A firey arguement a few weeks ago was followed by a making-up shaggathon. We decided to make the most of it and get the morning after pill. It's only 58% effective on day 3 apparently- oh shit. The net result is there will be a 52 week gap between DD2 and this DC3 - currently 9-10 weeks pg. (DD1 is 11y/o- big gap).
We had agreed we both want more children (plural), so I was always going to get pregnant again at some point. When I told him though he advocated a termination for DD2's sake, which I firmly vetoed. Then he advocated it for my sake. Within about an hour got him to understand I can't/wont terminate my baby because the timing is bad, no matter how bad and that he needs to accept that baby no.2 was meant to be and meant to be now. I have got over the shock and am looking forward to my 2 lovely babies growing up together. He is not though. Oh he says he is, intellectually I believe I persuaded him on the day I broke it to him but his heart's not in it. DP is a simple creature, not thick, but uncomplicated. When he's saying one thing and thinking another he doesn't cover it well.
An example is that I feel really sick because of the pregnancy and I don't like the smell of the kitchen, but he's left all the washing up for me to do. Truly all of it. We've used every plate (takes us 2 days tops- but he knows it). I would expect him to make a concession because I'm pregnant but he hasn't. He did with DD2. Or I get tired a lot (I really just do not wear pregnancy well) but he's been complaining how much time I spend in bed- even when I have DD2 in with me and I'm doing her feeds/changes/playtime from bed. He was bending over backwards to make sure I rested enough when expecting DD2 tho. Or the other night I had a slight bleed, which is relatively normal for me, but I wanted a cuddle in bed and a bit of reassurance and he got huffy and said he was tired. To put this into context I had a bleed at this stage of pregnancy with DD2 and he got to the Drs from where he was 10 miles away in a time a fighter pilot would be happy with. This time though a cuddle is too much bother.
As I said he's a simple creature, he probably hasn't realised how utterly transparent he is and probably quite innocently thinks that his lip-service to excitement has me fooled. It doesn't though. I'm starting to feel a bit depressed about it actually. I look at my 2 existing girls and I see little miracles who are awesome and something to jump for joy about and I have no doubt that bump will be that too. But I know whatever he says he is thinking we shouldn't be doing this.
I gave him a lecture last night about that I am every bit as sickly as I was with DD2 and I need the same concessions. Yes I also have a baby to care for and I know this, I do my share of this (even from bed) but I want some acknowledgment that I AM pregnant. For medical reasons (heart condition, poor connective tissue) I do not wear it well at all. I also gave him the lecture that "you better bloody not be thinking anything barbaric like that it'd be good if this bleed was a miscarriage. This is MY BABY we're talking about, of course it's awful if they die, they are every bit as much my baby as DD2". He swore he wasn't and then did do a bit of cuddling, but I still just don't wear it.
I have no doubt he doesn't mean to show it, but I can tell he still thinks we shouldn't be having this baby. I'm getting really unhappy about it. What do you ladies think about it?