Husband wanting to go on stag doo?

[hilltop666]

Just had a bit of a row with my husband as he suggested going on a stag doo 3 wks before my due date, I know that chances of me going this early are very slim esp with first baby, but im sure there's still a chance!

He says he doesn't believe I would ever go this early but I said its not really worth the chance is it!? (stag doo would be a flight away too)

Was also cross cos im saving like mad so i can have a few months off on maternity leave, as i only get 6 wks paid and the fact that he would probably blow about £600 on this in total really annoyed me!!

Wish he would have argued as i was so cross about it but he just agreed - im just upset that he didnt come to this conclusion himself without me having to say so!
Am i being unreasonable??

Hello - I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from!

When I was P, my husband went back home for the weekend with his newly divorced desperate mates! Although we moaned about money/due date etc, to be honest the real reason I didnt' want him to go was because I felt fat, chubby ankled, heavy and really unattractive. I had totally unreasonable images of him chatting to slim, sexy child free blondes (why the hell would such a hottie waste time talking to a bunch of 40 saddos I dont' know)

Anyway, he went, and I watched crap TV, ate chocolate and enjoyed the peace and quiet. After the baby was born and I had stopped BF a few months later, I used his 'fun' weekend away as a bargaining tool and had a fab girls night.

You will cope financially, he will not run off, and the chances are you will not go into labour - and IF you do, you would have to deal with it and he will feel more guilt than you can imagine. You are the mother of his child to be, and he WILL think you are amazing. Let him go else he might resent you - dont' worry, it's not worth the stress;) xx

I agree that he shouldn't go. (I was 3 weeks early with dd1).

But he isn't and now you need to relax! x

We have a similar, but totally different problem in our house at the moment. 3rd baby is due 16th May and DH and I have been invited to a wedding on 29th May. No children allowed, so DC1 and DC2 would have to stay with grandparents. We have since discovered that 'no children' also applies to the new born baby!! DH was planning to go, but I had a chat with him last night and explained that realistically we don't have a clue what will be going on at the time (will baby be early, later, ok etc etc) and it would be unfair for him to leave me with 3 children possibly so soon after birth... He has agreed (surprisingly) and we'll find out if baby is allowed to the evening do and then we may go along! Cant believe people would expect us to leave new born, breasfeeding baby in order to attend wedding... or is this just me being hormonal?!!

YANBU, my husband went on his Christmas night out when i was 37wks pregnant, he got soooo drunk he couldn't stand or talk and spent 2 days in bed, i was fuming as he promised he wouldnt go over the top, "just incase"... at 37+5 my water's broke (ended up with emergency section)DS born that day, birth is not at all predictable!!!!

YANBU about him going away as pregnancy is unpredictable at this stage and I think the, how easy is it to get back plays a big part. If it was an hour away and he could get back quickly is very different to a flight away where he may miss the birth.

I do agree with some that the reality of pregnancy, labour, having baby does not always sink in for many guys until it happens. The hormones, bump, and being kicked all the time is a constant part of our lives and we cannot imagine "forgetting" or not being aware of the importance of certain things like the birth, getting ready!
My DH needed it pointing out to him and the response of "oh yeah hadn't thought of it like that" made me realise that for him it won't all kick in until he holds and gets to see his baby.

At least once you pointed out your concerns he decided not to go.

Saying that tonight I am kicking DH out to the pub for some well earned time away from very pregnant hormonal wife. At least he will be in shouting distance and I get to eat chocolate without any disapproving looks!!

I can totally understand how you are feeling.

My hubby leaves the house at around 1 pm for work most days and then doesnt get home til around 2 or 3am!! He is manager of a busy bar/nightclub in central London.

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and on early maternity leave- due to working as an actress.

Today, my DH said that when he finishes work at 1am tonight, he is going to meet up with a couple of old dj friends for an after work drink- who he hasn't seen in ages....I got a bit shirty, as I am really big and fed up and said to him, "wouldn't you rather come home earlier instead??"

He didn't see it and didn't understand what was wrong with him having a couple of drinks after his shift.

I suppose the thing is, that it's hard work being pregnant! At the moment I have terrible backache, rib-ache, can't sleep, just generally feeling rubbish.

Who's in the right? Other than his anti-social job, he is normally very supportive of me. Sometimes it just feels like he doesn't get it.

Erm, apart from being selfish towards you, who the hell thinks its okay to go and spend £600 on a stag do when you are just about to have a baby?

What would he think if you went out and bought yourself a pair of Louboutins ?

God, this poor guy is getting such a bollocking!

He isn't going, he happily agreed not to!

FWIW, I wouldn't have minded my husband going. The money would have worried me but the principle of going away whist your wife is pregnant, I have no problem with.

And as for this stag do being an excuse to run away from reality...FFS!

My dh went on a rugby tour to Sotho Africa three weeks before I was due with our first dc.

It was a fantastic opportunity, one that I wanted him to enjoy. I knew I could be early but it wasn't desperately likely and, as much as we bit very much wanted him to be there, I would still manage to deliver all on my own.

We were so pleased he was back in time. But I did not want us sitting there looking at each other just because the baby might just possibly maybe arrive very early.

Ah, sensible Pag

Well thank you

Although I wonder if he found sotho Africa..... Perhaps south Africa would have been more sensible.

YANBU not to want him to go (although I would have been fine with my husband doing it)

YABU to still be sulking with him even though you've got your own way.

And I agree with whoever said that for many men, first babies don't really seem real until they are here. You've had nine months of symptoms to get used to it, he's only been watching.

hi all just a wee update- my DH came home last night- and came straight to me and apologised for not realising that he shouldn't have even thought of it. He said he would have come to that conclusion himself anyway (and FWIW i think he would have) he said never even realised that you could go early, obv doesnt know alot about childbirth!

He was so sorry and dissapointed in himself and was totally ok with me still sulking over it! so we kissed and made up!!