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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you / will you tell work?

26 replies

KatieWatie · 08/03/2011 15:42

I think I'm about 9 weeks but haven't had any scans or midwife appts yet (got my first mw appt tomorrow).

I haven't told work yet, and I'm not sure when you're supposed to. I know officially they have to know by 25 weeks, but I think I'll have to tell them before because it's going to be odd me keeping having "doctor's appointments" all the time isn't it? (considering I'm very healthy generally and haven't had time off sick or a medical appointment in years).

I do flexi-time, and manage my own time anyway, but I did run tomorrow's "doctor's appointment" past my manager just to be polite. He looked really sympathetic and said he hoped I got well soon, and now I feel really bad and feel like I've lied when I haven't

So what did everyone else do?

OP posts:

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ToriaPumpkinHead · 08/03/2011 15:47

I had to tell work straight away as I work with chemicals that can cause miscarriage and harm unborn children, but otherwise I'd have waited til I'd had my scan I think. Having said that I only work part time so getting days off for Drs appointments is pretty easy. I know my OH (a teacher) is struggling to keep finding reasons why I've got so many Drs appts (we car share so he has to organise lifts etc when I need the car) At the moment I think I have an underactive Thyroid

ecuse · 08/03/2011 15:49

I told them about 16 or 17 weeks when I thought I was starting to show (but after decisions on redundancies and promotions had been taken!). I felt bad for leaving it so late (because didn't want to miss out on potential promotion) but my boss expressed surprise that I'd done it "so early" and said others don't tell him until well into the 20-sth weeks. It does make it easier for doctors appointments etc once you've told them.

theborrower · 08/03/2011 15:50

I was also on flexi (still on mat leave at moment!) and told work when I had my appointment for my 14 week scan as I needed the morning off. You get paid time off for antenatal appointments so it seemed the right time to tell. I also had to say because I do heavy lifting in my job sometimes and didn't wan to do it anymore (was feeling achy in my tummy muscles). Bear in mind too that your employment rights only kick in once you tell them you're pregnant - you're not protected until then so it does make sense to tell them sooner rather than later.

ethelina · 08/03/2011 15:52

After my 12 week scan.

oggybags · 08/03/2011 17:20

15 weeks after first nhs scan, had private ones at 9 & 12 tho!! just finished for mat leave and many people commented on how quick its been & size of me (small / neat / huge depending on who it was!!)as they were used to people saying about 10-12 weeks!

babytrekkie · 08/03/2011 17:33

I told my employer straight away! I work in the TV industry for the BBC, as a multi-skilled technical operator in a fairly big team, doing shift work and its a stressful job. My maternal instincts kicked in straight away and I pretty much told my boss that I didn't want to do any earlies/lates until at least my 12 week scan. But insisted that she keeps it to herself. Which she did. My rota was changed without any questions from my colleagues. Also I felt that someone was looking out for me when I was at work just in case something happened. I had to do the best for my baby. Work comes last.

curlyeve · 08/03/2011 17:40

my boss guessed by 6 weeks because I was soo sick but I would have waited till at least 12 weeks if I could have

doodledee · 08/03/2011 17:43

Told my boss at 18 weeks - still not had my risk assessment and now 32 weeks!

OnEdge · 08/03/2011 17:47

I had to tell my boss immediately because I worked where they did portable X rays. She was eating Muesli at the time and nearly choked, I had only been in the post for 4 weeks

I had been TTC for a year following the loss of a baby. Everyone else I told was hugging me and jumping up and down, I just expected the same off her but erm..... nope, she asked me if it was planned, was in a very difficult situation then, hard to explain. I had taken the job as part of my getting back on my feet to help cope with grief. Very embarrassing.

CointreauVersial · 08/03/2011 17:48

With DS1 my boss guessed at around 15 weeks, because we went on a business trip to France and I refused the red wine.

With DD1 (different job) I kept it very quiet for as long as possible, due to the fact that I was already pg when I started the job. Luckily I managed to hide things until I was nearly 6 months; I was taken into a meeting to "discuss my future" and trumped my boss by resigning on the spot, and I was out the door within a fortnight.

With DD2 I wasn't working - phew!

Tell them as late as possible.

excitedLJ · 08/03/2011 17:52

unfortunately I had to tell my boss today. I am only 4 + 2 but got brown blood this morning and made an emergency docs appt and left. I got really upset and actually sobbed on the phone to my male boss after seeing the doctor. He was great though and said I should take as much time as I need so my mum thinks I shouls take this week off and just go for my blood tests. I think it's probably a good idea as I still dont want everyone else at work to know but definitely wish I didn't have to say something so soon.

MissLolita · 08/03/2011 18:04

I would wait as long as possible xxx

saldoozer · 08/03/2011 19:49

I tell them 2 days after i found out as being a radiographer means you are legally obliged to tell your manager and also so i didn't have to do the slightly riskier parts of my job.

MissCalamity · 08/03/2011 19:57

I waited until after my 12 week scan, as I wanted to make sure everything was ok. Although I wish I did it in a more dignified manner as I went in on the Monday morning after the scan on Friday afternoon and nothing was working in the office, my colleague was on holiday and people were mithering me already before 9am!!

I ended up going into my boss's office and bursting into tears, and said "I wouldn't normally be this hormonal but I'm pregnant" (That got people off my back for oohh, 10 minutes?!)

Depends how you're feeling though, if you've got to run to the loo every so often to be sick and people are noticing and commenting it may be easier to tell...

blondieminx · 08/03/2011 22:18

I told my boss at 15 weeks (after bonus had been notified) but the girls n the office had already guessed me cos I had a bump from 8 weeks!

Icoulddoitbetter · 08/03/2011 22:29

I'm only 6 weeks but nearly told my boss today as I was feeling sooooooo rotten at work. I quickly pulled myself back as I've only been back from mat leave since november so I don't think she'll be very pleased .

If I can get through the next few weeks with no time off, then I'll probably tell them just before the first scan so I can get time off. If I need to take time off before then, I'll tell them, as pg related sickness doesn't go on your sick record.

I reckon someone will guess though before then .

Bobby99 · 09/03/2011 10:11

I told my boss at about 10 weeks because I felt I needed to explain why I would need the whole afternoon off for my 12 weeks scan because I worked a long way away from the hospital. Was a bit worried about it as I had taken a promotion a week before I found out I was pregnant, but my boss was lovely about it. Told my colleagues after the 12 week scan and was amazed that all but one seemed astonished by my news. I thought they must have all guessed from my sudden lack of apetite and the sick bucket in the car, but apparently not!

LDNlady · 09/03/2011 10:28

I told mine when I was about six weeks. I would have waited but suffered terribly with morning sickness for a while and there were some mornings when I was running late due to not being able to leave the toilet until I felt well enough to get on the tube. So it was purely just so she understood I wasn't sleeping in all the time.

daimbardiva · 09/03/2011 10:37

LAst time I told my boss at 7 weeks. This time I'm holding off till at least the 12 week scan as I miscarried at 6 weeks a few months ago, and also there's all sorts of stuff going on at work just now, and I don't want to miss out on potential promotion opportunities because I'm pregnant (I know legally they couldn't do this, but I'm sure it would influence decions-making somehow

mamamona · 09/03/2011 11:23

I told my work place straight away so that I was protected by the maternity rights. My job is quite physically demanding so I had to tell them to get a risk assessment done quickly to alter my duties. It really depends on the nature of your work. Also for all of the antenatal appointments I was given the paid time off to attend. Without letting them know you may have to use your flexi or take a day off...

NewMummy5July2011 · 09/03/2011 12:57

I told my work quite early - around 7 weeks. I had only just started (on a contract/temporary basis). I suffered alot in early pregnancy with sickness/fatigue, and I had to commute quite a long way. Plus, because I was new, I didn't want them to think I was really moody/groucy/tired/uninterested!

In the end I was SO glad I did, they were brilliant, really flexible and I was able to leave early on the days I felt I just couldn't cope. Most of my colleagues however are older than me with children of their own, and men I might add, and I have been looked after and treated really well. Plus they all understood from their own experience with pregnant wives how difficult the first trimester can be.

I think it really depends on what your work is like, and what kind of job you do. I'm still contracting for them and will be until I'm 34 weeks. Other friends of mine who have been pregnant have always told at least one person at work they can trust to have that support if they need to.

Really personal choice though, no right or wrong answer. xx

SerenaJoy · 09/03/2011 14:10

I told my line manager in confidence at about 9 weeks. I was pretty sure she'd guessed anyway (I was practically living in the loo due to morning sickness) so I figured I might as well come clean and not have to stress about getting the time off for appointments etc. I told everyone else after the 12 week scan.

However, if you'd rather keep it quiet, I think it's the one time you're allowed to tell some white lies so I wouldn't feel bad about that - once your colleagues knows the real reason they'll understand.

haloflo · 09/03/2011 14:19

I told managers at work at 13 weeks & everyone else at 15 weeks (just as I was starting to show!) but if you tell them earlier you can have time off work for antenatal appointments which won't come out of your flexi. Could you tell your manager in confidence?

Up to you though, I just had "appointments" out of my flexi at first too.

Original poster

KatieWatie · 09/03/2011 14:44

Thanks all. Consensus seems to be 12+ weeks if you can wait that long and aren't ill all the time (I'm not - I hardly remember I'm pregnant half the time).

There's a lot going on at my company (redundancies, reshuffling etc.) and I'm just concerned that they might use it in the decision-making process even though they shouldn't... but that's life isn't it. The longer I wait the better really.

Thanks all.

OP posts:

LittleWhiteWolf · 09/03/2011 15:29

With DD I told my boss at 10 weeks as I'd been ill, then after my scan I told everyone else.

This time around I'm in no hurry. I've told a few of my closest work mates so I know someone's in the know just in case, but we're having a huge change around and lots of jobs are changing. I've lost out on a job I was getting as the person I job share with is moving away in the summer and a few people are leaving and one is having an op which means she'll be off for months. I'm in no rush to demonstrate my perfect timing!

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