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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Am I being dumb?

13 replies

MrsMooky · 20/02/2011 08:05

Sorry - this is my first pregancy so I'm not very clued up on a lot of stuff. I had my dating scan and it put me at 12+5. But I KNOW that I conceived about two weeks later than that. Are they measuring from the date of my LMP or is the dating scan just.. accurate? I'm freaking out becuase my wonderful dad died a week after I conceived and (obviously without knowing I was pregnant!!) I had a couple of weeks of drinking and smoking much more than usual. I know that during the first three weeks the baby isn't much affected by what you do- but if they are saying somehow my dates are wrong then I'm terrified I might have done some serious harm in the most important stage. Please someone answer, I am driving myself crazy!

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Oneof4 · 20/02/2011 08:28

You now that you probably didn't conceive until about 2 weeks after your LMP? It's just the marker they use to start the pg clock ticking. Dating scan is meant to be accurate, but I was due yesterday according to the scan and I'm sitting here with my laptop perched on a belly full of baby... I reckon my real dates are sometime in the middle of next week.

But, more importantly, don't worry about the drinking and smoking. Soooooo many people find themselves in this position and usually everything's fine.

Sorry to hear about your dad, and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Oneof4 · 20/02/2011 08:29

"You know..." obviously...

Mummyisamonster · 20/02/2011 08:30

So sorry to hear about your Dad firstly but congrats on your news. Don't beat yourself up..I know loads of people who've didn't realise they were pregnant until 8+ weeks and had been drinking/smoking like crazy. All their babies were fine. I include myself in that group. It's very doubtful you've done your baby any harm, even with your 'wrong' dates.

With regards to dating scans, they base them on your LMP. As your pregnancy progresses and you have more scans (20 weeks, I think - my DCs are now 7 and 5 so things have changed a bit since my pregnancies) they may well alter your due date if they find they've miscalculated at the first scan.

Good luck with it all. Try this book, I found it invaluable (and no, I don't work for MN!)

Original poster

MrsMooky · 20/02/2011 08:36

Thank you so much for your reassurance. It feels like as soon as I stop freaking out about one thing, somehtng else occurs to me. And I used to be so calm.. welcome to the rest if my life, I guess!

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justbeingmummy · 20/02/2011 09:59

Hi MrsMooky,
Im in exactly the same boat, Im 34 weeks now and my dates have never changed and they are saying I concieved on the 30th June, however because we had been trying to concieve for over 2 1/2 yrs we were recording everything and I started my period that day and we didnt even start trying until 2 weeks after that. I too went out for my birthday in the 2 weeks that they are saying I was pg but I know I cant of been and got seriously drunk but I know for a fact most people drink and do things they wish they hadnt before they find out so you will be fine.
I dont think the dates matter too much the baby will come when he/she is ready anyway.
Hope that helps x

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 20/02/2011 10:03

I'm so sorry about your dad, I found out I was pg just after my dad passed away and then had a mc. Don't worry about worrying you've got so much going on in your mind and body.

With dd1 I only found out I was pg after a few weekends of serious partying (think corporate free bar)

InmaculadaConcepcion · 20/02/2011 10:44

Sorry to hear about your dad but congrats on the pregnancy!

The average human pregnancy is actually about 38 weeks. The 40 weeks bit comes because medics count you as pregnant BEFORE you actually conceive. ie from the first day of your LMP.
Also, not all pregnancies follow the 38 weeks gestation anyway - some are naturally a bit longer, other a bit shorter.

And as the others said, don't worry - think of the number of babies conceived when the mother's off her face on something or other and has no idea for a few weeks. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Original poster

MrsMooky · 20/02/2011 11:07

Thank you all so much - its been a total rollercoaster, at first all I wanted to be able to do was grieve my dad and the baby seemed almost like an inconvenience. Now I'm thrilled, though I wish they would have the opportunity to know their grandfather, they are missing out on so much, he was just wonderful. But - just so I'm clear (I am ordinarily quite intelligent, honest) - they say 12+6, but its actually 10+6 if I count from conception not from LMP?

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buttonmoon78 · 20/02/2011 11:16

Exactly right. Every date you will be given is from their assumption that your LMP was 14 days prior to the age they measure your baby to be. So you are 12+6 pg but for two weeks of those 12 you weren't yet pg.

Makes Einstein's theory of relativity sound easy doesn't it!

Congratulations anyway. I'm pleased you're happy now. It can take a while to feel happy even when you don't have such trauma to contend with.

For what it's worth, I never knew my maternal grandfather either. He died suddenly when my older sister was about 7m old. He's always been talked about however so I don't feel I've missed out really. I think it was hardest on my mum. Two weeks after the funeral when her own mum was fallin apart (understandably) her pil (my dad's parents) said she could call them mum and dad if she wanted. I'm sure it was well meant but

I hope you find time to grieve and be excited too. Really, it will be ok. And welcome to the guilt fest that is motherhood.

PipPipPip · 20/02/2011 11:30

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.

Please don't feel guilty about the drinking and smoking - it happens to so many of us! I went to a music festival and a debauched wedding before I realised I was pregnant. There are dozens and dozens of stories just like ours on Mumsnet.

GiddyPickle · 20/02/2011 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justbeingmummy · 20/02/2011 21:43

MrsMooky - I totally know how you feel regarding your Dad. I lost mine when i was 4 months pregnant and it was so hard and I havent grieved yet because my brain is saying' think of the baby - dont get upset' so I think I will be a mess after Ive had him! Im so sad he will never get to meet him and vice versa but the one thing Im glad about is that he knew I was pregnant before he died because we had been ttc for so long he was so chuffed and now we know we are having a boy, his middle name will be my Dads name.

So sorry for your loss :( x x

Original poster

MrsMooky · 21/02/2011 06:47

So sorry for your loss as well, justbeing. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I know exactly what you're saying on the grieving. I do my best to simply not think about it as much as humanly possible but three months later am still waking myself up crying pretty frequently. I'm really pleased that your dad got to know about your pregnancy. Mine would have been so happy, I'm terribly sad that he didn't know (though neither did I!). I guess we have to try and take comfort in knowing how proud they would have been. I hope all goes well with your pregnancy.

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