wedding 1 month (or less) after birth???

[Snakeears]

I'm a first timer so really not sure but a really really good friend is getting married on the 5th November.

The only problem is I'm due on 5/6th October and in fact because of my calculations of vultion date etc. I think it's more likely on the 11th or 12th - am I being ridiculous to think that if I book a room in the hotel they're having the reception then I can still go but sneak off to sleep / feed etc whenever I need...?

Help....

(I haven't told my friend yet - only just 10 weeks tomorrow so going to wait for the scan - I also haven't booked a room or anything)

oops - can't spell ovulation

A neighbour of mine went to her sisters wedding a month after her baby was born, and that was in Italy and she was chief bridesmaid!! It worked out ok as she went a bit early but it could have gone very wrong for her but I guess she figured it was worth the risk.

I think you should definitely go ahead and book the room and plan to go, you can always cancel the room if things don't look like they are going to work out, if the birth is normal you'll feel fine 3-4 weeks later but you might not fit into your old clothes yet so buying an outfit could be tough.

You can go but don't expect to have the best time ever!
You may well still be bleeding after the birth and if you're planning to breastfeed you need clothes you can do that in. You need spare clothes in case of leaking from boobs - even with breast pads it can be a bit full on. If you give birth on your due date or before you'll probably be not bleeding too badly but if baby is late then you could be in the quite heavy stage so you need clothes you are comfy in and a change in case of leaks. I would suggest dark trousrs!
Very young babies sleep a lot and it's perfectly doable as long as feeding is going well. You could be feeding a lot though - so think about you'll manage the meal if that's the case - are you going to be abe to stick them on the boob and keep eating? You might want to factor a shawl or something in to your outfit to give you a bit more privacy. How long is the journey - think about that. Also if you've had stitches or a c-section you may be feeling a bit delicate.
We took dd1 to a wedding at 3 months and my friend took her new dd to one at about 4 weeks. At her own wedding her cousin was there about 1 week after giving birth I think - and in white trousers
It'[s doable - just needs a bit of planning. Tell your mate now you're bringing the baby though - you don't want to get all geared up and then find out it's no babies at all!

Thank you - that's really helpful - this is really superficial but there might be a few tears over the outfit - I'm a nightmare at the best of times - hate shopping!!!

I will def tell my mate - think kids are ok I'm just worried I will be late - d'oh!

Think I will book a room providing the scan is ok and plan on buying a massive black sack!

I have seen a 6 week old at a wedding before but the mum was uber trendy capable type and I'm worried I might be a bit of a mess...!

How long do you tend to bleed after birth?

Oh god - feeling quite real now!!! Eek

My youngest is nearly 4 so I'm struggling to remember really re bleeding but I think it's only a week or two for the heavier stuff then tails off? I'm sure I remember reading up to 6 weeks was possible - therfore with your dates it's just something to bear in mind not hopefully a major issue.

Clothes - you can get some nice breastfeeding tops and with a pair of stretchy but smart trousers (M&S do some v comfortable ones - no buttons or zips!), some flash earrings and as snazzy a pair of shoes you can walk in you'll be fine. You'll have the best accessory there

I am due with my first on 28th May and due to be at my sister in laws wedding on 2nd July ! We live just outside of London and the wedding is in Wales, so it will involve a couple of nights stop over in a hotel. I can imagine it will be a bit of a struggle and my husband is an usher too, so im just hoping he doesn't have to many duties.
Thanks for the tips about clothes, I hadn't really thought about it in that much detail. I have turned down the offer of the pro hairdresser to do my hair from my sister in law, im thinking I will be busy with other things, like a little person !! and won't really care what my hair looks like !!!!
Good luck snakesears, I will let you know how I get on :)

I'm due to be taking photos at a wedding 6-7 weeks post baby eek

I have a 3 week old. For the first 2 weeks no way could I have gone to a wedding (sore from stitches, knackered, trying to work out feeding, bleeding), but now I reckon I could : ) I'm sure it'll be fine, especially if baby is on time and birth goes well. Have fun! You could always buy a posh frock online a week or so before the wedding, but your regular clothes may fit - some of my non-maternity ones do.

I would book it in case but keep an open mind of possibly having to cancel it, so just let your friend be aware of that, cos there's not a lot of time there so worst case senario is probably something like 2 weeks overdue bringing you to almost the end of oct. just thinking of my 1st baby i was late then in hospital for a week due to post natal infection type issues, so something like that or having emcs could end up with you in there slightly longer than anticipated meaning you'd only just be coming home around the time of the wedding BUT you may well be on time, and feeling great and up and about asap so there really is no way to know.

I have a wedding to go to 13 days after my due date. And both my boys were over due.... Am currently shopping for a dress that is flowy and that I can wear a proper bra with. Kind of hoping to wing the wedding in a post delivery haze. I really want to go, so I figure that for a few hours all will be ok. You may be surprised, it may go ok. Definitely check if you can bring the baby, I will be taking mine (sincerely hope she sleeps through the whole thing)

You can do it!! Think positive but realistically.

My main advice would be, if it's a least 2 wks after the birth you will be fine because a) the bleeding should be tailing off or poss even have stopped (it's worse in the first week after birth) and b) it's not a good idea at all to take a new born to gatherings in the first 2 wks because of germs etc.

I'm 38 wks preg with my 4th and have a wedding due 7th April. My friends know we'll come - with the baby - if it's born 2 wks or more before(hoping for any day now as my last one was 3 wks early.

So long as you can breastfeed easily (a two parter rather than a dress so you just lift your top)you can nip off to feed and come back.

And wear dark underwear at least - if you're still really bleeding. (personally I don't think I'd make an effort to avoid light coloured clothes but then again maybe i bleed less than others so don't take that from me!).

Also, make sure you take plenty of bottled water to drink if you're breastfeeding, and snacks too: If there's loads of hanging around with photos etc you'll need some fluids and substenance to keep you going. Oh, and if you're still bleeding take disposable knickers etc!!!

BTW I'm really looking forward to our 7th April wedding (assuming we make it!) Babysitters to have our 3 children and we get to go to a joyous occasion and enjoy our newborn!

Congrats by the way, hope all goes well!

Thank you so much everyone. I will def talk to my mate about possibility of coming or not depending on the birth and when I actually give birth - I am sure she will be fab, excited and completely understanding.

The wedding is about an hour away so should be ok (ish) I think I need to keep an open mind but really want to go so will also be positive - I will book the room and cancel if there is an issue.

Let me know how you get on spud! Thanks everyone x

Snakeears, Bouj I feel your pain. My SIL got engaged a week after I annouced pg. She's set the date for 4 weeks after my due date. Didn't bother me at the time, but now I am slightly grrr.

It's my first so fully expecting to go overdue, which will mean I could give birth two weeks before the wedding. DH is best man, so we're going to be expected to be there with bells on.

Vanity is getting the better of me. I normally like to look good and cannot bear the thought I am going to look fat and generally like shite in pics that I'lll need to look at for years to come. I don't have a dress and am going to use this as an excuse to get out the house (with the help of mum) post-birth. This is making the assumption that I don't have a CS. I'll then have to ask my girly mates to shop on my behalf!! Ahhhh .

The whole blood thing has thrown in more panic. Hadn't thought about that - booger. Have simply been telling myself that with some holdy-inny pants and a blow-dry...ANYTHING is possible. I am obviously kidding myself!

On the plus side, wedding is at in-laws' house so I'll have some home conforts. And let's face it...EVERYONE is going to want to meet our new addition. So it's a good excuse to get the family bit done all in one fell swoop!

My sister is getting married in 3 weeks, my baby was born 3 weeks ago. Third baby, so have got feeding etc all organised. My bleeding has completely tailed off, my boobs are a tad leaky but nothing major. I went and got a nice dress last week am slightly lighter than I was before pregnancy (knew there was an advantage in throwing up for 39 weeks non stop ) The wedding is small and starting at 4pm so not all day affair, we have booked a room at hotel. More concerned about my two older dds and the havoc they are going to cause than the baby . By the way my sister moved up the date of her wedding at Christmas to 6 weeks after my due date so I am winning any martyr awards

My sister had her first baby four weeks before my wedding, she was my bridesmaid and everything was fine. And she had a totally useless, selfish husband at the time.

The only awkward thing was her dress but she didn't put on a lot of pregnancy weight so we took a chance and got her a size bigger than her pre-preg size and it was perfect. If i'd have had dresses made I daresay she could have had a fitting beforehand too.

If it's at a hotel, how about getting a room for the night, just so you have somewhere to go for a bit of quiet? A good thing about a wedding us there's lots of people who would LOVE to give a tiny baby a cuddle and lots of talking/background noise is often pretty soothing for a baby that age. My little nephew slept all the way through dinner and speeches!

Don't want to put a downer on things, but there is no way I could have managed attending a wedding 4 weeks after birth. Normal delivery, no probs, breastfed textbook, BUT fed every 1.5-2 hours from start to start of feeds and fed for 45 mins each time, day and night for the first 6-8 weeks. I thought I was having a good day when I managed to wash my hair and go out for a walk down the street!

It really depends on the baby you get - if they sleep then go for it, but be prepared for the fact that it's OK to have to say sorry, I'm exhausted and can't come.

Hope you make it!

Magnum sounds like your baby was clearly comfort sucking not feeding. Was it your first? Cos it was there's no way you could even think about letting your baby do that with other children around!

I had a normal delivery with DC1 and went to a friend's wedding 10 days after birth. To be honest it was nice to get out the house! Baby was in a sling and I was breastfeeding on demand. Didn't need a lie down or anything as was used to functioning on zero sleep at that point..! No issues at all - not one.

A lot does depend on how you feel and I left it open if we'd be there or not. Lots of people were very surprised to see me!

If you're breastfeeding, chances are high that you'll need to feed a LOT at that stage, so it depends how comfortable you are doing it publicly. That may be hard to gauge before you have the baby though - I didn't think I'd ever feed in public but quickly changed my
mind when I realised how much time I'd be spending on my own.

My sister breastfed at my top table and no one batted an eyelid. After the ceremony (where you could easily feed if you're not part of the wedding party) the dinner (ditto) and a couple of photos (again unless you're part of the wedding party it will probably be only one or two that you're in) then guests are pretty much free to do what they want. If you have a hotel room, you would have a good base for nappies and quiet time.

Even if you do have a constant feeder (mine was too!) I think it's doable as long as you aren't embarrassed about feeding in public. As someone else said, get separates rather than a dress so you don't have too much flesh on display if you don't want it.

Go for it - you won't offend anyone worth being friends with!