Angry at DP for going around to his mums....

[Scruffyhound]

Hello there I have posted a few things on here and with having preg hormones all over the place and being damn right ratty at the moment I just need to hear what other people think? I posted before about me taking my son around to my DP mothers house at christmas and my son getting bit by the dog. Since then there has been no apology or anything for the dosgs behaviour there has been nothing done to improve the dogs behaviour either they still treat it like a baby. I dont want to go around there as its a strange family and it makes my blood boil that nothing has been said and its as if Its my fault. Me and DP had to drive past last week on the way to a hospital appt. My DP said my sister and mum wondered if we would nip in on the way back. I really did not want to and his mum does my head in as we always have to see her she has never been over to see us were only 15 mins away. My mum travles on the train for 1 hours 30 mins and has seen us more. Anyway we went in to see them I really did not want to. The dog was there no one said anything about it and let it jump up me and I was sooo angry I just ignored it. I cant go around there again I saw my DP face when I said "do we have to go aorund there?" he seemed a bit hurt. But its really not my fault Im 33 weeks pregnant and I really dont ever want to go around there ever again. If my DP ever took our baby around there(as I made it very clear on christmas day no children were coming around until the dog was sorted) I would kill him as that dog has bit my son twice now. And they dont do anything about it. Am I in the wrong? Am I going mad? I think my DP seems to do what his mum says and the sun shines out of her butt. She has made no effort with him for ages he always rings her she never asks how we are. I think she has a problem I can relate to this as my dad is schizophrenic and she acts a bit strange. I cant deal with her at the moment I just feel angry when I see her because she is so selfish but DP keeps going back like a puppy I know its his mum but how much am I supposed to take? I cant be doing with it anymore. It will break us up in the long term I have given everything up to be with him and re locate. Please tell me Im not going insane too!!??

can you repost this in paragraphs...can't read it like this...

Thanks for your help I know I need to get on with his mum but several people now have told me she is not right. We were at a chirstmas do and she was acting weird making nasty comments about one of the women there. I just dont get it. its the fact of oh well my dog bit your son but I dont give a shit attitude that pisses me off. I dont mind her coming aorund to us ever that is not an isssue at all. But as for any kids going around there it would be wrong as there is a dangerous dog around there they choose to do nothing about. Im not risking it ever again. His mum needs to get off her ass and come over here she does not work so its no problem for time or sort the dog out IMO. I have a dog she is fine and too lazy to do anything but you never know. I feel let down by DP always giving in to his mum.

you need to get Victoria Stillwell to call her....woman is a dog training genius. record some its me or the dog episodes for your inlaws

i would be worried about the dog! and def not up for letting my kids around it. your OH should support you in that, surely he can see the danger?

what happened when your child was bit? was it unprovoked, or in excitement?

I know how you feel here as my inlaws are very selfish and un caring. The only time we see them is when we make the effort, they never even phone to see how we are and they have made some very nasty comments in the past.

I have learned tho that the more against them I am the more DH will stick up for them, which is natural as no one wantd to hear bad things said of their parents (even if they know its true)

You sound pretty emotional at the mo which is understandable late in pg. My advice would be to talk calmly to your dh about your concerns about the dog, but dont make personal attack on his mum. Try your very best to be nice even if its really difficult, and you might find he opens up about how he feels about the way she treats him.

I really do feel for you and understand how you feel.

I don't think you are unreasonable, DH and I have already had the argument discussion about the fact that I don't want FIL's Staffordshire bull terrier or SIL's Jack Russell anywhere near our baby.

I'm only 18 weeks, but I feel VERY strongly about dogs being round children especially breeds like those.

DH says we don't need to discuss it yet, but translated means "I have no intention of listening to a word you say and we will go round there and you can be the stroppy cow and tell them to get it away from the baby"

It doesn't help that I prefer cats!

Im so glad you ladies are understanding me think my first post was a bit long winded and I was very angry at the time. My point is I suppose that the MIL is aware of the dog biting my DS and still carries on as if nothing happened. They just dont seem to be really that bothered at all. The attack was out of the blue which makes me even more upset about it. Im angry about the fact that I have to keep my mouth shut and then I dont want to visit there as his mum is crazy and the dog just makes my blood boil. I get fed up of my DP always giving in and he knows his mum is not the best mum and has not been for some time. I mean my DP had never met his dad. Then his mum was on facebook and saw his dad. How do you think she broke the news that he could see his dad for the first time in 30yrs? Well he went to make a cup of tea and she said casual your dad is on facebook I have added him as a friend. That was it!! WTF!! I think this is weird. I sat with him and said its up to you we looked together and he wrote his first message to his dad ever! His mother was playing games and said nothing to him about it. Then he saw his dad and she slagged DP off for it?!! I dont get it? I know your mum is your mum but how much shit do you have to take? I also feel let down as my mum is ok and I miss her and have moved down here for what a psyco family? Was hoping for a bit of support really.

just for those of you worried about your dogs/children etc (I know I am a bit concerned about mine being too boisterous) I thought these might be of some interest

www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=3753354&FullBreadCrumb=%3Ca+href%3D%22www2.scholastic.com/browse/search/%3FisParent%3DY%26query%3Dstilwell%26Ntt%3Dstilwell%26Nr%3DOR%2528Collection%253AConsumer%2BProducts%252CAudience%253AParents%252CP_URL%253AParents%2529%26Ntk%3DSCHL30_SI%26Ntx%3Dmode%2Bmatchallpartial%26N%3D0%26_N%3Dfff%22+class%3D%22endecaAll%22%3EAll+Results%3C/a%3E

and her website

positively.com/

having spent weeks in bed with HG, its safe to say I have watched many of her newer shows shows and have tried a few techniques ages ago when I first watched her in the UK and they do work

When I was married we had a Doberman cross (who satyed with my ex husband after we split) and the lurcher (who is with me now) we well I put training in place before the baby came home. They worked fine. I trained my dogs ok I think in the end. My lurcher is sooo lazy sometimes just touch her to make sure she is still alive! She has never been nasty and is 9 yrs old now but still would keep an eye on her when baby comes I keep an eye on her with DS who is now 5.
Im just annoyed that someone elses dog has bit my DS and done nothing about it or said sorry. If my dog bit anyone I would want to know why and what happened and then take it from there. If it was my dogs fault I would be gutted and very sorry indeed and hope they did not want her destroyed!