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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

So..first time mums and experienced mothers, I have a question :)

43 replies

nurseysclone · 06/03/2011 09:28

I am 19 years old and have always wanted children, while I acknowledge that 19 is far too young, I'd like to know what you all think of when is the right time. I'm not rushing in to anything, as first I need to finish my education, get a job and mortgage. What age did you become pregnant? Were you ready for it? Were you scared? I'm very curious what your superior experience will tell me :)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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LovelyKatie · 06/03/2011 18:26

Iv just turned 21 and due in 4 days with my 1st!

Id love to write that I have a great degree and job behind me and financially secure but I cant. What I can say is that me and my dp are very happy very stable and like Wii have always been wise beyond our years too.

I never went out partying or clubbing and never really was interested in it a perfect friday night for me was seeing my grandparents and enjoying a meal with them!!

I do have a job which I love and cant wait to go back to but I do wish I could have some sort of qualification behind me.

We cant wait for LO to arrive though. :) good luck!

ilovesprouts · 06/03/2011 18:29

i had mine at 21,23 & 38 :)

jasmine51 · 06/03/2011 18:32

Hi
I am 43 with my first and my thoughts on this are;
1 Its fine to wait til your are older....but bear in mind that if things dont work out you might have to throw some serious money at getting it sorted quickly or
2 It may never happen as time runs out
3 Having a successful career first and babies second is great, but at this age it might be that my career is now over. Returning to work is so not appealing and this late in life it would be harder to get recruited.
4 Having life experience and financial security should in theory mean a great up bringing for my LO but my lower energy levels may have an impact. Also my DH is more set in his ways and I can forsee some adapting problems

Having said all that I wouldnt change my experience so far for the world and am as excited as a teenager about my new arrival. Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one 'for you' x

nannyl · 06/03/2011 18:36

I am now pregnant with DC1 due on my 31st Birthday.

Have nannies all my life, but it took me a while to want one 24/7 (giving them back and being paid to so it was good enough for me)

However about a year ago i knew i was ready for children, but OH wasnt quite...

We planned exactly when to start trying and i fell pg straight away

am pleased we have left it until this point in our lives (hes 29, Im 30) We have 2 properties (& 2 mortgages but renting one out pays for itself) and we are now in a position where we can afford for me to be a stay at home mummy, which i am just so so greatful for.

WiiUnfit · 06/03/2011 18:47

Hey LovelyKatie, lovely to have another young mum to be :) Congratulations!

Myself & DP sound very much like you & your DP, we are v.happy & have a v.stable relationship, just can't wait for our LO to arrive in June/July. Financially stable (not minted, but have savings .etc) & both in work .etc, only difference is I'm still working towards my degree with the OU - hard word with baby brain!

WiiUnfit · 06/03/2011 18:48

**work not word what was I saying about baby brain?

TysonNobdie86 · 06/03/2011 18:51

I was 22 with ds and 24 with dd. Perfect age for me, I would rather enjoy my dc whilst im young enough to play with them and then sort my career out when they go school. Im lucky though as dh and I have been together since I was 16 and are very settled. :)

Firawla · 06/03/2011 19:47

I think the right age is ideally when you have the right partner to have them with and feel settled together, so obviously that can vary. I was 21 with my first and don't feel it was too young; we had been married for a few years, dh financially stable etc. I don't think mortgage is necessarily a requirement otherwise with house price these days you may be waiting around forever! Although I suppose that depends where in the country you are, but we in London and not affordable at all so renting but it is fine, I don't think my young kids even know the difference between mortgage and renting so not too much of an issue, we are still settled and have a roof over our head so it is fine.

Pootletrinket · 06/03/2011 20:07

I was 32 with first (expecting 2nd age 36) and had been with DH for 10 years!! Both have been planned (although number 2 took some time to conceive) - I just didn't want them before, so it would have been the wrong time for me until I did want them!!!

However, my step-mother and other friends had theirs aged 19-22 and said it was the right time for them - loads of energy, plenty of time to be 'young' parents and will still be young (ish) grandparents.

del1 · 06/03/2011 20:38

I never really wanted kids, or had the urge. I had been engaged 3 times, lived with a few boyfriends, but knew they wernt really 'the one'.
I was 30 when I met my fella, and got pregnant at 31.
I will be 34 soon, and and pregnant with number 3!!
I enjoyed my teens and 20's, getting drunk 6/7 nights, and buying clothes, going on loads of holidays etc.
But I now know that none of that mattered, and i'm so much happier with my life now.
Having said that - my mum was 17 when she had me.
She had no money when we were growing up, and missed out on her youth.
But, she is an amazing mum, and is still really young, to enjoy her freedom now ( with more confidence than a teenager, and a lot more money).
A benefit also, is that they are still fit and healthy enough to run around the park with my kids!!
I think, as long as you are with the right person, it doesnt matter how old you are.

VinoEsmeralda · 06/03/2011 20:42

I was 27 when pregnant with DC1 and 29 with DC2 and for us (DH same age) it has worked well. Dont think I would have been mature enough to have them earlier....

ChorltonChick · 06/03/2011 20:43

no right age..but at 30 I was married, owned a house, could afford it and wasn't going to adversly affect my career.

Those were my criteria, but ideally I didn;t want to leave later than 30

NonnoMum · 06/03/2011 20:43

I think the right time to have children, is when you have found the right daddy...

(but others would disagree)

supersalstrawberry · 06/03/2011 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thornykate · 06/03/2011 20:49

Had DS1 at 19, don't agree that it was far too young for me, it is the norm in some cultures & does have its advantages just as having kids at an older age does too.

Agree that having them with the right man is a bigger factor for me :)

PrincessScrumpy · 06/03/2011 20:53

We waited until we were in a house we planned to stay in for a while which had enough bedrooms for our family as getting a bigger mortgage once you have kids is hard as they include childcare etc in the calculations. It was the time that felt right financially and careerwise I was ready to step back.

I met dh at 19, married at 22 and had dd1 at 26 - dc2 and 3 will be born when I'm 29 (twins).

I did struggle with who I was as my career was so much about who I was but really uncompatible with a young family so I took redundancy. Now into my 2nd pg I am fully content and happy to focus on my kids for now. I will want to get back to a career at some point but, the sense of satisfaction I get from dd cannot be beaten.

Both pgs were very planned as I like to plan everything - the twins have been a bit of a surprise. I have decided to stop planning and go with it.

mumtobee · 06/03/2011 21:54

I'd say late 20s/early 30s is ideal - after 35 fertility declines and there is more risk, so I'd always planned to have my children before this age.

Although having a child is absolutely wonderful I have felt that the last couple of years have been very focused on that and there has not been a lot of 'me' time, but the fact that my husband and I have been together so long, have built up our careers, and have had many years of fun, freedom and socialising has meant that I feel no bitterness towards these selfless years, and I feel it's made me a better mum for it.

Leaving it until this age - we are able to live in a nice home and I am able to be a SAHM, and having had 9 years together before our DC was born has made us stronger for it!

I was also ready at 18/19 for a child, and am so thankful that I have really lived my life first!

Particles · 06/03/2011 21:54

I was 23 when I had my first. Already had degree, job, house and stable relationship so none of that was an issue but having children does tend to put limitations on your life - after having my baby I was struck by all the things I now couldn't do (not that I'd ever had any inclination to do them before!) Just make sure you are at a point in your life when you feel you have got all the young, crazy, carefree stuff out of your system and are truly ready in your heart and mind for the responsibility - even though I knew I was ready it still came as a shock!

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