Too late to doula and worth it?

[Pootletrinket]

I'm 34 weeks pg with DC #2 - somewhat terrified but relatively happily in denial about the labour. It ended up so over-medicalised and traumatic last time (and I had planned so well with high hopes which all went out of the window and was very upsetting) so this time I've planned/prepared nothing with the view that baby will have to come out!!!

Now I'm wondering if some aromatherapy massage/reflexology or doula support in the last couple of weeks could be useful....

But not sure a) if I've left it too late and b) given that money is tight, where I'd be best spending any 'investment' anyway. Part of me thinks that I was positive, prepared and tried visualisation etc etc last time and it all went wrong anyway and the other part of me thinks it couldn't hurt and maybe I'd get to labour the way women have been doing for thousands of years - ie naturally!

I've been thinking about using a doula too, IMO it depends on what you want out of a doula and which individuals are available nearby. I know what I want from a birthing partner and the doula idea was because I was unsure that my OH would be able to do it (which is another conversation.) In the end I looked for doulas in my area, found that there was only one and they didn't seem to be coming from the same approach as me so I've not done anything more about it. OH has decided he definitely wants to be the birthing partner now anyway, and he knows "it's not a spectator sport" i.e. there's a job to be done with responsibilities!

Here's where I looked for a local doula:
doula.org.uk/

Good luck, and it'd be interesting to hear what you decide

You're right - last time, I had expected not to want to be touched by DH but when the time came, I made him stay with me and he rubbed my back for every contraction (there were many hours' worth) - that said, we were both somewhat bullied by medical people and maybe someone independent would have helped me assert myself more - or maybe that knowledge would help us this time anyway.

I think maybe what I really want is some massage etc to try and make baby come on time (I know, there's no such guarantee)

But I would still be really interested in other people's views - I've found 2 trainee doulas in my area, so know the cost would be capped at £200

I reckon that the money we spent on a doula for my labour with DD is some of f the best we've ever spent. She helped advocate and support but also helped make the birth as untrainable as possible (though I was also lucky in many other ways as t was pretty straightforward overall). Would def recommend having one.

Untraumatic, I mean - sorry for the typo. (can't believe autocorrect changes "untraumatic" into "untrainable"!)

Pootle - the main thing I wanted a doula for was to be my advocate in case my OH wasn't vocal enough "Lionrock doesn't want that! Don't do that without discussing it with her first." I've gone over this so much with my OH that he knows (a) I don't mind if he'd rather be there as a spectator and the doula be the assertive one and (b) he's in deep doggy do if he agrees to be my advocate and then doesn't speak up when he knows he should.

My bg is in medical science and unless there's some medical emergency, I'll be really peeped-off if changes are made to my plans without good reason or without discussing it with me first. I also reckon that my childbiorth preferences document will be forgotten about by whichever midwife attends me. (I'm all for relaxation etc to aid delivery so the environment must be kept calm and I don't want to be asked about pain scales, I'll tell you if I want analgesics thank you don't ask me to think about how much pain I'm in and quantify it! I do not want immediate cord clamping so OH is to watch out for that since I'll be distracted etc etc.)

I had a doula for DD and it was worth every penny. She lifted the burden of responsibility for decisions (especially when to go to hospital) off DH's shoulders. I was having contractions thick and fast and in no state to decide either way!

She also did a great back massage....hit every point of my TENS machine. Bliss!

She was also essential when the going got tough and I had to deviate from my birth plan for the safety of me/DD. I waddled off to the toilet and she came with me and talked me back to the bed and reassured me.

This won't be relevant for you, but prior to the birth she also helped us to explore options for different hospitals.

Lastly, after the birth she came over to our house to offer advice/help and did a debrief with us about the labour and birth, which really helped.

Ours cost £500 a few years back, so £200 is a relative bargain.

Worth a shot, I'd say.

I think fees for trainee doulas are capped at £200. Depending on how far through their training they are this is a definite bargain!

nct do them now too - dont know how much but bet theyd be available if you contact them. think they call themselves something like birthing partners...

Thanks for the feedback, this does sound quite good - had thought I'd want more privacy but also remember huge chunks of last labour when I was wondering where on earth the MW was (ended up on consultant ward where MW:labouring mum = 1:1 but she kept bu**ering off to have a fag!)

Will discuss with DH later!!