"Offers" of hand-me-downs

[ParisPreMom]

Am I being totally out of line when I say that I don't understand the compulsive need for everyone I know who has had a child to tell me "I'm going to give you tons of clothes I kept" and "we'll give you all of so-and-so's clothes and sheets". I know that things cost money and that you need lots of clothes, etc. etc. but for some reason I feel overwhelmed by what are always declarations and never suggestions (like "I have baby clothes, if you need anything" which I would have no problem with).I feel like I won't have any choice in what my daughter wears/sleeps in/plays with. Aside from that, clothes have become one of the least expensive purchases, so why isn't anyone offering to buy me a baby monitor or thermometer?
I know I sound really ungrateful, but something about the situation is driving me crazy!

I can understand your feeling on some of this stuff. I had to have a hand me down pram for #1 but I've never done this again.

Clothes however are an entirely different kettle of fish. My friends and I openly say, when we see each others children wearing something rather nice 'earmark that one for me!'

There's plenty of stuff I've charity shopped straight away, but there's also lots of stuff which is almost brand new and very tasteful.

But then, I'm on #4 so quite frankly, this one will be lucky to wear anything other than a babygrow before the age of 3

I can understand wanting a new pram - they can take quite a battering & I don't want to push my DD (due June) round in something scruffy.

My lovely MIL has got us a new Moses basket & stand & loads of clothes & useful bits.

Apart from that though, I've gladly taken hand me downs. I have a crib that's seen at least 3 babies so far. It's a bit battered but I reckon a good beeswax rub will sort it out & it's solid. Also got a free travel cot, highchair, blankets, sling etc & loads of nearly new clothes. I picked up my carseat for £35 from eBay from a nice couple who looked after it well.

I'm skint so I need all the help I can get... But I couldn't bring myself to spend £700 on a crib suite at M&P's even if I had it!

I too have faced this dilemma and was in turmoil about what to do. I made a big list of everything I needed and everything I had been offered and then decided what I wanted as new. Eg. Pram was a no negotiation area for me. However I have accepted crib and bought new mattress. Things like furniture are great because you can paint it etc. In fact that goes for clothes too. I was reading another MN thread about boring baby clothes and tie dye. Might have more use out of the giant bag of clothes SIL gave me after all!!
I wanted no.1 to have everything fresh and new too but figured if I had a couple of lovely special little outfits for showing my gorgeous baby off! Then the 3rd change of the day outfit when I'm totally wrecked and just need sleep I'll be thankful not to have to put wash on and just grab a hand me down! Once you have washed everything once, sure it's all the same.
Each to their own!

I love hand me downs, you end up trying stuff you wouldn't have thought to buy yourself.

I offer stuff to freinds, I have some lovely stuff that has hardly been used, you feel like you money is less wasted if a freind gets some use out of the stuff you have bought. There is also the added guilt issue for me, children and a credit crunch have made me rather skint...with loads of freinds having babies there has been literally no money for presents, it's nice to feel you can give somthing they can enjoy (crap I know, but thats life).

Regarding clothes I have always taken everything I can and then bought a few bits that I like on top. Trust me. Before you have a baby you have NO IDEA how mant clothes they will get through. No I am on number 3 I have far more newborn stuff than I actually need but at least I know it is there if I need back up. As PP said when everything nice you have bought is covered in vomit and/or poo you will be grateful for the xtra stuff. I would say store it and then when you KNOW that you don't need it pass it on.

I have been very lucky. The only things I have HAD to buy for any of my children has been new pushchairs and bottles.

I passed my old highchair on so for this baby I will need a new one but otherwise (unless I have girl) I am covered.

My moses basket will be on its 6th child at least.

I do see where you are coming from. It is lovely to have nice crisp clothes for you beautiful new baby but in reality it makes far more sense to take whats offered.

Just my opinion though and if you have the cash than why not splash it.