Body Issues anyone?

[BritinUSA]

Hi! I'm 15 weeks and first time pregnant. Our baby is much wanted (IVF) but am having a hard time coping with the change in body image. For many years I was heavy, eventually lost the weight and managed to keep it off. I became a gym rat, ate well and monitored my weight and felt better than I had in a long time.

At the moment, I'm having trouble with the scale numbers which are just going up! I've gained 8Ibs and have no idea if that is good, bad or average for where I am in the pregnancy. My doctor doesn't seem concerned. Reading the other weight threads it seems weight gain varies tremendously from woman to woman.

Logically, I know why my weight is going up and I'm happy - it means our baby is growing! Subconsciously, there is a voice that keeps telling me, I am slipping back into my old ways, and baby or not, I'm just going to go back to how I was - overweight and unhappy. It doesn't help that pre-pregnancy I used to be able to say 'no' most of the time to chocolate, ice-cream and dessert. Now they are virtually impossible to resist (sorry, sorbet just doesn't do it for me) and even though I look for healthy alternatives, I find myself raiding the cupboard just before bed - and it's not for fresh fruit or vegetables.

Has anyone else had experience of this? I'm still early in my pregnancy. Does it get easier when you / people can see you are visibly pregnant, rather than just having packed on a few pounds. I feel very self-absorbed writing this post as there are so many other more difficult things women on these boards are going through. However, for anyone who was once heavy knows, the 'fat' issue goes much deeper than just the physical.

Thanks for any advice and thoughts you might be able to share, I'd really appreciate them.

dont worry about your weight during pregnancy just go with the flow and enjoy it- ive never weighed myself once- and like you i was a gym goer/ regular jogs etc. i cant resist the sweet things but that is what my body is craving;so that is what my body gets, for gods sake if there is ever an excuse to let yourself go a bit its now so just relax, you found the motivation to lose weight in the past so you know you could do it again. just make sure you are still getting gentle exercises ie; walks, taking stairs instead of lift etc..dont ruin your pregnancy worrying about weight- its going to happen- and trust me you will have plenty other things to occupy your mind as you get further along. good luck and congrats btw

I know where you're coming from because I've always struggled with my weight although I've never managed to do what you've done and shed it. Well, actually that's not true. I've lost it but somehow it's always found me again!

It will get easier over time because you'll develop a bump which mentally will be logical because you're gaining weight IYSWIM?

8lbs is fine at this stage. Try not to worry too much.

If you're eating lots of high calcium things such as ice cream, is it possible you don't eat much dairy in your 'normal' diet? I always crave salt and my dr said it was probably because I use very little salt in cooking and hardly ever add it to my food. Once I did that then the craving ceased.

Finally, have you considered talking to someone in RL? Perhaps you're still punishing yourself for being fat? Or maybe you don't really feel you deserve this - to be happy and have a baby? If you've been trying for a long time it can work that way, I've read. Maybe talking to a good friend you trust or possibly someone professional might help? It would be a shame to spoil your whole pg with these feelings.

Honestly - most of us are just grateful for the opportunity to eat more yummy stuff without worrying too much!

I put on 3 stone both times. By the time I left hospital I was only carrying a stone. So 2stone was baby, placenta, water, blood.

As I was a healthy weight to start with 9stone carrying a extra stone didnt look to bad and within 6 months on DS it was gone, (bf, exercise). DD it took a bit longer about a year but that was because I didnt have the time to exercise as much still came of though.

I totallly understand. I'd just lost a lot of weight before I got pregnant and it's a massive adjustment. At first I thought I could just keep up with the same healthy diet with a bit more food and keep exercising, but hahaha. I was following a low GI diet and I seem to NEED high GI things like potatoes and I also want chocolate much more than I usually do. Weird because I usually want savoury more than sweet. A joint problem means I can't do any impact exercise, including walking!

I think it's really hard to adjust to the type of eating you need to do in pregnancy if you've been an overeater and then managed to control it. For me it's like there's some sort of switch between 'good' and 'normal' (i.e. overeating and no exercise), but pregnancy needs something in between. It's a mode I've never been in and I'm finding it difficult to get there. I'm doing aqua natal and yoga, but it's so hard to get the balance of eating right. There's no being grateful for eating junk for me because I've done it before and know I haven't been able to control it.

I am just accepting that I'll find it difficult and gain weight and that I will be able to be more controlled afterwards. I'd really recommend both yoga and relaxation CDs for feeling calm generally. Ignore the scales for now if you can and concentrate on relaxing.

Hi - another 'totally understand' here! I have never been really overweight but I have always had to work hard at the gym to maintain my weight. This was made slightly easier when diagnosed with PCOS and put on metformin (lost half a stone).

I too am IVF and due to boarderline OHSS my ovaries are still huge and my weekly PG photos have actually shown the thickness of my waist decrease. I was also told to not go to the gym as I had a high risk of ovarian torsion. To begin with I was also really strict with my low GI diet and gained no wieght, in fact as the swelling and fluid retention went down I lost a couple of pounds.

However, hit 7 weeks and seem to have just fallen into a crap food trap. Constantly craving really cheap crisps (transformer snacks, BBQ rib flavour!) and completely gone off salad and fruit. I am now 10+6 and started back at the gym gently and kicking the diet (by which I mean food types, not weight loss) back into shape. I have put on 5lbs which I don't want to lost but don't particularly want to gain any more at the moment. My thighs feel chunky and my face looks puffy which

I totally agree with Buttonmoon I think when the actual bump appears I will be a lot more accepting of the changes. I haven't really 'felt' pregnant so it doesn't help with the 'fat' feeling.

Sorry - not sure I really helped, it was good to share though :o)

I totally sympathise too.
I am also weight conscious and although I am naturally small, that is with me being careful about what I eat.
During my 1st pregnancy I put on 3.5 stones and was gorging on sweet things especially desserts.
This time I have tried to be really good and have avoided the sweet stuff and tried to eat healthier (bar the odd dessert )
However am now only 22 weeks and have already put on 15lbs!

I now think, maybe its something we cannot control and our bodies will store what they need to ??.
So I would say be careful when you can but don't sweat it too much, you body knows what its doing

Also, I know it?s not that reassuring at the moment, but the weight will all drop off again ???..
I put on half my body weight with DD1 and had lost it all again 12 months later, partly through BF and partly through effort
so as long as you can motivate yourself again later (a nice outfit in your original size in always a good incentive), you will get there
and you will have a beautiful baby as well!

I agree too, am finding it really hard - am only 10weeks have already gained about a stone although I am blaming some of that on Xmas weight that hasn't disappeared. I have always been "bigger" and gained around 5stone with DS 1 due to - (i thought) being lazy and eating badly - which has taken over 2 years of hard work and good diet to lose. I had just rewarded myself with a new wardrobe, got rid of all the bigger clothes, and thrown those E cup bras out for more streamlined C cups when wham bam thankyou, No2 is on its way... I am scared I am going to be as big as I was before. I was huge. I am trying to be sensible now, but am eating a few more carbs - not being silly - but my weight just seems to be going up every day. I'm not sure whether i prefer the thought that perhaps I am just genetically predisposed to being a massive bird whilst preggers, or that I am just being a piggy ... either way, the huge boobies, chafing thighs and chubby cheeks are really not doing it for me right now - can't wait for the bump ... at this rate it might be here tomorrow!!

Hi Can I pass on an idea that is working for me? As your pg progresses and your stomach starts to get squished, you might find that your hunger button gets switched off so you never actually feel hungry...but if you dont eat of course, the first thing you might notice is that you fall over! With a constant full feeling it is tempting to just pick at food all day out of habit and boredom and for me that has meant crisps and biscuits. It sounds very tedious but I have actively been planning my meals to make sure I eat sensibly and am maintaining my energy levels...whether I feel like it or not. I have been writing down a selection of good breakfasts, lunches and dinners with a selection of snacks and making sure I have those. Once I start eating I realise that I am actually hungry...but I'm not constantly grazing. Also I seem to have more energy doing this as I am getting good food not just hurried fat loaded crisps.
It kind of takes the fun out of eating for a while but it helps reassure me that I'm not overeating and that I'm getting nutritious stuff. Mind you I am still partial to the crisps....!

Hopefully you'll find it easier once you are visibly pregnant - I certainly did. The first three months are difficult body-image wise as you just feel you are getting fat/losing your figure, but once you get that bump you'll feel proud of it! I did anyway :)

i think it only gets worse... i haven't gained any weight in the 1st trimester, however, it really started piling up quickly after 19 weeks... now at 28 weeks, i have gained 8kg and am terrified what's gonna happen next. i know it is very tough, but from my own experience, i am not gonna say go ahead and have another ice cream, i am gonna say -- try to excercise control and stay on a healthy eating plan! remember that you only need to start eating 300 cal more in the 3rd trimester (well, easier said than done)... i feel your pain, though...

I have a 2 year old, 7 month old, and I am now 12 weeks pregnant
With my first, I thought I had put on loads of weight, but when I look back at photos, I hadnt at all!! Must have just felt bloated, as I didnt show untill about 6 months.
I used to jog a lot, and do weights every other night. Along with lots of mountain biking and walks at the weekend.
I had just started to get into exercise again, and after about a month, I got pregnant with my second, my bump was quite big at about 4 months, as was my bum ( never lost it from my first).
Again, I started to get my head around exercise again, and about a month later, got pregnant again!!
I am massive already at 12 weeks and feel really frumpy!
Want to eat healty, cause I am 3 sizes bigger than I was when I had my first.
But, I've realised that my cravings are my bodys way of telling me what it needs, not what I think it needs. I can exercise and diet after this one ( when my fella gets the snip !! lol )
I always know I am pregnant, even before I miss my period, as I crave pot noodles and mcdonalds ( which I never usually bother with)
During the morning sickness phase, it is always salt and vinegar crisps, or chips with loads of salt and vinegar.
I am now onto orange juice, grapes, ice cream, strawberrys. Anything cold and refreshing!!
Have a bit of what you fancy, and dont worry about your weight untill a month or two after you have the baby !!!! Enjoy!!

Forgot to say, with my first two, we had already book holidays abroad. This meant that I had to wear skimpy clothes, and a bikini both times when I was 4/5 months.
I felt myself cringe with embarasment when I walked to the pool. Because I didnt look pregnant, just like I had a wobbly stomach!
I stupidly rubbed my stomach and talked realy loud about the baby, so people would know I wasnt fat!
However, when I got a defined 'bump', I was happy to wear figure hugging tops, to show I was pregnant, because I was realy proud

Hi ladies - thank you SO much for your insights, ideas and of course personal experience. I really appreciated reading your posts.

Buttonmoon78, I hadn't really thought about the 'do I really deserve this?' question, but it is worth exploring and could be behind why I'm finding it a challenge to embrace the weight gain for the right reasons.

MainlyMaynie - your comment really resonated with me - "For me it's like there's some sort of switch between 'good' and 'normal' (i.e. overeating and no exercise), but pregnancy needs something in between. It's a mode I've never been in and I'm finding it difficult to get there". You summed up exactly how I am feeling - these strange cravings for foods I wouldn't normally glance at twice added to an increasing scale number, without the outside world knowing you are pregnant. It's not where I've been before, particularly when trying to lose or maintain weight.

I was really glad to read so many posts that say these feelings change when there is a visible bump. I look forward to that time - and want to be proud.

Jasmine51 - I liked your plan and it sounds like it is working. I just walked up to the vending machine at work, but turned tail and at the apple in my bag instead. Was it as satisfying as a Snickers - hell no, but I don't feel ravenous anymore and can make it for the next hour... (30 mins :)) before I start thinking about food again.

Thanks again for everyone's insights. I'm here in America where the weight guidelines it seems are a bit more generous than in the UK - 30 - 35Ibs is the recommended weight gain for a 'normal' sized woman. Much more generous than the 22-28Ibs prescribed by the NHS.

Thanks again everyone - a good dose of common sense :)