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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Do I tell my mum?

14 replies

PrincessCheeks · 08/03/2011 18:17

I'm around 5-6 weeks pregnant and am dying to tell my mum but am holding off in case the worse happens.....my sis had a very bad miscarriage and don't want to raise hopes until its more certain...
but i never keep anything from my mum and am finding it tough?
Do I tell her? What did you do?

OP posts:
MickyLee · 08/03/2011 18:19

I told my mum straight after DH. You need to tell people close to you for support i think.

Congratulations

TotorosOcarina · 08/03/2011 18:21

If you did misscariage would you tell her you had lost a baby?

If yes, then tell her you are pregnant because she would find out regardless of how the pregnancy works out.

Congratulations, I'm sure it will all be fine :)

CuppaTeaJanice · 08/03/2011 18:24

She's been pregnant herself and presumably helped your sister through her miscarriage, so she'll know nothing is for certain. Plus you'll need her support if the worst happens. I'd tell her.

kampakat · 08/03/2011 18:24

I told my mum the first time when we were 8 weeks but then had a mc at 12 weeks. I am really close to my mum and although it was great to have her support through my mc this time I decided that it was easier to wait.

So, we told no-one until we had had our 12 week scan, and even then we only told a few people, we told the world after our 20 week scan.

But...you should always do what you feel is right for you, we are all very different!

Congratulations and wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy! Grin

daimbardiva · 08/03/2011 20:40

I had a miscarriage last year, and wished I'd told my mum I was pregnant - because I didn't want to suddenly tell her I'd miscarried iyswim. I'm now pregnant again (yay!) so told her at about 6 weeks this time,but told her about the mc at the same time, which took the edge of it a bit!

So, in summary, yes,I think you should tell her (if you cantrust her to keep it toherself of course!)

Noddyrocks · 08/03/2011 20:46

I have just told my parents today at nearly 8 weeks and she said to me 'why didnt you tell us last time we phoned!'
Go ahead and tell her, you can always tell her not to tell anyone else for a while.

Chynah · 08/03/2011 20:54

I never told mine and did have a mc and was so glad I hadn't told anyone. I didn't tell anyone (incluing mum)until 14-16 weeks with the following 2 pregnancies either. Was what was right for us.

bessie26 · 08/03/2011 21:19

We didn't tell anyone until after the 12wk scan. My mum worries enough & I didn't want her worrying about MC. When pg's 2&3 ended in MC I was very glad we hadn't told anyone. (now 35wks!)

Sorry all this talk of MC is really depressing! You're much more likely to NOT have one! You just need to decide if you would want her to know if you did MC.

Congratulations!

MrsBloomingTroll · 08/03/2011 21:29

Yes, tell your mum, assuming she is someone who can/would look after/support you (at least emotionally) if the worst did happen.

We told close family both times before the 12-week scan. Not least because coping with morning sickness and tiredness at family events is awful if no one else knows. At least this way she/they can support you.

Congratulations!

confuddledDOTcom · 08/03/2011 22:01

I've never held off on telling anyone (apart from my stepchildren but that was because they don't see me very often so we didn't want it dragged out too much for them) and I'm a high risk pregnancy. My chances of carrying a baby are less than 20%, I've lost half of my pregnancies so far, pregnant again and always delivered prematurely. You have a fantastic chance of carrying a baby, I wish I had as good a chance as you!

Enjoy your pregnancy Smile

knittymum · 09/03/2011 11:00

I told my mum straight away this time. I didn't the other two times because she lived 100 miles away, and I knew that she'd worry without being able to see me and know if I was OK or not (on the phone's just not the same!). But this time I told her as soon as I suspected myself, because she's only just down the road now and it's lovely to have another woman to share all the happiness and worries with.

eastegg · 09/03/2011 12:06

I think it depends on what sort of person your mum is. Like bessie's mum, mine's a worrier and I didn't want her to be on tenterhooks with us waiting for the scan. It was to spare her from that, rather than actually knowing about an MC if I'd had one.

KatieWatie · 09/03/2011 12:17

I'm 'sparing' my mum as well. I know it'll be the best thing that's happened to her in about 10 years, and if something went wrong it would devastate her. I had a MC in December so I'm probably overly wary (she didn't know about that, nor the pregnancy)

Trouble is they live 250 miles away and I've tried to avoid seeing them for the past 9 weeks (We're all big drinkers so it would be obvious!), but now they're sulking about me not visiting and have invited themselves down. So I'm going to have to tell them before I wanted to anyway. C'est la vie.

doodledee · 09/03/2011 15:30

I had a mc at 8 weeks and my mum (or any family member) don't know about it. Told a few close friends several months later. It was week before Xmas 2009 and didn't see the point telling them - they didn't know i was pg so why upset them by telling them i was but i'm now not. Me and hubby dealt with it ourselves - very personal choice though x

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