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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is it wrong to feel slightly disappointed that we are having Boy no 3?? :(

23 replies

babybumpx · 10/03/2011 18:32

We had our Babybond scan today at 16 weeks, at the beginning I was convinced that I would be having a Girl, I know this is silly but 3 Mediums told me so :( (Big Fat Liars)

Is it possible that it could be wrong? I am probably in denial I know, I was fine until I started going through my DS baby clothes and felt incredibly deflated, I so longed for a Daughter, not sure we will have anymore after this one.

I will try and upload the scan photos so you can give me your opinion but im not sure if you can.

Will i start to feel better about it? i'm thinking of all the happiness he will bring but I really do want a baby girl.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

1Catherine1 · 10/03/2011 18:40

I don't think it is "wrong" to feel disappointed but you know it will pass. In time you will get over your disappointment and when he arrives I'd bet that you think you were just being silly to feel like this now.

I understand how you must feel. I might only be on pregnancy number 1 but I know I would like both a boy and a girl and would be disappointed myself if I got to three with all of the same sex. Strangely when I got pregnant I wanted a little girl but convinced myself that it was a boy then found out at 20 weeks that it was in fact a girl which led to a strange and confusing disappointment. Now 1 week and 3 days to go and I can't wait for her to arrive.

Congratulations on your pregnancy :) I hope you feel more positive soon.

rasta · 10/03/2011 19:08

Not wrong at all, gender disappointment is a very real issue with sadly much taboo and controversy surrounding it.

Give yourself time to come to terms with it, and within a few weeks I'm sure you'll be feeling much better and excited to meet your new little baby.

Congratulations!

knackered76 · 10/03/2011 19:45

A friend of mine had the opposite, longed for a boy but ended up with 3 girls. She found out with her last as she knew she would need time to accept it if it wasn't a boy. It wasn't and she was devastated for a few days but she did get over it and more to the point adores her youngest. She still has a longing for a boy but has accepted that the chances are it will never happen for her. You will get over your disappointment and you will love your new son just as much as your other ones :)

ThisFeelsWeird · 10/03/2011 20:26

Not wrong at all to feel this way for a while. But you will soon get over it - can you imagine the joy you will feel when you see his little face for the first time, you won't care one bit then about having a girl. You are so lucky to be making brothers, they will be friends for life

Loopymumsy · 10/03/2011 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConnorTraceptive · 10/03/2011 20:45

It's not unusual to have a preference so it's ok to feel a little sad. As it was I was desperate for boys and was lucky to have two. If I ever had baby number three I'd be desperate for another boy so I envy you!!

You know deep down you'll love this baby regardless so it's ok to have a moment of sadness

Original poster

babybumpx · 10/03/2011 20:52

Thanks guys....I just checked on my DS1 and stopped for a while to look at him, as I do normally, he is so beautiful and my love for him is just endless, my heart sometimes aches I love him so much, I guess a part of me has always only wanted a girl and boy, now I have DS and DSS I am questioning whether I will love DS2 as much as DS1 as I cant imagine it at the moment, he my little angel, im sorry if that sounds silly but im sure you understand.

OP posts:

rasta · 10/03/2011 20:56

I understand, and you will love him just as much as DS1, I promise

They say when you have another baby, a mothers love does not half, it doubles. It's so very true.

thornykate · 10/03/2011 21:04

babybond told us we were having another DS.
they were wrong & with hindsight it did seem like the sonographer couldnt be bothered looking very well.

wasn't bothered what I was having as after 3 boys I quite liked being a MOB only wanted to find out for practical reasons but after babybond saying it was a boy I sort of bonded with the boy & we gave him a name etc so it was v strange when the NHS scanned me weeks later & said she's a girl. Now I keep feeling that I will need another baby after this one as I was so expecting another boy if that makes sense?

Original poster

babybumpx · 10/03/2011 21:24

oh please dont say that to me, ive just grabbed my partners arm and gasped and looked at him as if to say "see they could be wrong"

I tried to get the photos up on here but it was taking so long!!

Ive got another scan in 4 weeks, so we will find out, could you see anything at all protruding from the genitalia area??????

OP posts:

thornykate · 10/03/2011 22:35

well I think part of the cord may have been hanging down between baby's legs on #1 scan but TBH it didn't look like the others where there were obvious testicles....I gather it is easier to spot girls as there will be lines (labia) there, these were pointed out on the next scan.

Can't remember if it was on MN but I recall seeing example scan pics somewhere & it showed what to look for really clearly.

lollystix · 10/03/2011 23:17

Sorry - I have had some wine - your title suggests this is potentially ds3 but your other post later in the thread infers you may only have ds1 and this could be ds2. I am mum of 3 boys and understand completely your feelings. Give yourself time- I think it's something that takes a while. Ds3 is almost 1 and I still think about the daughter I'll never have however I really wouldn't change him for the world. There really is something lovely about 3 brothers plus you'll always be the princess in your house. I would love a fourth and actually I now feel I would like a ds again and it's got nothing to do with the boring practicality of having all the boy stuff etc.

Original poster

babybumpx · 11/03/2011 10:11

ah sorry I have a step son and my son so this baby will make it 3...sorry for confusion.

Im going to wait for the next scan to confirm there findings :)

OP posts:

buttonmoon78 · 11/03/2011 10:33

There's no shame in feeling this way. There are so many threads (there was one just this or last week) about gender disappointment.

Let yourself grieve. It's not that you're disappointed your baby is a boy, it's that you're sad he's not a girl. They are two different things. Don't rush things and by the time he's born, your baby will be the most important thing, not what is or isn't between his legs.

I hope for your sake that you also find out at your NHS scan that it's a girl but please please don't get your hopes up. It's more likely that it's a boy I would say.

Be kind to yourself and take it easy.

Zipitydoda · 11/03/2011 11:54

Don't feel bad about feeling this way. There have been several threads
On the same topic lately. I am 28 weeks expecting DS3 and felt incredible unexpected disappointment at the scan; ashamed to say I cried afterwards. I felt awful that I felt this way but since found out that gender disappointment is very common.
It took a few days to get over these feelings and now I am really excited about meeting my son and making our boy-gang. It was never a case of not wanting/loving him. I do still feel occasional pangs for a girl and think about the daughter I will probably never have and I hope these will diminish over time. I have to remind myself how blessed I am.

nicolamumof3 · 11/03/2011 17:05

I have three lovely boys myself and am pg for the fourth time. Despite this pg being totally different and ms still very present even now at 21+6 was shocked to find out our fourth is apparently a girl. I see myself most definitely as a mum of boys you see.

thornykate · 11/03/2011 19:09

nicolamumof3 this is just like me & it is very strange to find out dc4 is going to be a girl, I have been MOB for nearly 16 years so this feels very new to me.

I still feel a bit icky at 29 weeks which I never had before with the boys.

facefull · 11/03/2011 19:37

Im expecting 5th boy. This was a last ditch attempt at a girl and I cried as soon as I left my 20 week scan. I kind of saw all my dreams of girly time with a daughter just wash away. But hey ho, will love him no matter what anyway!

DaisyDaresYOU · 11/03/2011 21:39

It's 3lines for a girl yeah.From what I heard they can get a girl wrong but not a boy.Which is why my mw she cant say 100percent dd was a girl But told me dc1 a boy was defentley a boy,well you could see everything lol

DaisyDaresYOU · 11/03/2011 21:48

I think you should accept dc is gunna be a boy and grief for a girl,i think if you convince yourself it's girl it may make you feel worse when it comes out a boy.Don't mean that horribly btw just that if you accept it now you'll feel better for when ds arrives.Theres nothing wrong in feeling dissapointed.

DaisyDaresYOU · 11/03/2011 21:56

Oh btw I always wanted a girl.Struggled to concieve found out dc was gunna be a boy did feel dissapointed but once they are placed into your arms you do forget and just love the little person you have created.Just think you'll have big strong men to protect you when they are older :) good luck

Original poster

babybumpx · 16/03/2011 09:39

Thank you all very much for your comforting comments, I am feeling alot better about the situation :)

I've been looking at baby boy clothes, to be honest it does annoy me that when it comes to boys clothing there really isnt that much!

OP posts:

clouiseg · 16/03/2011 10:30

I had 3dds and longed for a boy. But in all honesty I adore having 3 the same flavour! The colour scheme is a breeze, activities etc are easier to plan and I'm comforted that they will be close when they are older for having so much in common.

As it is despite being adamant we didn't want any more (one DD is disabled so we have our hands very full!) I am 32 weeks with dc4....a little boy. I was shocked/sceptical/happy when I found out the gender and am obviously excited. But it'll be so strange having a boy! Clothes are harder to find...names have been a nightmare..and GOD knows how the sleeping arrangements will pan out!!

I'm still expecting him to pop out with a little tuppence instead of the boy bits but the beauty of it is whatever the sex, they just fit!

Please don't feel bad, I actually admire you for sharing your feelings. . x

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