost, or is it an intensive course? We paid £260 for 8 weeks and it's been absoultely brilliant. Don't know I'd have justified it for 4 weeks though, not cos they aren't great but because I would have been put off by the cost.

I've found the information and support brilliant and DH has too. It's very practical and I feel very ready to deal with labour and the early days with the baby now wven though we have a load of complications.

NCT does some informal means - testing, so you can ask them for a discount, you don't need to join as a member, so that saves about £40 and you can pay by installments. I think it's one of the best things I've ever spent money on; going in to my 37th week feeling calm and in control is worth far more to me than more baby stuff.

I would highly recommend NCT classes, certainly in my area, for the volume of well balanced information you get. Our teacher was terrific, very caring and gave us a good, balanced view of a huge range of topics which I found invaluable as a first timer.

In comparison, the NHS classes were a poor show. I think our midwife teacher answered her mobile to two personal calls during a two hour class and for the babycraft class, she turned up 20 mins late, after we had gone to find her having a cup of tea.

It is a lot of money but I managed to freecycle an awful lot of my new baby's essentials, saving a fortune.

where are you - ours were 130 for a full weekend, full price!!

Just had our first NCT class today, and it was great, however we did think twice about the cost too. Ours was £279 Inc the membership for a 2 day intensive course and a breast feeding evening. But I guess if you haven't got the money, you haven't got it, and if you went ahead regardless you might end up stressed about it, which defeats the object of you going. If it's more of the social aspect you want, why not try an MN meet up in your local area instead?

My NCT teacher was rubbish, wish we hadn't bothered. We also didn't really click with the other couples in our group (though I think some lifelong friends were made there, just not with us!). I made much better friends with the group I went to aquanatal classes with, and we still meet up every week (DS is 18 months now).

With the NCT, the only thing of some use was the breastfeeding session, and after actually going through it I felt the information/attitude could have been better.

I don't think you are missing out if you can't afford NCT. If you can find aquanatal or antenatal yoga classes to go to, and then be the friendly one who suggests meeting up outside of class/going for a drink after class, that really worked for my group!

We found NCT classes very informative, but also very rose tinted - they certainly didn't prepare me for a difficult birth and mega problems breastfeeding. A lovely relaxed natural birth is obviously everyone's ideal, but you have to be preoared for that not to go quite as planned...

I didn't particularly click with the other people there. I made friends who were on the periphery of my circle of friends anyway who became much closer when we had babies at the same time, also classes run at the local children's centre and library. I did find the classes god for getting DH to actually think about things and learn about the birth process etc, as he was very reluctant to look into these things himself, but I do't know if the NCT classes were necessarily any better in that respect than NHS classes. All the best!

I didn't do any NCT classes, no real reason, just didn't fancy them.

I met loads of mums in the clinic's before appointments, going on hospital visits anti-natal groups at hospital.

I was fine, had a huge circle of 'new mum' friends, did the local midwives breast feeding support group etc. Lots of other opportunities to meet mums / babies rather than NCT.
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I couldn't afford it but didn't really fancy it too much either after an initial enquiry.

I already had a good support network around me, and have not found it necessary to know lots of other Mums to hang out with. I work FT, so DD has her social life at nursery & with CM, and in the weekends we do stuff as a family and with friends (some who have kids some who don't). With this next baby I will be on maternity leave for 6 months, and do baby massage group etc, but again I know enough friends with young babies etc for company should I need/want it.

But I know others who have loved it, swear by it and made long term good friends via NCT.

I'm in Hackney and found the NCT classes cost the same - over £300. I didn't bother, and have just finished a 4-week course at the local hospital (Homerton - 2 hours per night) which I thought was excellent. The midwife was knowledgeable, smart, neutral, down to earth and full of common sense. I can't imagine what more I'd get from NCT. I'm also down to do a supplementary NHS antenatal breastfeeding class on Wednesday, so hoping that's good too.

The only thing is meeting people. I didn't make friends at the NHS course, but I figured I'd rather spend £300+ on (for example) baby swimming classes or baby yoga or whatever... actually doing stuff with my baby and (hopefully) meeting people at the same time.

Thanks for the responses everyone. I am still mulling it over but I think I have to book and pay this week.

The trouble with where I live is I can't imagine I will meet any like-minded people at the NHS ones. If this sounds wrong do bear in mind that I am mixed race, travel a lot, have lived all over the world, speak languages..etc etc, BUT I want to find people who might have full time jobs or careers like I do and (when not pregnant!) like the odd glass of wine or three and there are mainly people of religions and beliefs in my local surgery that don't necessarily see these things as a great pass time. Great for mixing with at times (that's why I love living here) but not what I really want in terms of finding people I have a lot more in common with in terms of work, social lives etc etc to hang out with when on maternity leave. Hope that reads ok!

I could probably get the DH to find the cash but I think it's a case of finding it hard to get it this month and needing to book it this month.

ecuse You have a good point about meeting people in classes etc though.

freelancegirl - that was my worry too. Our area is not exactly were I'd choose to live forever IYSWIM. But they seem to group people of similar ages and backgrounds here. We all worked, had long term partners and were between 25-30 ish. Not exactly what you see at the gps surgery.
I hold my judgey pants up and admit to being wrong!

LOL! Thanks soppy. I was expecting to get lambasted for that post.

I have actually just emailed the NCT to see if there are any shorter course (ie cheaper options) so will see what they say. I hear some of them do intensive courses? That might be a way to also meet people without having to pay so much money. The 6 week course here is around £300.

Think it was £200-250ish 2 years ago here. We didn't qualify for any if their means testing. It's a lot when you think it is a major chunk of baby spending! :)

If/ when you sign up make sure you untick the "NCT membership" box - you'll save £30. You don't need the membership!

I do think being in a small group (6ish) meeting whilst pregnant and then again after the babies are born does glue you together. I saw loads of my NCT group in the first year. We still meet now but it's only every few months.

Meeting at other places is quite hard and though i've done lots of groups i've never made it past small talk and baby conversations before classes.

Another idea is to do post natal classes once you have the baby. I did one with my local HV and also an NCT one. They are a good way to get used to leaving the house with a baby, and i do see one of those groups each week now even though our DCs are nearly 2.

As I'd read lots of books while pg I didn't really learn anything from my NCT classes, but DH did!

I am still in touch with 6 of the other 7 couples & see most of them a couple of times a month (DD is almost 2.5). I personally found the support we got/gave each other was invaluable, and now we're doing it all again with #2!

I have made a few other mum friends at classes, but have found it much harder & I'm not as close with them as I am my NCT gang.