What to buy a new mum??

[lindseyjane28]

Hi, i am new to Mumsnet and as I am not yet a parent I am after some advice on what to buy a new mum. My two best friends are both due to give birth in the next week and I would like to buy something nice for them as well as something for the baby? Any suggestions would be great.Thanks!

I'm a mum of 3 and I no longer give baby stuff as gifts - I give the things that nobody tells you, you are going to need with little jokey notes for each one.

The hamper of best keep secrets
eg
A glue gun (they are actually very cheap and will save your life at the last minute school book day/easter bonnet/other mad request)
A children's birthday cake decorating book
Whichever children's DVD mine were willing to watch 48 times
etc

I would second REALLY NICE HAND CREAM and any form of cooked food for immediate consumption/freezer.
I remember being overwhelmed by presents for my first baby - I had nowhere to put them all, felt obliged to use them all despite not really needing to, and a bit disgruntled that I didn't need to buy my child anything until she was 9 months old because I had SOOO much. So don't worry so much about the baby. For a first time mum, feeling appreciated for having given birth is really important.
And, if you have the cash, a voucher for a cleaner! (this is my dream)

I would have been horrified to be given a wooden music box or mobile, totally not my thing. As for embroidered muslins, I just don't understand why?! They're for mopping up bodily fluids. Embroidered? Why?

Also, I would think of all the above as gifts for the baby not the mum.

Just goes to show how different people's tastes are . As with all good presents, bear in mind what your friend likes.

the things i liked were personalised taggie blankets (with the baby name on) and burts bees posh lotions/shower gel

i also really appreciated gifts that were handmade for dd. my clever seamstress friend made her a doll with two outfits! not saying thats what you should do but if you have a skill that lends itself to gifts maybe thats an idea.
a friend who just gave birth her fave gift was a cake with welcome baby xxx on it - she was so happy she had cake to give all the visitors who come when you have a baby if that makes sense?

Best pressie I ever got was a huge, fleecey blanket - totally oversized thing that almost covered the room for mum to snuggle in with baby, then for babies to crawl on/roll on/etc. I thought it was dull at first, then quickly realised that it was the bestest thing ever (we had polished floorboards at the time). 3 years later, it's now called Blankey, and is used every hour of the day for sitting, wrapping, making dens, covering up on the sofa to watch a bit of Cbeebies, picnics, everything. I never would have dreamed of buying one myself and vowed to buy one for every first time pregnant friend!

I always bought hand cream for my friends - once you are a mum, you wash your hands so much more. Plus it doesn't have to cost a fortune, or it can be the special one that is a splurge gift. I prefer practical gifts (as you can see). Chocolates are also nice. After I had my (third) baby a friend made me some deluxe brownies for breast feeding energy!! And that was a lovely touch.

When I was expecting my little boy a very sensible friend gave me a box full of toiletries of all that I, and baby, could possibly want ? wipes, cotton balls, shampoo, bath wash, baby oils and creams, Calpol, a thermometer, teething creams, sponges, etc. Much more useful than the numerous photo frames/albums we also received (although these novelty gifts were superb for recycling by giving to the first-time besotted grandparents with a picture of their new grand-bundle-of-joy!).

Anything as long as it's specifically for her and not baby related IMO. When I had DS I was so pleased when some friends showed up a few days later with flowers, up to that point all the presents had been for the baby, which was nice but the flowers did perk me up a bit (chocolates would have been just as good)!

Many new mums are exhausted, over-worked and very emotional after going through the effort of pregnancy and labour, followed by many low-sleep nights. I found it was really, really lovely to get a few instant-gratification presents for ME (though I did share them with DH!) as well as (or instead of) for Dbaby. The gifts I most appreciated were:

• a big box of yummy, indulgent, energy-boosting chocolate truffles sent by mail order from friends abroad
• some yummy french pastries brought along by a friend, who also reassured me that even if I felt I wasn't coping perfectly, I was the best possible Mummy for MY baby
• the first 2 week's worth of meals, which my parents produced (mostly from M&S!) so that I didn't have to worry about the shopping and cooking

What I would have loved, would have been someone to come and clean my house for me or brought round a nice homecooked shpeherds pie or something. Oh and dont forget a small gift for any older siblings too.

I am having DD3 on monday, and honestly I would love some gorgeous Hotel Chocolat chocolates (the alcohol-free ones please if any of my friends are reading this ), or some lovely flowers. Pre-arranged baskets, or bouquets that can easily be transferred to a vase by clueless DH would be ideal (as I'm having an ELCS and don't want to arrange the flowers, just admire them).

I only ever had one lot of flowers for giving birth (DH's manager when we had DD1 - gorgeous basket with orchids, gerberas etc), and one lot of chocolates (after DD2, from DH's work colleague), all other gifts both times were for the baby, except some M&S toiletries my mum got me before I had DD1, which I couldn't use (see below!). Meals, cakes etc would also have been very welcome, but no-one did that either. We got lots of lovely baby stuff, but as we'd already bought everything ourselves, we didn't really need anything more (not that we weren't grateful, we were - it was lovely and very generous - our DDs just have loads of stuff now, and I'm slightly concerned about where to put any more when DD3 shows up!!!!).

I have very sensitive skin, and so do the DDs (DD1 has quite bad eczema), so we're very limited as to what toiletries I can use (even hand cream) on myself, and what will not irritate the girls skin (green baby, earth friendly baby, clearly herbal, allergenics seem to be absolutely fine). I'd be cautious about buying toiletries, wipes etc unless you know your friend can use them.

But in my world, you can never have too many flowers, or too much chocolate!

Giant 1m x 1m square muslins which are brilliant as swaddles / sun shades for a pushchair / for sitting on in the park.
A freezer full of home cooked or M&S ready meals, plus many packets of hob nobs (on the basis that oats are good for breast milik production)
If you're rich, send a masseuse round to her house to give her a rub down. That was the BEST present I got. The woman who came over did film sets and had amazing nuggets about Catherine Zeta Jones' legs while doing chicago / Daniel Craig's back (I am shallow so loved that).
If you aren't rich, a voucher for one hour's babysitting will be very, very gratefully received. And baby will probably sleep all the way through it (leaving you free to do a load of laundry for her)

Personally I avoid the bay orientated stuff, as she'll get loads - if you really want to, give a voucher for somewhere like M&S or Mothercare etc where she can chose some baby bits herself, but get her something for HER

My best gift when I had DD was a big box of lush bath stuff, it was really appreciated in those early months to be able to have a break & wallow in scented heaven for a little while - I usually do the same now for other new Mums & always get good feed back :) -

the other great gift I did get, was a survival pack from a Nanny friend, she'd bought a big basket & filled it up with baby essentials, not the obvious nappies etc, but things as mentioned above -

metanium cream, teething granules, colic remedies, sudocreme, cotton buds, cotton balls, baby nail clippers, lavender aromatherapy oil, chamomile aromatherapy oil, epsom salts, big pack for adding to baby baths, natural soaps, shampoo, those muslin squares, scratch mits, skin salvation creme etc et

she also got me a box of cream cakes, which she brought to the hospital, would have been odd as I don't normally like them, but my God did i appreciate those when DD arrived & I needed carbs to help with milk etc

The best things I received were:
A HUGE box of very good chocolates
A pile of homemade meals in individual portions to go in the freezer - cried when my friend bought these round
A thermos-style mug with a lid on it, which kept my cups of tea warmer for longer and also meant I was less terrified about spilling hot tea on feeding baby...
My sister vacuuming the house and giving the bathroom a quick clean
Offers to keep me company (and sane) during hideous three months of screamy colicky evenings (DH working long hours)

The gifts that were nice but less thought through were:
Baby clothes 0-3months - I had big babies who grew out of them in a couple of weeks!
Flowers that I had to arrange.... much preferred the ones that come ready arranged with water reservoirs
Pampering stuff - simply didn't have the time for this! Handcream yes, but other stuff still languishing in bottom drawer. Massage/facial/haircut only good if you also offer to babysit, don't just assume someone will be able to find a babysitter during the day very easily!

The BEST present was a meal box for two from Cook www.cookfood.net/menu/shop/meal-boxes/gift-box-for-two/

Really yummy freezer food. We were so touched by receiving it we bought it for our friends who'd just had a baby too. Pricey but SO worth it.

Happy end of pregnancy, birth and beyond! x

I hated receiving flowers actually - more mess and hassle to deal with and all of our surfaces were full with cards and baby odds and sods anyway. Once they eventually died, they filled the bin so that I had to go and empty that too. I just found them a faff. A very well received present was a box of muffins and biscuits from a friend - heavenly!! I also agree that hand cream is an excellent gift - my hands were so dry for those first few weeks.

The best present ever- your time. She won't have much spare energy and no spare time. A new baby is 24/7. Even a nap while the baby is sleeping is difficult to fit in when there are baby clothes to wash, bottles to clean. Offer to help with the chores, get some shopping, cook a meal or wash up. It will be very much appreciated. Even visitors, lovely though it is to see them, can be work- making them cups of tea, tidying up for them. So get stuck in and give a hand.

Bumper packs of wet wipes!

Hand cream - like another poster said, you have to wash your hands about 20 times a day, plus the extra washing and sterilising.

Chocolate/biscuits/fruit.

If anyone bought me Lush bath bombs I would be a very happy mummy!

...and on that note, I really appreciated the friends of mine who said 'let us know when you're ready to visit' rather than those who kept asking about when they could visit?

It took the pressure off, and gave DS, DH and me some precious time just the 3 of us to get to know each other in the early weeks.

That understanding and not imposing was just wonderful. Much easier than the acquaintances who showed up when DS was a week old, when I was still pretty weak from pre-eclampsia. I didn't enjoy making cuppas for them. Bless them, they brought some knitting for him, but I'm not sure if he'll ever wear it as wool can be pretty scratchy.

From personal experience, I LOVED receiving;
A bunch of sleb magazines
Body shop shea butter set- heaven on battered postpartum body
Chocolate
Muslin squares
Lansinoh!
lovely new jammies
posh cider

a baby massage poster so that she can get her partner to help her do baby massage every night after the bath (and give her a break ).

If they are using reusable nappies, how about a nappy with a funky design? There is a shop near us that sells nappies with Winnie the Pooh / Hungry Catapiller motives, as well as loads of others.