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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Announcing pregnancy on Facebook?

50 replies

Buranda · 01/03/2011 16:12

I'm seriously in two minds about doing this. Part of me feels like it's really tacky, and quite a personal thing - and another part of me thinks it would be so much easier to let a huge amount of people know.
What do you all think?

OP posts:

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MadreInglese · 02/03/2011 09:34

DD was way before facebook but with DC2 we waited until three months and then spent a weekend phoning/visiting family and close friends to break the news, asking the facebookaholics not to announce anything (some of them live their entire lives on facebook )

We actually disabled both our facebook walls so no over-excited person could post anything until we were satisfied that everyone important (and my work!) knew, then we just hinted in the odd comment rather than a full on announcement. Tbh everyone who we wanted to know by then had been told anyway.

jazz412 · 02/03/2011 12:10

We told close family and friends and then last friday put it up to the rest of the rabble so the news would spread. All of my facebook friends are "real life" friends as well, as in I'm not especially close to some of them but I know them to talk to in RL ... don't really know why you'd have non RL friends on facebook viewing your news and photos tbh!
We live quite far away from some of them and it's a nice chance for them to be "involved". They also wanted to see the scan pics so I obliged!!
It was exciting and lovely to get all of the messages of congratulations!

Boos75 · 02/03/2011 12:27

I can totally understand why you would want to as it's really exciting but having had a mmc a year ago (am now 16 weeks pregnant again) I avoided doing it after our 12 week scan as when we were grieving last year for our lost baby and then had a year trying to get pregnant again, it felt like a real slap in the face when people did announce via FB. Even though of course people didn't really mean anything malicious and were just celebrating their great news.

Not as bad though as the friend who emailed us a picture of her scan and said 'I'm pregnant! Ha, ha!'. To be fair she had no idea we had had the mmc but it was horrible all the same.

I would always think if there are other ways you can let people know just in case you might touch a nerve.

NotSoPukeyMummy · 02/03/2011 12:36

MadreInglese I also disabled my Facebook wall for the same reason...sadly not before a couple of muppets posted messages to me, which I quickly removed.

I just don't get these idiots who seem to think it's their news to share, not yours. As if somehow being a cousin (again) is more important than me being a mum.

Grrr!

nickelbabe · 02/03/2011 12:50

i'm planning to change my profile picture to a pic of a piss-stick with a line on it.

that's tacky, but it has the added benefit of being really gross.

MadreInglese · 02/03/2011 13:00

I think we'll disable them again around due date - not sure I can cope with messages of the "is it here yet?" sort from randoms and we don't really want anyone else announcing the birth until we've told family and close friends.

Scruffyhound · 02/03/2011 14:02

I told people close to me that I wanted to know in person. I put it on facebook and wish I had not! At the time of finding out my DP had just found his dad after never seeing him for 30 yrs. DPs mum was not happy about it (even though she told DP about finding his dad on facebook). I said we were pregnant and it started out nice then the comments were nasty the family started saying horrible things to each other and being horrible. I ended up deleting all of it there were 60 messages. I said sorry to the general well wishers that I had to get rid of the post I had made in the first place. It totally ruined it for us both and I ended up being dragged into it all!! I did not want ot know. Its not the same for everyone!

Original poster

Buranda · 02/03/2011 15:49

Thanks to all of you who have posted.
nickelbabe that's hilarious - you have to let us know how that goes down.
I tend to agree with most of you that close family and friends should be told in person or via a personal call/email. The others will find out anyway. DH and I are off on a last hurrah in May anyway, so pictures of my growing bump will be sure to spark some discussion!

OP posts:

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 02/03/2011 19:17

I agree with the politness of telling-nearest-and-dearest-and-those-who'd-find-the-news-hard-to-cope-with properly and personally first. But cryptic little spoilers to everyone else on Facebook can be such fun

PrincessScrumpy · 02/03/2011 19:29

I have told everyone anyway so when I put it on fb it will be sharing scan pics not announcing news, except to a few old school friends I'm not really in touch with - but I can't be bothered to delete them.

Why can't you be happy about being pg - I want to shout it from the roof tops as I'm delighted. Don't really see how it's tacky. Sending I love you messages to dh via fb updates is ridiculous but announcing a baby?! If you hate seeing the updates, delete your friend.

We use fb to share pics across the world with family ie my brother, sil, uncle and his partner and even our parents as they are 4 hours away.

nickelbabysnatcher · 22/03/2011 13:14

just bumping this thread...

I've put a picture of my piss-stick up.
I'm leaving on till tomorrow.
I'll let you know if anyone comments.

ShowOfHands · 22/03/2011 13:19

Really nickel? Good Lord that's a lot of information for your average fb user.

Congratulations.

I'd never, ever announce a pregnancy on fb at any point. Anybody that I want to know I tell in person/on the phone/via email. I can't think of a single person on there who should know and wouldn't if I eschewed a FB status update.

nickelbabysnatcher · 22/03/2011 13:21

consider it a social experiment.

I see your point re: telling people personally, but I can't be arsed with it all!

nickelbabysnatcher · 22/03/2011 13:21

tempted to remove it....

nickelbabysnatcher · 22/03/2011 13:22

it might just be because it seems sooo surreal, like it's not true and i'll wake up tomorrow as normal....

davidtennantsmistress · 22/03/2011 13:50

we did as bling said, waited till we'd had our scan then put it on FB, but had told all family & direct friends in person first & showed the scan pics to them

theressomethingaboutmarie · 22/03/2011 13:52

I found out about my SIL expecting via FB. My dad's partners daughter was there when my DB and SIL told my dad. She posted it on FB (no malice, just an error of judgement really). I felt a little cross about it and am pretty sure that my DB was very annoyed.

I'm actually 6 days further along than SIL and no one knows yet as we don't have our scan until the 30th!

nickelbabysnatcher · 22/03/2011 14:01

i took the picture down.
i got scared after what Showy said.

Original poster

Buranda · 23/03/2011 17:27

Oh nickel I was interested to see your friends' reactions!

OP posts:

nickelbabyhatcher · 23/03/2011 17:30

I might do it in a couple of days when I'm sure the most important people know about it!
got to wait for DH to tell his sister first...

hubbahubster · 23/03/2011 17:35

I decided not to make an announcement on FB because it was so hurtful seeing other people's constant updates/scans after we had a MMC last year. Guess it's personal choice but it really did feel like a kick in the teeth to see all the baby talk?

nickelbabyhatcher · 23/03/2011 17:36

i see what you mean. :( sorry you had to go through that.

Beesok · 23/03/2011 18:04

I agree with the attack of babies after having a MMC (happened to us too and I had SO many friends with babies due etc - I was very happy for them but for a while dreaded logging on to FB) - although I didn't tell everyone about the MMC so it's not like they were doing it on purpose.....

Personally, we're not going to announce it - we're slowly telling close friends as we see them - not really making formal announcements...

I think when I am much further along and more secure in the pregnancy I might post some pic of me with bump etc so that everyone else who isn't close will figure it out ;) but all the important people would have known by then and am sure some of them will put something stupid on my wall he he he

bilblio · 23/03/2011 18:33

We told family, friends etc as soon as we knew, I don't do keeping quiet till 12 weeks. I needed to tell work for health and safety, and if anything happened I'd want people to know.

But we haven't broadcast it on FB yet, we'll wait till the 12 week scan then put the picture up.
We haven't told DD either (but she seems to know anyway, keeps asking about my big tummy! It's not that much bigger yet!)

JimmyChoo17 · 23/03/2011 22:03

I was in 2 minds about this. Most of my contacts are on restricted access and can only see my profile picture and nothing else so the people thatcanview are people I wouldn't mind seeing my update anyway.

I had 2 losses and trouble ttc and was a little choked to see others posting good news but even tho I have been thru that I wouldn't not post my news because of it nor would i resent others for posting their news.It helped actually rather than bumping into someone and finding out and my heart sinking in public which u can't hide in your reaction.

I made sure family, close friends and work knew first but I still didn't post until 16 weeks or maybe a bit before and that was mainly to force me into thinking it was for real this time.

The real positives for me were the positive feedback and messages and I am now in proper contact (rather than just facebook) with girls who hadn't reached 12 weeks but messaged me to tell me they were pregnant. I was worried about who would I use for childcare, only to find out that friends were childminders who are local and I could trust with my child! So there are some good things that come from it.

That being said it's probably the only baby status I have made as I can't stand reading about someones baby's bowel movement, dribble etc every 5 mins!!! Most of those people I do wonder where they find the time to update facebook all the time with a baby?!! I refuse to become one of those. My scans are restricted to family and a small group of friends.

I switched off my wall when I first told someone about it just in case they let slip, I also plan to deactivate it around due date so I don't get asked is baby here yet and so I can tell my family first what flavour this baby is!

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