Absolutely freaking out!!

[yoyomarr]

This will be my 1st post, and I really need some advice

So I have just found out that I am pregnant. I have sore boobs, I feel sick and I am exhausted. I thought it was just pmt, but the sickness started to worry me so I wee'd on a stick and alas i'm pregnant

I was not taking contraception because it was one of those things that I was going to sort out next week... (next week didn't come) anyway the condom split and I took the morning after pill but I took it 36 hours after and the chances of it working fall to about 85%.

I feel like a teenager (i'm 25) I'm dreading telling my other half because we both have said that it's not as though we don't want kids, but it would be years and years before we even thought about it.

I dunno I'm rambling on now, my mind is like a whirl and i'm a little in shock.

Any advice anyone can offer?

Well this kind of happened to me. I got pregnant on the pill a year after I got married. DH and I were totally shocked, due to health problems I wasn't planning on having kids.

It took a couple of weeks but we came round to the idea. I just kind of accepted that it was how my life would be. Then two days after that (at about 7 weeks) I miscarried.

I thought I'd be relieved or at least not really mind but actually we were both really upset. We talked it over and agreed to try 18 months later (did a lot of travelling and both got a promotion in that time). We're now (with a lot of medical support) at 34 weeks. Neither of us can wait for the baby and are really excited.

It's a big shock so give yourselves some time and be forgiving and supportive of each other. You've got 9 months to get used to the idea and prepare so there's no need to panic. Have to say though that even with planned pregnancies an amount of "OMG what have we done" is normal.

Yoyomarr,
Sweethea5rt, i feel for your situation, its quite similar to mine but im slightly older (32).
My pregnancy was a complete shock to me and my boyfriend, after a few days of discussing the situation and the options, we decided to keep the baby.
Ive also been in the same situation a few years ago with an ex, where i took the decission to terminate the pregnancy.
You make your mind up based on your current situation and do whats right for you now in life, not what could be right in 2, 3, 4 years down the line. What ever decission you make, dont have regrets because its the right decission for you now.

Good luck
x

I found out when I was 17 and my partner was 21 that the morning after pill failed, I was devastated. The next week I was rushed into hospital and told my baby was suspected ectopic, I couldnt stop crying when it turned out he wasnt that made my mind up. I now have a 5YO DS there are many advatages to being a young mum and many disadvantages the same as having a bby at any age is. I can list some if you would like.

We have made it work and we are ok for money we have bought a 3 bedroom house (because we were young we had no debt my partner had just finished his degree), we have enough money. Things work out the only downside is I didnt get to do the things other women my age have but I will be young enough to do them when my DC are older and I will have more money to do them, My mortgage will be paid off by the time I am 40. The reason I tell you this is so you know it can work out if you want it to and I am sure it will be okay whatever you decide to do.

Hello,

Just wanted to say Ive been in your situation - twice! First time I was 17, condom split, took the morning after pill a day and a half later due to it being a sunday... and 3 weeks later got a positive result. I was terrified, and decided not to go ahead with the pregnancy. Not an easy decision, and one which ultimately ended my relationship with my fiance as he wanted to keep it.

Fast forward 8 years and Im not quite sure what went wrong, but was waiting for my period to go back on the pill after a break but it never came, I was 25, again terrified, but this time I decided that termination was not an option due to the emotional recovery from the last one. I am now expecting DC3 with DP.

I have never regretted my DD's, but have always regretted the termination, even though it was the right thing for me to do at the time. Even when you make that decision, it will be hard to get over IMO, because as much as the pregnancy was not planned or wanted, neither was the termination.

Speak to your DP and your GP, maybe get some counselling. It's not an easy decision to make even for all the right reasons. I hope you have lots of support whatever your decision. I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant with DD1 because I did not think I could be a good mother.

Only you can decide what to do for the best, as the others have said, be kind to yourself and do what is best for you. I know my termination was the right choice at the time, and although I regret it, I regret having had to do it rather than wishing I hadn't done it IYSWIM.

Take some time and be kind to yourself xx

BTW - my partner didn't want kids ever - we are now happily expecting number 3, planned. Kids can change you in so many ways. Good luck with your DP xx

Ummm. Congratz!!! :) sometimes the best things in life are those little unexpected, unplanned things. Just be grateful, as there are many, many people in the world that would love to be in your position. (I mean pregnant, not where you are literally now) :)

Very similar situation for me. I'm 27.. I was in complete shock for about 48 hours and was absolutely terrified to tell dp since kids were always in the "future" category. But he was so happy and were now 27 weeks and really looking forward to it. We almost forget it wasn't planned. Allow yourself time to be in shock, talk it over and don't rush to an immediate decision. Things tend to look a lot clearer once the panic dies down. Good luck :)

No advice - just want to wish you all the very best. xx Just tell your DP and work out your feelings together. Good luck.

Thank you all for your kind words and advice, I've told my other half and we are going to sit down properly tomorrow and talk about it, I suppose that we are going to let it sink in for a while. I have calmed down since I told him which is nice!!

Really glad it turned out okay :) Im 37 weeks now with my first....but didnt find out until i was 20 weeks as i was on the pill and the pregnancy symptoms seemed very much like the side effects you got with this pill. (plus 3 different doctors told me this was the case rather than pregnancy or anything else, but thats a different story. :p) Basically i was in a very new relationship and even though very happy, nowhere near ready to start thinking about children, especially as my partner is onlly 19 and being 21 myself, i thought i had a while to go before any massive life decisions need be made.I was so terrified aout telling him....but du know what, he was amazing. Couldnt have asked for a better more suppourtive reaction. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that it can all turn out okay......even though we wouold rather have waited a while, got set up with a home, and established the relationship more, we are both completely over joyed now and looking forward to meeting our little one in a few weeks. Some of it hasnt been easy...and im under no illusions thattheres a hell of a lot of things that we wont get to do now.......but theres always ways around things, and if your relationship is strong, then i think youll both surprise yourselves :) Good luck with everything!