Ever forget about the baby?

[Allatsea1]

This is a weird one...is anyone else not 'baby baby baby' 100% of the time? Don't get me wrong I am excited but there are days when I don't really think about the baby and even though I've only got four weeks left I'm still finding it hard to believe there is an actual baby in there. I know other mums to be who seem beside themselves with excitement and it does make me feel guilty and like I don't deserve our baby if that makes sense?

Even when I see my abdomen judder I find it hard to believe there's a baby in there. It was a planned pg, but I've always felt "I am pg" rather than "I am having a baby" and tbh I won't feel like the baby is definite until it's born and breathing. We've been cautiously optimistic from getting a positive pg test result and it's not changed to blind optimism yet so I don't think it will.

It's hard to explain - there's excitement thinking about the baby and choosing baby clothes and equipment but also a restraint. Probably self-protective in my case. (Prev mc immediately before this pg)

Constantly! But I already have 4 DCs and they really keep me busy. I sometimes forget about being pregnant then get a big kick which gives me a shock :)

I'm 32 weeks now and it is getting harder to forget as the discomfort gets worse and the bump gets bigger. Its actually made my pregnancy go by quicker as I don't feel I have been counting down the days so much as with the others.

Of course! And I really treasure those moments when I forget, and live in the 'real world' for a while.

Yes, happens all the time, but it's not my first pregnancy and I am busy with DD a lot of the time.

Poor DC2 is already suffering from second-child syndrome!

It's also self-protection as I know a few people who've had bad things happen later in pregnancy and in birth.

Fairly frequently, until bump brings me up short now!

I used to forget for ages at a time earlier on.

Yes, regularly, but I think that's largely down to a large dose of denial after a previous loss.

Bump to baby is a difficult transition to make. It's hard to associate a wriggly bump with a person until they pop out. This seems to be the case no matter how many times you do it! I think it's normal to see other people's happiness being greater than your own, but they will no doubt have just as many pregnant anxieties and forgetful moments as you do. These feelings don't make you any less deserving of your baby.

What I find odd is that although I am aware of the bump and movment I can get no sense of connection with the character of my LO. My job involves tuning in to people and connecting at an emotional level...and it really bothers me that I cannot get this connection with my LO! I guess it just proves that character develops and is not there from birth (or conception)...and it makes me really really impatient to say hello to my baby and get to know him.

It's good to think about your baby as a person, not just a "baby". A person who, once born, is no longer a part of you and will not necessarily share your likes/dislikes or do as you say/want!

I forgot about that bit and was a bit taken-aback when DD was born with full-on "attitude" and willpower (IYKWIM) from the very first moments. You should have seen the scowl she gave me after popping out!

Phew! Thanks for your responses ladies - it's made me feel a lot more normal.

Blimey I forgot about the baby once even after I had him!!

He was a few days old and I was visiting MIL and I got out the car, slammed the door shut and walked up the drive. It was only after I let myself in I thought God, the baby!!!

Took a while to live that down!

I'm 19 weeks with my 2nd at the mo, and yeah I forget all the time. When I was heavily pg with my DS I would be out shopping and see something lovely and fitted and think "oooh that looks nice" and then catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror and think "damn, forgot about that, lol".

Every year I start early in my quest for the perfect winter coat and come up short, but the winter i was heavily pg with him I must have seen 50 i loved. Sods law!!

I'm 36 weeks and don't think about it at all whilst working, or shopping, or cooking or doing the housework or dealing with my diabetes.

I've never got excited about stuff in advance, or even scared, guess I lack imagination! I'll happily mumsnet for an hour though, it reminds me of my new identity.

Then every Sunday morning, when I have a bit of time I get a bit emotional and it's all I can think about and I want to talk things over with DH. I'm big now but not uncomfortable so it's easy to forget most of the time.

I forget when I'm at work (25 weeks). I am concentrating on what I'm doing and the person in front of me and then there's a big kick! Sometimes my 1st thought is 'blimey what was that!" then I remember oh yes there's a baby in there!

I also forgot about the baby when she was a few days out. My husband said he was going to the shops and I said great, I'm coming with... totally forgetting about the baby!!

Sorry baby brain, I meant a few days old.