first time advice?

[Charleigh0]

I am quite nervous as this is my first baby, especially about labor. Is there any women that feel the same? Or any that have had children and can explain how to prepare/relax etc?!

My hospital haven't been very organised when I have my scans & blood tests, will they pay more attention when I'm in agony?!

Hiya,

I've got 3 daughters and am 8+5 with my 4th baby. They were all natural births.

I don't believe there is a 'mum to be' alive who isn't nervous about labour - wether its their 1st baby or their 12th! :)

I could ramble on for hours about birth and my experiences/thoughts, but i wont 'cos i'd bore you to death. I would say these things though -

Be prepared for it to be painful. Try to prepare to learn to relax through the pain as much as you can.

Wear something you are comfy walking around/laying around in, and that your happy to chuck away 'cos it will get in a mess! SOCKS! My feet (and hands) always got cold for some reason. I got the shivers one minute - and then was boiling hot.

Stay on your feet for as long as you can - gravity is a great help.

Give birth on all fours if you can - lying down means your pushing the baby up hill as well as out!

And yes - you will be much more interesting to the hospital when your finaly in labour, lol, i know just what you mean.

You'll be fine XX

Ok thanks alot! :) x

Hi my best advice is try not to worry (easier said then done) about things that you can't control, labour is different for everyone and you won't know what its like till you have done it so try not spend all pregnancy worrying about it and just enjoy your bundle of joy growing inside you.

I'm 28weeks with DC3 and both my previous labour have been completely different.

Congratulations by the way :)

All good advice here.

I used the 'Natal Hypnotherapy' CDs to relax and prepare pre-birth and then used the music (over and over and over) during labour and found that really worked for me. Might be worth a try if you are worried?

Otherwise, educate yourself as much as you can. Try some NCT classes or other ante-natal classes. It helps to meet and keep in touch with other people who are going through the same thing.

If you educate yourself about all the things that could happen in labour (without scaring yourself), pain relief options and so on, then you can make an informed birth plan but also be prepared to be flexible if something happens and you need to change your mind or deviate from the plan.

Have a birth partner who you trust (your OH, Mum, a doula) who knows what you want but will also look after YOU (wipe your face, get you drinks, whatever you need).

Make sure you go on the hospital tour, if they offer one. Knowing where to go on the day/night is very reassuring.

Do things that will make you feel better about yourself in the run up. I found that having a nice pedicure on my due date and a bikini wax was helpful. Reflexology is nice too.

As the due date gets closer, do everything you can to distract yourself and try to forget about it. Get some good books to read, go to the cinema, meet friends for coffee and lunch.

Good luck!

Ok thankyou, very helpful and will take into consideration :)

Oooh, good post charleigh0

Im a first timer aswell and a bit nervous. I know its going to hurt so im trying not to be a wuss about pain. I slammed my hand in the door the other day and instead of jumping round the room swearing my head off i was trying to do the 'mind over matter' thing and try to forget it, it seemed to work!!

I think its the anticipation thats worse for me personally as obviously i dont know what its going to feel like when my waters break, when to go to hospital and when to stay at home etc but im going to try my best to enjoy it and not scream my head off like some people on one born every minute do!! Bet im the loudest there!!

I second what MrsBloomingTroll said about going to the hospital, i was admitted last week after a big bleed (all fine now) but seeing the delivery suites and being in the ward really helped settle my nerves.

Congrats x

I'm so terrified about childbirth that I've waited til the ripe old age of 34 to start trying. My fear of labour is the ONLY reason for waiting this long, so yes I do understand. I also understand what you are saying about hospitals etc - for me the fear of not being in control, being patronised, being shouted at, not being listened to, staff being disorganised and not communicating with me is actually worse than the fear of the physical pain.

I had some sort of weird epiphany last year where I realised that once I'm pregnant there's not a lot I can do about it and the baby will have to come out, so I might as well just go ahead and do it.

It's my first child too, by the way, and I will definitely be trying all of MrsBloomingTroll's tips (thank you :) )

Congratulations and good luck xx

I don't care what any of the nurses say I'm probably going to scream my head off! Haha. Watching one born every minute is probably not the best idea but I can't resist to watch it anyway!

I think it will also help if I've got good company around me, so my partner better be ready! Hehe :)

Congratulations and good luck to you both xx

Its my first too, I'm 26+3. Before I became pregnant the thought of childbirth was enough to put me off!!
But now, for some reason I'm not that freaked out. I'm obviously anxious as its my first time. Perhaps its hormones kicking in? I've felt her wriggling around inside me, tickling me in places, and my bump is getting nice and big! I'm just enjoying being pregnant. The human body is an incredible thing and I'm still amazed about the whole conception and growth process!! I'm approaching the whole child birth as just the next phase before you see your bundle of joy! And that's just the most incredible feeling ever. I can't wait! x

My advice is to attend some antenatal classes, either the free ones offered by your hospital or the NCT. This has helped me feel prepared :)

Accept now that the birth you get is the birth you get. Plan for and hope for the ideal, consider things that could happen and the choices you might make and know that at this you neither fail nor succeed.

First baby - totally terrified - 33 - due anyday. If one more person says "millions of woman have done it before you" then I will be charged with murder. Keep an eye on those headlines haha.

I am just trying to accept that it will happen and the sooner it does the sooner I can be safely back at home with my baby getting on with things in my own way.

Good luck

don't worry about the disorganisation of the hospital. Mine is absolutely awful at co-ordinating the admin side and I got so annoyed with it last time - things like saying you have to have a scan on a certain day so you can have an immediate followup with a particular Dr and then the scan dept saying there is no space; not answering the phone EVER; receptionists knowing less than me by the end of it about what paperwork you need to extract from the dr or midwife before they send you to pointlessly wait in pathology without it..... When it came to the actual birth and everything though, it was fine. Just try and stay calm through that kind of thing and as others have said, take it a bit at a time.

Be flexible in your birth plan- things will change, you may think now, no pain relief, but on the day, don't punish yourself!

Take a small cool bag in with you for cold drinks/fruit. Some high calorific energy giving food, dried fruits are ideal, honey or short bread too. I also sneaked in a mini bottle of champagne for post birth celebrations!

I pod with a playlist of music you like and you find soothing- I had-

Zero 7, Aim, Jose Gonzales, a lot of the After Dark compilations, The Orb and so on.

On your way to the hospital, go in the back seat of the car where you can spread out and change position.

Stay at home for as long as you can.

If you want to go for a natural birth or to get some good ideas on how to lower your anxiety I really recommend the book "Guide To Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. I read it at about 6 months and it totally inspired me to have a natural birth (before that point I was praying I would end up with a cesarian so I wouldnt have to go through it) I had a really quick (for a first timer) birth and a 9 pound baby boy - I used a tens machine for pain relief (hired from boots) and I also had a doula. I am sure it would have been much more difficult without her help.

Those are my tips! Good luck to you

Hi there,
I really wanted a water birth but ended up having to be constantly monitored so had to sit still on a bed...hmmm...easier said than done!

Having been really anti epidurals when thinking up my birth plan, I was very grateful to have a mobile epidural in those circumstances and actually thought it was brilliant - huge relief and I could still feel my legs. Then let it wear off a bit for the pushing and happily that all went really well!

Basically I would say feel reassured by knowing that should be an option, as in my experience it was like someone waved a magic wand and the pain went away.
Good luck x

Hi there - I was nervous, but to be honest I wasn't really prepared for quite how painful it would be. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I genuinely think i would have coped better if I hadn't been convinced something was wrong because it hurt so much. I do think it's important not to get too worked up about what sort of pain relief you want/whether you want an epi/instrumental delivery/section etc. Try to keep an open mind then the decisions are easier during labour.

And DEFINITELY don't be hesitant to ask for things, ask questions and make your preferences clear in the hospital. Mw's have a lot to think about and won't necessarily anticipate your requirements. All the best!