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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Some people!

16 replies

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 09/03/2011 18:58

Argh!
Some people are just so rude.

I appreciate that some people just see "OMG, you're huge!" as a way of telling you that your baby is growing well.

I hear it every day, I let it wash over my head.

This elderly lady who runs a shop in our tiny town sees me maybe every two weeks at the post office when we're both posting our ebay business stuff. I'm used to hearing it from her. Today, she greeted me with "Are you STILL pregnant?! You are MASSIVE! I am starting to worry about you!" I told her that my due date wasn't for another 6 weeks. "Oh, I feel so sorry for you, being as big as you are, it must be terrible!"
I'm usually a size 6-8, and currently, comfortably wear non maternity sizes 8-12 depending in the make, despite a 34 week bump. Which is by no means huge (I'm actually measuring the same as with DC1 who was 6lbs at term)
I'm not in any pain, I can still tie my own shoe laces and shave my legs and ladygarden without causing a bloodbath.

Another lady who runs a baby shop in our town said to me today "You are huge, sure you aren't having twins?" Nope, I'm sure. "Well, you are quite fat now, maybe you're having a huge baby." Nope. "Oh, maybe just a lot of water, then." WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST?!

And breathe.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eaglewings · 09/03/2011 19:01

Oh to get into 8 - 12 without a bump!

Strange how we become public property and the normal rules about chat disappears

Original poster

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 09/03/2011 19:04

With my friends I don't mind replying things like "thanks, you are huge, too.", but with semi-strangers I feel the terrible need to be polite-ish. although today I was borderline.

OP posts:

IsItMeOr · 09/03/2011 19:06

Oh my goodness, sounds like you're meeting some very odd people. I wonder if your bump seems more noticeable on your otherwise petite frame?

But if you're feeling good, ignore, ignore, ignore.

If you're feeling evil, I would point out to the lady running the baby shop that she isn't going to get much repeat custom with that salesmanship...

nancydrewfoundaclue · 09/03/2011 19:11

I am quite petite and so when pregnant I am all bump - I think it makes my pregnancy all the more noticeable and people cannot resist commenting.

Try not to let it get you down - as you know the comments get so much more personal once baby arrives!

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 09/03/2011 19:14

Really, you can't win! I had virtually no bump at all with DD and had everyone and their pet cat comment on that. I think, as eagle says, becoming pregnant is to become public property in every way possible...

Original poster

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 09/03/2011 19:47

you're right.

at least, this time I seem to be walking around with a scary face or something, because only one person has dared to touch my bump without asking.

the thing with the comments is that I find them easy to ignore once baby is born, because I always did everything my way. I could easily ignore the "He'll still be attached to your boobs when he's 12", "he'll choke if you don't puree" and "he'll suffocate in that sling/your bed" and "you're spoiling him".

Maybe it's the fact that as an almost-student midwife I've become a little more sensitive to people's speculations. When you're pregnant, everyone suddenly thinks they are an expert on pregnancy.

Is it really that much of a surprise that you get a big bump when you are heavily pregnant?

OP posts:

clouiseg · 09/03/2011 20:43

"At least I have an excuse for being curvier than usual"

"Thank goodness I care more about growing a baby than how I look"

Works a treat every time!!

LittleMissSnowShine · 09/03/2011 20:50

Hospital only told me the day before my due date that they were concerned the baby was going to be quite big (DS ended up being 8lbs 8oz) and when I was in labour the midwives kept saying things about what a huge bump I had. Not exactly reassuring

In the end, DS was a very long baby and he was lying in a slightly funny way towards then end getting ready for delivery so it made my bump look massive too and I can sympathise!! The last thing anyone wants to hear with 6 weeks to go is how massive you are

LittleMissSnowShine · 09/03/2011 20:52

PS) IvySedai - is that a wheel of time reference? i've just got hooked on those books!!!

Janus · 09/03/2011 20:56

Snap!
I am also small frame, 8-10, and am now 36 weeks and so far, I think, I have had about 5 different, random, don't know them from Adam, ask me if I'm having twins! Others just say I'm huge but I am ALL bump, I have actually (this time!) put very little weight on elsewhere and even I recognise I look odd!
I can"t even be bothered to fight it anymore, I just say 'yeah, I look bloody ridiculous'!!

MrsBloomingTroll · 09/03/2011 21:07

FWIW, I wasn't even that big in my last pregnancy and people still said the same to me.

The woman in the corner shop was the worst, but I later realised she was mixing me up with someone else who lived nearby, looked a bit like me and was due around the same time (but who was much bigger).

Maybe the older generation just used to hide away during their "confinement" and so they aren't used to seeing ladies with bumps?

CharlieTango · 09/03/2011 22:04

You can't win - DS was 9lbs 6oz and am nearly 37 weeks with DD. Sooooo many people have commented on bump size (38cm at 35 weeks)and it was getting me down in the late twentysomething/early thirtysomething weeks - I really don't need to know if you think I'm 'about to pop' or 'having twins'!! Why can't people just say 'You look well' or 'What a lovely bump!'??? My strategy this time round is to mention that DS was a biggish baby and that DH is 6" 2" and second babies are bigger than the first, then to look like I might burst into tears. That usually stops them going any further (did feel like poking them in the eyes though for being so bloody rude)

theressomethingaboutmarie · 10/03/2011 09:06

Yes frustrating isn't it? My 'charming' SIL told me that my bump wasn't very big but that I was certainly getting "very broad in the beam", i.e. a fat arse. I only just stopped myself from swearing at her.

DitaVonCheese · 10/03/2011 10:16

You have my sympathies - I think a lot of the time people just want to have something to say, but that does sound a bit OTT.

Last time I was pg my mum told me several times, including in front of other people, that she thought my bump was all cake, not baby - this was when I was about 28 weeks. Er no, generally speaking, having a baby in there tends to make it stick out a bit I know it's more about her than about me so just ignored it - by the time I'd resolved to say something to her next time she said it (I'm bad at sticking up to my mum!) she stopped saying it. Gah.

Original poster

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 10/03/2011 10:55

littlemisssnowshine yes, it is! My addiction first started in school, around the time Crossroads came out. We're getting so close to the end now I can taste it!

I quite often say "It's all pies" or something like that, when someone comments, even though I haven't put on that much weight, it's all bump.
I wonder what they are going to say when I go two weeks overdue and actually start looking a bit bigger...

OP posts:

Paranoid1stTimer · 10/03/2011 11:41

It's bloody rude isn't it.
Over the years I have realised (also from being PG myself) that not that many people have actually seen a woman who is at or nearing the due date. You tend to forget just how big your bump gets towards the last weeks and you NEVER see a truly fully PG woman on any tv show (apart from RL ones of course) or in movies. They all seem to push the baby out at the size of a 6 month bump.

Not sure how you're meant to handle it without losing it and being really rude back to them but why do they get away with such bitchy comments when you are expected to take it?

Sigh.

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