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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

attention seekers

71 replies

Scouseem · 08/03/2011 18:46

Right I might be just hormonal as I'm 28weeks with DC3 but omg I need to vent.

My friend is pregnant and Im fed up with the drama already. She said she weren't telling anyone then threw a whole hissy fit because people found out because she told so many people then she told me she's 5weeks but went for scan today and now she's telling people it says the baby stopped growing at 5weeks but she should be 7weeks. Is it just me or is all this a bit weird? Why would you lie about something like that? An now she's had to take time of work to rest.

Isn't the joy of being pregnant exciting enough without having to make extra drama.

OP posts:

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Original poster

Scouseem · 08/03/2011 20:56

I think it is wrong that she is telling people something that she believes is untrue, she still thinks she's only 5weeks but is telling people that her midwife said she is 7weeks from last period so now people are very worried about something which is not strictly true.

Is it not wrong for her to be telling people something worrying that she knows is more then likely not true and actually leaving out the bit about her dates being wrong and just telling people her baby has stopped growing?

She has done things like this before but surely its wrong to make people worry just for some sympathy when its something as serious as this.

OP posts:

no1childminder · 08/03/2011 21:00

oh my gosh she sounds like someone i know! she is such a drama queen and everything has to be about her, and when she was pregnant it just escalated! she had a bleed very early on in her 3rd pregnancy, went to a&e and asked them if theres a chance it was twins and she's lost one and they said well yes theres always that chance but as its so early on we wont ever know. she then went on to tell nearly everyone she met that shes lost a twin. she even told her other 2 DD's (5+6yrs old) that mummy had 2 babies in her tummy but now only has one??? it doesnt end there. she had a miscarriage before her 3rd DD and tells people she cant carry boys, just because she had a miscarriage and thinks the bleed with DD#3 was a miscarriage, and thinks they must of been boys because she has 3 girls. i dont know how she came up with these conclusions!

nunnie · 08/03/2011 21:02

I don't understand what you mean by wrong, if the midwife is going by her last period and is classing her at 7 weeks, and the scan shows a smaller fetus then yes the dates may well be wrong, but there is a possibility there is a problem too. And like most people it is hard to be positive and not let it worry you.
This shouldn't be about other people worrying this should be about your FRIEND (your words).
Why do you have a problem with the sympathy she is getting anyway?

Original poster

Scouseem · 08/03/2011 21:05

No1childminder its shocking how people can act like that isn't it. I just don't understand it.

I'm still there for my friend and always will be but sometime you just need a rant and sometimes mumsnet is the place to do it even if people do think I'm a bitch.

Amazes me how many complusive liars there is and they don't seem to mind if people are hurt by there lies or cause needless worry.

People are really happy for her to be pregnant so don't understand the extra attention seeking.

OP posts:

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 08/03/2011 21:06

She has done things like this before

Examples please

< gets judgy pants out just in case >

WorzselMummage · 08/03/2011 21:07

you seem jealous that she's getting all the attention.

Original poster

Scouseem · 08/03/2011 21:10

My problem is that this baby was planned so she obv was charting ovulation etc so that's why she thinks she's 5weeks. She has long cycles so that's why her midwife said 7weeks.

So she went scan thinking she was 5weeks so when they said she's only measuring 5weeks which matched her dates but she's telling people now that she's 7weeks and the baby stopped growing.

OP posts:

Noddyrocks · 08/03/2011 21:10

I am surprised she has had an appointment and a scan by 5-7 weeks. I am nearly 8 weeks with a clotting problem (high risk) and I only got my booking in appt on friday and still havent seen a midwife or anyone who will be in charge of my care.
We dont know if she is lying, maybe she is just very worried and scared but I think it is unfair if there was no serious problem to have a scan at 5 weeks when others have to wait much longer.

lockets · 08/03/2011 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nunnie · 08/03/2011 21:11

Obviously? I tried for 4 years with my 1st adn over 2yrs with my 2nd and never charted once, so no it isn't abvious at all.

Noddyrocks · 08/03/2011 21:12

Scouse - so did she date the pregnany from the day she ovulated? If so she will be 7 weeks because the midwife will date her from her LMP (2 weeks before Ovulation) I think she has probably go her dates mixed up herself.

midori1999 · 08/03/2011 21:13

Oh honestly! Why do you assume she was 'obv charting ovulation' just because she was TTC? I have never once charted when TTC and although I have had rather a few planned pregnancies, have only used OPK's once too.

If she's such a compulsive liar, why bother being freinds with her?

Original poster

Scouseem · 08/03/2011 21:16

I know she charted it that why. oh i give up, im a awful friend and should just let her go around upsetting people telling people stuff she knows is untrue.

Sometimes i find mumsnet such a awful place.

Thank you to everyone who understand what i was trying to get at instead of jumping all over me.

OP posts:

nunnie · 08/03/2011 21:22

You didn't say you knew for definate, you said it was planned so obviously.

Scouseem · 08/03/2011 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midori1999 · 08/03/2011 21:28

It sounds to m elike you are changing your story now. And jealous of the attention she is probably getting.

I really hope her baby is OK.

confuddledDOTcom · 08/03/2011 21:51

This is reminding me of a row I've had elsewhere this week. I changed details of a story to make it deliberately different whilst getting my point over and got stick for it.

It sounds like she has long cycles and knows it but is using the LMP to effect. Not sure what the resting is about, if you're going to miscarry it's inevitable and nothing you'll do will prevent that.

As for why is she telling people this early on. I also have a clotting disorder, have less than 20% chance of carrying a baby and have never carried to term, 5th pregnancy here and I only have two living children, but as soon as I know I'm pregnant I still tell people. I've never seen the point in hiding it. Do you realise the brilliant chance you have of actually carrying a baby? I wish my chance was as bad as yours!

Noddyrocks · 08/03/2011 21:59

Confuddled, I completely agree. Do you have APS?
I have heard so many devasting stories recently in looking into this disorder. I met a woman just yesterday in the hospital who had had 8 m/c. I dont actually have the disorder (have recently been tested) but clotted after last pregancy, I have to have another scan next week as Dr suspects another is forming)
I had an m/c at 12 weeks and tbh the feotus was still very small and I hardly felt anything so I am unsure why she would need to rest this much also.
I think she probably is going ott with this.

Noddyrocks · 08/03/2011 22:03

And I dont mean to trivialise miscarriage even in its early days but stories like the above put it in perspective.

confuddledDOTcom · 08/03/2011 22:21

I do, Noddy. I was fortunate that because my baby was born alive at 20 weeks I was tested before I lost anymore babies (healthy babies aren't miscarried, unhealthy babies don't survive birth).

Have you been seen by a rheumatologist? Even if you're testing negative you can have the disease, it's not a positive/negative type test (I am so fed up of telling doctors!!!) the whole picture is important with it. I always test "borderline positive" which doctors who aren't well educated in it pick up on, but I have two other autoimmune diseases and been having TIAs since I was 13 (although looking at school pictures recently I think I had one earlier than that as half my face is dropped in them all). Not to mention loads of other silly little symptoms that you tend to ignore until you know what they are!

midori1999 · 08/03/2011 22:25

confuddled, why have they said you have a less than 20% chance of carrying a baby to term? I also have APS and am awar ethe figure is around 20% without medication, but my haematologist has told me it is 80-90% with asprin/clexane.

Queenofthehill · 08/03/2011 22:27

Surely it's up to her what she wants to tell the world, truth or lie. Snore. You're on a hiding to nothing if you start fretting so much about other people's doings.

Noddyrocks · 08/03/2011 22:28

I saw a haemotologist Confuddled, tested positive first time,borderline second and negative third time (Lupus anticoagulant) so was sort of written off! I also had a couple of superficial with no specific cause (no varicous veins etc) I did read up quite a lot on it whilst I was being tested, but I don't think alot of Dr's know much about it do they?

confuddledDOTcom · 08/03/2011 22:31

I have no chance of carrying to term, they've told me this baby will come in May (I'm due 11/7) I was talking about miscarriage rate and yes you're right it does completely reverse when you're on medication, however you have to get the medication and I always end up not knowing I'm pregnant until I'm past 8 weeks which is one of the highest risk times, it took me two weeks to get a prescription for the needles and a lot of phone calls! I ended up with my referral being sent to the director to speed things up. So I spent 6 weeks (not counting the 4 weeks where I either hadn't conceived yet and the after it where if I was having a cycle I wouldn't have known I was pregnant yet) with an 80% chance of miscarrying.

midori1999 · 08/03/2011 22:42

Crikey, that all sounds quite mismanaged! I was told to be on asprin whilst TTC and then to see my GP re: the clexane as soon as I got my BFP. I saw the GP at what would have been about CD24 (got my BFP at CD21) asked for the prescription, she rang my haematologist secretary to confirm and I had the clexane the next day.

What reason have they given you won't carry to term, is it APS related? (sorry if I am being too nosey, tell me to sod off!) I'm due on 5/7, so am 23 weeks otday. Am very nervous as had my twins at 23+5.

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